Missing your ex today???

[terk2021]

Well,

 

It's Christmas eve, and we are all probably wondering where our exes are, what they are doing, who they are with... It's especially a tough time of year when we remember Christmas spent with our ex, the excitement of buying their gift, watching them open it... Alright, enough of the grieving.

 

I am in the same boat here. It's my 2nd Christmas without her, but I can at least say it's getting a little easier. I made some serious strides in 2007, and I am really looking forward to 2008. I have been posting out here a lot lately,writing to those that are missing their exes at this time of year.

 

I just thought I would blast a general post to all that are going through this and maybe some of these things might help:

 

--The person you fell in love with is no longer that same person

 

Our hearts still see the person that told us they loved us, missed us, and saw us together forever. That's not who they are anymore.

 

--It's not your fault

 

When the heart is stronger than the mind, we sometimes want to do whatever it takes to win back the love we once had and cherished, which ended up pushing the relationship away in the 1st place

 

--Do you remember how it felt when you met them

 

Guess what? You will ultimately meet someone that will give you the same feeling, if not even better.

 

--Someone up there is watching out over us

 

Sure, we question why things happen, what we did wrong, and why are we being punished. It hurts just that much more on occasions such as anniversaries, holidays, and birthdays... I am not a big fan of country music, but go out to google and find the lyrics to a song written by Rascal Flatts "God Blessed the Broken Road". Everything truly does happen for a reason.

 

--Remember the person you were before you met your ex

 

Male/female, it does not matter. We met someone at a bar, through a friend, online, on an airplane, most likely when we least expected it. Well, it will happen again.

 

--Grieve in your own way

 

There are so many posts out here about formulas to recovery. NC vs LC vs do whatever it takes to win them back. We are all built differently, recover differently. Most likely, our friends and family are either tired of hearing about us missing our ex, but are still there to support us.

 

--Keep a journal

 

Write down your thoughts, what you want in a relationship, your goals, objectives for the future, and what happens during your day.

 

--No matter how bad we have it, someone has it worse

 

Try and think about the things that are good in your life. Sure, it was the best when we had our best friend, but we can find new best friends. There are many out there suffering more than us this time of year.

 

--You deserve better

 

Think of the way things were when your relationships were ending. Were you truly happy??? Most likely not, you missed what you had when the relationship was good, not where it was when it ended.

 

--Keep posting

 

Everyone is here to help. It's nice to at least know we are not alone. We have family and friends, but there is no better support system than from others that are going through what we are going through.

 

--He/She is out there

 

We do get to experience the joy of falling in love again. It may not feel like it now, but when you find it, you will know. There is someone out there just waiting to meet us.

 

--Post to help others

 

As my lows are not as lows, and my highs are getting higher, I come out here to write to help others going through the pain and loss of their ex gf/bf, fiance, spouse... Everyone writing here is out here for support. Help support them too.

 

To all, I wish you the best through the next few weeks, and to toasting in the best year of our lives in 2008. He or she is just waiting to meet us. Let's go meet them and put our past in the past.

 

Terk

[MaNg0s]

Great post. That was really wonderful advice ty and have a merry Christmas.

[airbag11]

Great post, Terk!

[cabman]

I am not missing my ex today.....I am missing having a relationship today. I think many people confuse missing having a relationship with missing the person they were with. Sometimes it difficult to separate the two.

 

Merry Christmas everyone.....

[JDMxTeGrA101]

my 2nd christmas without a lady. I miss spending x-mas with someone. It feels so different being single on x mas but its okay keep your heads up guys.

[dd]

I'm glad you posted this. A few months ago my ex recently contacted me and I posted my frustrations. Some of you posted to call him and it seemed like he wanted to get back together. I did call him and he called me and we spoke about his brother who was having some issues. Anyway, he said he would call but it's been almost a month.

 

Now with Xmas, he kissed me for the first time during the Holidays. So that is where I'm missing him. He hasn't even bothered to call me and his still in his own little world leaving me hanging.

so yeah, I'm tempted to text him......HELP.......

 

I have relapsed because i was doing really well till he contacted me back in November.

[terk2021]

Hey dd, I would not send the text. I sent one to my ex fiance wishing her and her daughter the best during this holiday season and in the future. I regretted it from the second I hit send. It felt good typing it, but then you start wondering if you are going to get a response, or how they felt about it...

 

It just gets your mind churning again... I am sorry you are going through this.

Sometimes we feel like we are the only person in the world going through this. It's at least nice to know that we are not alone, and we have a place to come and vent.

 

With Christmas in the past now, and a few days until New Years, you have something to look forward to. Remember how you felt when you fell for this man. You now have the opportunity to feel that way about someone else.

 

You just have to go through the healing process, and get through it the best you can. We all heal in different ways. There is no right or wrong way to heal. It's just important that you start moving forward at the best pace you can.

 

I hope you at least had a wonderful Christmas (outside) of this issue of course.

 

Terk

[dd]

thank you Terk, I don't plan to write him, he can contact me if he wants to.

 

My issue is that it's been three years since our relationship ended. I have been going out and meeting people and doing a lot of things such as going back to school and getting my masters, increasing my social circle, traveling. next week I'm going on a New Years Cruise.

 

I just though haven't been able to meet anybody interesting or things just don't work out. I just don't get it.