bad tipper

[lenni]

the guy i'm dating and i take turns paying when we go out to eat. sometimes we split, sometimes i pay, sometimes he pays. i often don't look at the bill when he pays, but a couple times i've seen it and seen that he left about a 10% tip. i bite my tongue because it's nice of him to offer to pick up the bill when he does, and since he's the one paying it's his choice how much to leave. but i feel really bad for the server. i know that's how they make their money! i like to leave at LEAST 15% and often more like 20%. i've never waited tables but i have friends who do or have, and i know they rely on those tips. and it's not like we got horrible service or anything when he left the 10%. the service was good. i sit there wishing i could leave a few extra dollars or say something, but i guess that would be insulting.

 

this guy is not frugal or cheap. he also isn't terrible with money or anything. he'll go out for a nice dinner or buy things sometimes, but he doesn't go overboard. and when we go out for coffee, he always makes sure to leave a $1 tip for the barista - ends up being about 20% (or sometimes more)! so i don't get why he leaves such awful tips for servers.

 

should i say something? just let it go?

[ghost69]

let it go. i usually tip like you do as i was in a service industry job before. i know what tips meant to me. maybe when you pay in front of him make sure he pays attention to your tipping. you shouldn't feel bad about this. it's his problem. lol

[Batya33]

I've been in that situation and it's uncomfortable and embarrassing. What I would do if possible - as you leave just say that you think you left something at the table and leave a few extra dollars. Or say you need to run to the ladies' room and leave the tip on the way out.

[Portage]

I say be honest with him. I used to waitress years ago and those people certainly earn their 15-20 percent. He probably doesn't realize he is being a tad cheap.

 

Next time reach into your wallet and tell him you tend to over tip because of your friends that have given you the low down on waiting tables, the work, the tips that are relied upon...I think he would be more than fine with this approach.

[amtjrtcet]

I know what you mean. I bartend part-time and I definitely always leave 20% unless the service was absolutely horrible. When I first started dating my boyfriend he tipped about 10%. That really bothered me. I casually said things here and there about what my opinion was on it and he is getting much better about tipping at least 15%. I think everyone should have to wait tables at some point in their lives. EVERYONE.

[itsallgrand]

Hmm. I've worked tables, and I don't find 10% bad at all. I would let it go considering he is indeed tipping and isn't a cheap guy to begin with.

 

I'm sure he has seen you tip more, so this is his choice. I don't see the big deal.

[ghost69]

toss a couple extra bucks down when he turns away. problem solved.

[krnelson2]

I would let it go. Everybody has their own theory on tipping. My dad is the same way. He is fairly wealthy but leaves about 10-12 percent anytime we go out to eat. My theory is that people who have a lot of money or are conscious about their money do not get rich by throwing their money away on things like this. Many wealthy people I know are terrible tippers. Next time you pay and leave the tip, try leaving the check out so he can see it. Maybe he will say something as to why you are leaving so much.

 

Then you can explain that you feel it necessary to leave 20 percent for servers. I myself am a server on the weekends and find it frustrating when people leave 10%, but its not that big of a deal. I wouldnt let it ruin the way you feel about the guy though.

 

It doesnt mean he's cheap, just frugal with his spending which is a huge plus in my book! It means he's smart with his money, which in the long run is very smart!!!

[itsallgrand]

Ouch. ^ So am I the only one who finds sneaking a few bills after a bit rude?

[Portage]

^ It seems like a lot of stress for nothing. Either she has to get comfortable with it OR she talks to him openly. Personally i woud tell him how it makes me feel and leave the difference, but that is just me.

[blazin]

I used to waitress years ago and those people certainly earn their 15-20 percent.

 

Not always. I usually always tip 20%. But if the service is bad, I will make a statement with my tip. I always go to the same 5 or 6 restaurants, so they know me. And the servers know if they give me great service with a smile, they'll get a nice tip. But if they never smile and don't check up on me regularly(which only happens rarely), they know that their tip will be small, 5-10%.

 

The reason I have such little tolerance for bad wait service is that I am in the customer service industry myself. It doesn't matter how bad or long my day has been, my job is to provide friendly and quality service to the paying customers.

 

If the service is good, then 10% is unacceptable, period. And you should tell this guy that 15-20% is more appropriate given the small hourly wage of the servers.

[itsallgrand]

I just thought of something.

 

When he pays, who usually leaves the tip? What my friends and I do is - whoever is getting their meal paid for, pays the tip.

 

If you did that, it's an easy opportunity to lead through example that you are giving 15 or 20 percent or whatever. I'd bet he'd follow and catch on to that.

[ghost69]

so if they leave you 10% with a credit card and their name on it, you don't go egg their house? lol

[krnelson2]

I would say it would be rude to throw in extra money after he has already left the tip too. This is his decision so why make him feel awkward about it. Believe me servers make enough, they might get frustrated for a minute but its not a big deal. Most will walk at the end of the night with 100-200 in their pockets. Pretty good if you ask me. If they work 3 nights a week, thats over 30,000 a year. NOT BAD! Plus they dont pay taxes on alot of it.

[Portage]

Not always. I usually always tip 20%. But if the service is bad, I will make a statement with my tip. I always go to the same 5 or 6 restaurants, so they know me. And the servers know if they give me great service with a smile, they'll get a nice tip. But if they never smile and don't check up on me regularly(which only happens rarely), they know that their tip will be small, 5-10%.

