A little help please

[MNmike]

I'm having some thoughts I need some opinions on.

My girlfriend of almost 5 years, long distance for the last year, decided she couldn't do it anymore about a month ago. She really wanted me to move last August, I did not, I was not ready, I wanted to but never talked about it again. I know that was stupid. Things seemed fine, but she said lately she was sad more than happy. She felt I would never move, and I didn't express my feelings enough. We went through a similar break up in Feb 05. She didn't let me know she was sad, and broke up with me. We slowly got back togther and by Dec 06 things were great.

 

We talked last week and it didn't go very well. I know she is seeing someone, but she does not know that. She also didn't tell me when we talked.

 

She is here for the holidays to see relatives. When we talked she wanted to see me, just hang out but I said I couldn't do that right now. But I still do not feel right since we have not seen eachother since the break up, it was all over the phone.

 

I know where she will be this weekend, I have been at her grand parents several times. I am having crazy thoughts of going there and just to see her and here it from her that this is truley what she wants, and that she does not love me enough. Maybe its a closure thing, maybe I still have hope. Or would I just be making things worse. I just can't shake the idea that we have not talked in person. It is killing me. Should I just stick to letting her be, I feel like I have nothing to lose right now, but don't want to come off as a desperate person begging for her to come back to me. What should I do.](*,)

[MushroomGod]

Honestly I think you should see her in person. Sometimes that makes plenty of difference. If she lives far away when is the next time you'll have that chance? I would go and be calm, don't talk about the relationship and try to have fun. Show her why she loved you in the first place.

[MNmike]

She vistits MN regularly. At least she used to when we were together, but also to see her friends and grand parents. She is in grad school, so probably not until spring break, maybe sooner. Not sure when she'll be back. Maybe I should just wait?

[MushroomGod]

If you wait she may move on faster until shes gone. If you don't want to see her then don't, but trust me seeing someone in person and talking over the phone are 2 totally different things.

[MNmike]

Any other opinions out there?

I feel bad about us breaking up over the phone. I don't think seeing her will change the break up at all. But Maybe make me feel better. Or it could make me feel worse knowing shes going home to someone else. We haven't seen eachother in 2 months. Just talked to her twice since the break up. Once very briefly. Do I let her know I still care, it is Christmas.

Also I feel stupid because I already said last week I couldn't see her. I don't want to look like I'm confused, or playing games.

I do miss her very, very much. I've read to just apply no contact, but If I believe there is no chance of us ever getting back together, does that really matter?

 

Any one have experience in this situation?