Christmas Text Message

[Sadukguy]

for previous story headed she has agreed to meet which finished that she said good idea to meet but after xmas after we have both had time to think.

 

Now a week on and out of the blue text me today to say 'i hope you have a wonderful christmas' she then signed her name ie Amy. Even though of course I knew it was from her....said to stick in my mind? This was after an email reply on Sunday (initiated by me to say i hope she had a good birthday) from her saying she hopes I have a good christmas. I replied to text wishing her family well etc all normal no 'forgive me or sorry' and she replied back she will say hi to family for me and that her niece loves the present i got her.

 

Does anyone think that the fact that she has contacted me off her own back suggests she is missing me? Remember, she dumped me during a 5 second telephone call after she had run inside after an argument in my car. Then first and second email seemed to be getting everything off chest and second email ended about good idea to meet.

 

She does have a temper sometimes and am wondering that after all this it was just the space she was craving, (yes there have been issues about feeling trapped) I have given her that space. Am I right to feel positive?

[Hope75]

I think my biggest concern with this situation is that she dumped you over the phone seconds after having a fight with you.

 

What was the fight about?

 

Have you two broken up before, and how long were you together?

[Sadukguy]

The fight was about picking her up in the wrong place. She was much more annoyed than would be expected and to be fair i was the one that was grumpy when she got in the car. The issues she had bubbling under were obviously coming out in the argument ie her frustration.

 

After she ran off, i then phoned she then said 'its over' shouting. I then rang again and she hung up. I went upto front door and could see her hanging up thru the glass window. Her dad came out and we chatted. He said she may ring tomorrow. A couple of friends have said this indicates he has seen it before. She does have a history of getting back with the previous bf, that was at xmas and he was a real pig to her.

 

We together 13 months, no previous split ups.

 

My current thoughts are that she regrets not talking about things, regrets being a hot head and has calmed down now (she didn't speak to her dad for 4 days after he told her to 'tidy your room now' (she 27!). Having the seeds planted of the expensive wine I got her dad and present for her niece already at the house and me maintaining VLC without continuing to plead with her but remaining cheery maybe made her think. I should also say that we both have family members with terminal illnesses (her gran my mum) and we have both lost our jobs and regained them. Everything has happened in the past three months.

[wiser]

Now a week on and out of the blue text me today to say 'i hope you have a wonderful christmas' she then signed her name ie Amy. Even though of course I knew it was from her....

 

I take it her name isn't Amy? Then how can you be sure it was from her?

 

Do you know anyone named Amy?

[Hope75]

It does sound as though she majorly over-reacted. Perhaps she is trying to feel things out and see if you are interested in working it out, but I think if that were to happen she owes you a BIG apology, and you both need to feel comfortable talking about things that bother you so this sort of thing doesn't happen again.

[Sadukguy]

Thanks. No her name is not Amy i didn't use her real name. I don't suspect it was from anyone else. It was her number. She is round her family today and the tone of the text said it was her.

 

Yes i wud say she owes me an apology for the way she overreacted and failure to talk to me about things. I did ask b4 but all i get was 'i'm fine its just the issues with my gran and work'.

 

She knows i love her, my original email just 5 days ago pleading for a 2nd chance would have told her this. Having already got an email reply saying have a good xmas, to get a text today to say have a lovely xmas certainly cheered me up.

 

Plan

 

I intend phoning her on Thursday at work (she has to go in on her own). Will arrange meet, not push her. I would say if it is sooner rather than later thats a good sign. When we meet i want to take her to where we met. Lots of memories.

 

I will say to her how great she looks etc (she always does). Then go thru the issues she raised on her email. I want to show her i have changed my perception and attitude whilst giving her clear examples and proof of things changed already (i will not be saying i have changed, people who say that are talking bull). I won't plead for a 2nd chance but will ask if we can give us a second go. I'll then offer a day this Saturday which is an US day of her choosing where we can have a nice day, talk things over nothing heavy. I hope this works. I feel more positive now. Because I havn't come accross as needy in the past few days I don't think she text because she felt sorry for me/her.

 

As you say hope maybe she is feeling things out. Am i interested in working things out? You bet and much wiser for the future.

[Sadukguy]

Ok phoned her today at work....no answer. Also noticed no activity on Facebook since xmas day morning and her brother has deleted me as a friend, though to be fair i didn't once contact him on there and it was me that had originally added him as a friend. We got on ok generally in person.

 

So I phone on her mobile...rings and rings....and she answers. Sounds terrible, She has the flu. We chatted about xmas and how her birthday went, she asked about my mum (who is ill) . I then said 'shall i ring you later to see how you are'. She said she was going back to sleep, something which she had been doing since the morning of 26th. I didn't push it...in the past i would have said 'please can i ring u later'. But i didnt, her first answer is something i now know i should take and not badger her. I then said about meeting up to chat about things and give her presents to her. She said 'it will probably not be till the weekend'. I wished her well.

 

I since spoke to my sister who said she had text my ex to say thanks for the xmas presents. She then came back and said about the flu.

 

Is this promising? A week ago she wouldn't even talk to me full stop, 'its over' being her last words to me. But going from that to the emails of i cant go back, to good idea to meet, to general emails saying have a good christmas, and asking bout my family, to wishing me a wonderfull xmas in a text on xmas day, to today where she sounded normal. All this in the space of a week.

 

On another thread someone mentioned that her showing interest in the family is her wanting to 'stay in the circle' ie she still wants to be apart of my life. And that because she wished me a wonderful xmas on xmas day that this is because she is feeling things out to see if i am still interested in working things out.

 

Thoughts?