Worst Xmas Ever

[bobsiesprincess]

So its been almost 5 months, and ive been doing so much better. But ive been really avoiding bumping into the ex. Tonight i went out clubbing and i did. He tried to talk to me and i just ignored it and walked away. Everyone said to me when you meet him just act happy and be like hey, but i couldnt. i was just so shocked and i knew id cry so i walked away. Its had been left in his his court to text me when he was ready to be friends and he didnt text me to say happy xmas or anything, so why should i have spoken to him. He obviously spoke to his cousin about it cos she came up to me and said, please talk to him. and he was right there with her. I did the same again and said no and walked away.

 

I know i was in the wrong. I should have acted more mature and spoken to him but I just didn't want to ruin my night any more than it already was. But now i want to call him and see what he wanted. Everythings so fresh again now. I feel as bad as i did on the night he dumped me.

 

I realised tonight how much i still love that boy with all my heart. i honestly think ill never ever get over him, he means so much to me. but i have so much anger towards him now for how much he hurt me and how he dealt with our breakup, as if i meant nothing to him. i know i did mean alot to him though. But i just cant be friends and make small talk and kid on everythings ok. I hope hes hurting as much as me tonight. I dont think ive ever felt so much anger as i do right now, ive said i hope hes lonely forever but i know thats not fair cos hes an amazing guy - i just wasnt good enuf for him. i know he had every right to dump me, and that if he needed to do that for himself to be happy he should have, but I just can't get rid of the feeling pure anger for what hes put me through and done to me.

 

Oh and another friend came and told me he thinks my ex is going to get off with this girl. So now i have so much anger towards her too. When i know it aint her fault. i wish i cld be normal again.

 

i guess anger is a normal stage, everyone gets it at some point. i just wish it didnt take me soooo long or was so intense.

[St00f]

You did say you were clubbing, so do you mind me asking if alcohol was involved? If it was the morning after would be a better time to analyze all of this.

 

But anyways,

 

My impression is he is doing a good job getting over the break up whether or not he feels the same way about you. Christmas can be a lonely time but the next one is a year from now If you still really love him It would probably be a bad idea to talk to him while you still have so much feelings for him because they might just get stronger.

 

If your friends have given good advice in the past I would take theirs this time.

 

 

Hope this helps

[buckdawg]

you don't have to apologize for not wanting to see him or speak to him if you're not ready. you are the only one that knows what you're ready for so don't listen to anyone if they tell you to talk to him.

[cristal]

I also ran into my recent ex about 3 months after the break-up. Both times he tried to speak to me and both times I ignored him. I just couldn't respond and it was all attributed to his behavior after the breakup. At times I wondered if I did the right thing by not responding, but I would have felt like a phony if I did.

 

So, I can really relate to you not being able to speak to him. The reason why it is so difficult, it is because you are still hurt and angry and you will require more time to get past this. There is no time frame regarding these situations and speaking to him depends totally upon your recovery from the hurt, anger and the betrayal. In otherwords it is all based upon when you are ready, and only you will know. Not your friends.

[bobsiesprincess]

so i got really upset about the whole thing this afternoon, because i found out he texted his friend to tell him i was ignoring him so it obv affected him. i nearly called him to ask him to come out a drive. but after texting a couple of friends realised it wasnt a great idea. i texted him saying "sorry for ignoring you last night. im sure you know why and realise i wasnt being a * * * * * " he text back straight away saying "yeh i know its ok. sorry about my cousin, I dont think she realised we had broken up and she was trying to lighten the mood" it really hit me hard, i mean obviously i know we've broken up, but to read it in a text from him was weird. man i miss him so much.