 

The reason I have such little tolerance for bad wait service is that I am in the customer service industry myself. It doesn't matter how bad or long my day has been, my job is to provide friendly and quality service to the paying customers.

 

Well of course it depends on the service. I was posting under the assumption that the server has earned their 15-20 percent. I agree with your views above.

[krnelson2]

Well Ghost69...Thats a different story. If I can find them I will let them know...J/K. Its not a big deal to me. everybody has different financial situations, who am I to judge? At the end of the night noone remembers that bad tipper anyway.

 

5% though....I will use their tip to buy a dozen eggs...and yes then its on!!

[ryan123]

I'd let it go...Maybe he thought the server did a horrible job?

 

I've left 0 dollars one time when me and my GF went out to eat. This lady was bad though...She was just flirting with the table of guys behind ours and it took her till we were done with out food for her to give us napkins and refills.

 

The next time we went there i'm pretty sure the same waitress recognized us. Awkward situation but she put on her A game and walked away this time with a 40% tip.

[ghost69]

Well Ghost69...Thats a different story. If I can find them I will let them know...J/K. Its not a big deal to me. everybody has different financial situations, who am I to judge? At the end of the night noone remembers that bad tipper anyway.

 

5% though....I will use their tip to buy a dozen eggs...and yes then its on!!

 

i just thought of this. on the CKY series videos, Raab himself was a pizza driver. he would write down all the addresses of the people that didn't tip. then at night he'd go back and knock over their mailbox. lmao at that part.

 

not that u'd do this krn.

[blazin]

It doesnt mean he's cheap, just frugal with his spending which is a huge plus in my book! It means he's smart with his money, which in the long run is very smart!!!

 

Regularly stiffing the servers is one of the most classless things a person can do, especially if that person is wealthy. Being frugal is fine when it comes to regular shopping, but when it's comes time to pay for personal service, a person should show genuine appreciation.

 

I guess that's what most rich people lack, a genuine appreaciation for other people. They are so used to stepping on other people on their way to acquiring their own wealth that, stiffing the waitress is no big deal.

[krnelson2]

blazin- I think you missed my point. They are not stiffing the server at all. Stiffin would be leaving nothing. 10% to most wealthy people is usually a large sum of money. Would you be satisfied with a 10% raise? How about a 10% increase in your portfolio. I sure would be.

 

I myself always leave 20%, but if you look at the rule of tipping its always been 10-15 percent. anything above that is directly associated with a much higher level of service. If they do something special, then go above and beyond, but why throw your money away on a server that is at best mediocre or standard.

[southerngirl]

I guess I am a bad tipper too! LOL

 

I try to leave good tips, but its not hardly always 20 percent...

[blazin]

blazin- I think you missed my point. They are not stiffing the server at all. Stiffin would be leaving nothing. 10% to most wealthy people is usually a large sum of money. Would you be satisfied with a 10% raise? How about a 10% increase in your portfolio. I sure would be.

 

I myself always leave 20%, but if you look at the rule of tipping its always been 10-15 percent. anything above that is directly associated with a much higher level of service. If they do something special, then go above and beyond, but why throw your money away on a server that is at best mediocre or standard.

 

Sorry bro, 10% is nothing but cheap. What's an extra 20 bucks on a $350 dollar tab? If you're rich you can afford it. There's absolutely no reason a person shouldn't pay AT LEAST 15%. And if they don't, they're cheap, and I will tell them that.

 

These waiters and waitresses are getting paid between 5 and 10 bucks and hour plus tips, and often they have to give a percentage of their tips to the bussers. So they don't make much money. And they work for it. ESPECIALLY when they are waiting on your average rich person who has learned to become demanding, rude, and impatient.

 

I would see it as an insult to receive anything less than a 15% tip for wait service.

[southerngirl]

This does make me think though.

 

When we go to eat at this restaurant near here, its usually just under 30, and we leave like 3-4 dollar tip.

 

They treat us well, and thats what we leave....

 

So that makes me cheap?

[lenni]

thanks for all the responses! lots of different perspectives - it's great!

 

i guess i always thought that 15% was the low end for servers, unless the person just gave you terrible service. but people have different ideas of what is appropriate, i guess.

 

this isn't really affecting how i feel about him - i just feel kind of bad for the server who i think did a good job and was attentive and friendly and gave good service. to me it's important to compensate well for that, and i guess i have a different idea of what is an appropriate amount to tip.

 

i'd feel odd about leaving an extra tip behind his back because i would feel like i was being sneaky or something instead of being direct. i just want the server to be well compensated if they did a good job. but i don't think i should try to push my opinion on him. i think i've actually mentioned in the past that i had friends who wait tables and the tips are how they make money so i like to leave good tips. i'm not sure about that - so maybe i'll mention it again casually when i'm calcuating a tip or something. it was a good idea about picking up the tip when he gets the bill and then explaining why i like to leave more. but he doesn't have to agree or do the same as me.

[blazin]

This does make me think though.

 

When we go to eat at this restaurant near here, its usually just under 30, and we leave like 3-4 dollar tip.

 

They treat us well, and thats what we leave....

 

So that makes me cheap?

 

3 bucks is definitely cheap. You should thrown down a fiver and walk out the door.