I feel so heartbroken and confused :-(

[AngryHeart]

So, Saturday night I go out with friends to try and forget everything. It was weird - I enjoyed it but at the same time felt down. At first I was really excited but as the night ended, my two friends were with there boyfriends...I felt sooo lonely. They were trying to involve me and everything (talking and that) but I just felt soo empty. They were all over each other, and it left me wiht this other lonely guy - I was probably a bit rude, I didn't mean to be though. He kept hugging me "trying to keep me warm" ugh. I was just trying not to cry and spoil everyones night.

 

Then Sunday morning my mum tells me she saw the ex She said she "had to" talk to him which I'm a bit P'd off with. Basics are, he asked if I was OK, my mum said I was fine (HA, he knows I'm not) and said he was worried what I'm doing for Xmas. lol, I was meant to be spending it with him and his family because my mum is working, but turns out I can spend it with her now. And she told him that I would be with her. Also, he had asked me to be friends and said I could text him - which I did about a week ago to no reply and he had his phone off. Turns out he has a new one Am I really THAT bad that he has to change numbers?! I hadn't text him in a while. BUT this is the confusing part - my mums friend who goes to the pub which my mum saw the ex in, told my mum that he has my number in there I have no idea why he would tell him this because he apparently doesn't like the guy. And I also don't know why my mums friend would tell her that. I mean...it seems so random that he would tell this guy "oh yeah, I have a new phone but I have Jade's number in it" Er...ok. But mum promised me he really said that, and I doubt she would lie about that. Also he was thinking about getting a new one when I was with him, so maybe it's nothing to do with me?!The ex also told her what he got me for Xmas, she said he could give it to her and she'd give it me. He said "no,I'll give it to her some way"

 

Argghh ](*,) I can't help analyzing it all. I didn't even want my mum talking to him in the first place! She said she "had to be polite" well yeah but there is one thing being polite, and another having a whole convo with him. But anyway, I guess I have no choice but to do NC unless he texts me anyway, which he may never It's so horrible to think he might not.

 

Sorry, had to vent. Any advice or anything?

[AngryHeart]

Also I bet he will be in his local (that was mine too) celebrating Xmas Eve tonight I wonder if he feels any sadness and misses me at all?

[LBP]

He does. But you can't let that affect you.

 

It's not about him anymore.