Need Some Advice Please

[Disgonecrazy]

OK this will probaly get long and ranting but i really need some advice.

 

First of all my girlfriend and I have been together 7 months and we do live together. She has 2 daughters that live with us full-time. and i have 2 boys that i have every other weekend from a past relelationship. I love her and her daughters very much. At first I really didnt pay bills honestly but I did buy a lot of things i.e. for her girls and at the time groceries groceries. She came to me a few months later and confronted me and said be a man you should pay the bills well in the end we split bills which at the time I know I was wrong and now pay a percentage no problem I have no issues with that.

 

Well for the problem earlier this week i had car trouble and a friend from work help me get it home. Well in the mix while i was outside i guess she asked him a question and later that night he started texting him. At this time i didn't know this. Well a few days later I was at his house and we were working on my car and he went inside. well his phone went off and wouldnt stop so i grabbed it to find on the front screen it was my girlfriends name. Well i opened it i know i shouldn't have and found she had been texting him. Bottom line i got caught in a couple lies. I told her earlier that week that all of use were off when really i was given off cause i was sick i wasn't honest with here. Another was I told her i was teaching a class when i was really at the hospital (I have medical problems atm) now on this i didn't tell her because i thought she would worry but i', seeing that i don't think she cares.

 

Well because of the holidays we have run up a huge gas bill and with blowing up 2 engines in 2 cars both mine orginally mine I have paid it. She really stressed about bills and I can;t blame her but i told her to give me after the new year i will do all i can to catch everything up and help as much as i can.

 

Well I know i wasn't honest I love this woman I really do and i mess up i told her that and said i would do better. Any advice in showing her please. I mean i do everything i can. I was just wondering if there is anyone out there that has any ecceptional ideas that put a smile on their gf's face. I just want to make her happy.

 

 

P.S. Unfortunently from this i have lost a lot of trust in this friend. He is single and he has made comments not particular about my gf but other peopls wifes. So now I'm freaking out because i'm sure they are texting and talking to eachother

[Crazyaboutdogs]

Why are you continually lying to your girlfriend? Why does she have to pressure you into doing things that you should be thinking of on your own (contributing to the bills etc). I am also suspicious as to why she is texting your friend. I think both of you really need to sit down and talk about this relationship. I think you need to start being honest with her and have a good heart to heart with her. Maybe things have not progressed with Mr. Romeo and you can head off a disaster. Start acting like a responsible adult and be her partner, not a liability.

[Disgonecrazy]

Why are you continually lying to your girlfriend? Why does she have to pressure you into doing things that you should be thinking of on your own (contributing to the bills etc). I am also suspicious as to why she is texting your friend. I think both of you really need to sit down and talk about this relationship. I think you need to start being honest with her and have a good heart to heart with her. Maybe things have not progressed with Mr. Romeo and you can head off a disaster. Start acting like a responsible adult and be her partner, not a liability.

 

Well i didn't know she was texting my friend at first i stubled on it. I asked to talk to her last night and we did for awhile and I came out and told her the truth then she turned on me and said well this is what your friend is saying. What he is saying isn't exactly the same as what is the truth i don't know if it is implied or what. I confronted and told her that i didnt like her texting him not telling her not to but just voicing i didn't like it and got yelled at that it is her phone she'll do as she wish. As like i said at first i didn't but after we talked i even offered to pay all for a few months to make up for not paying at first because i admited to her i was wrong and wanted to make up for it. Last night i tried to be straight forward and honest with her explain what is going on at work etc. and got blazed.

[Crazyaboutdogs]

Wow, this is not looking good. I wonder if her hostility towards you is a cover up for what she is really doing with your friend. I would say be on your guard...I smell a rat with her. I am not even quite sure why the two of you moved in together so quickly. You have only been together 7 months...also, this is not healthy for the children involved.

[Disgonecrazy]

Wow, this is not looking good. I wonder if her hostility towards you is a cover up for what she is really doing with your friend. I would say be on your guard...I smell a rat with her. I am not even quite sure why the two of you moved in together so quickly. You have only been together 7 months...also, this is not healthy for the children involved.

 

Now as far as moving in we do it to fast i agree. The first few months were great she cuddled with me and we sat on the couch together. Not anymore it feels she says she loves me but getting affection from her is like pulling teeth it feels somethimes. At first she was very interested inm my boys but last month or so she trys to be not at the house because my little one is rambucious and loud. The last two days I've just been sick to my stomach because i do love her i feel for her hard. She consentely stresses about bills i understand but i try to reasure her but i can't help more till after the new year then I'll do whatever i can to help.

[wiser]

OP, you keep talking about the texting, and how he might be telling her what really happened, or he might not be. That has nothing to do with the problem.

 

The problem is you have told her a whole bunch of lies for reasons that are unclear, and she has no reason to trust you. All you can do is stop the lies right now, completely, explain to her (and us) why you felt the need to lie, and hope that the damage is reversible.

 

I also wonder why your friend went behind your back to disclose the lies you told to your GF.

[Disgonecrazy]

OP, you keep talking about the texting, and how he might be telling her what really happened, or he might not be. That has nothing to do with the problem.

 

The problem is you have told her a whole bunch of lies for reasons that are unclear, and she has no reason to trust you. All you can do is stop the lies right now, completely, explain to her (and us) why you felt the need to lie, and hope that the damage is reversible.

 

I also wonder why your friend went behind your back to disclose the lies you told to your GF.

 

this is what happened to better explain:

 

monday i have a heart issue called neurocardiogenic syncope. mobday morning i called my friend and co-worker hey i am sick as heck and im not gonna come in he said no problem. Sometime that morning my gf asked me why i was home and i said we had off and not that im off. I didnt think anything of it and was snoring away.

 

tuesday Got in car engine blew on the way to work call friend he came and got me and took to fathers house an hour away and got my other car that had been sitting for long time blew a tire just a bad day.

 

wednsday co-worker was teaching a class about welding i was standing there. GF texted me asked what i was doing saidf i was helping teaching a class. Got called out a little after to go to last minute appt at hosipital. On way home blew head gasket in that car. friend came and got me took me home.

 

thursday drove truck to work did absolutely nothing we were on have day schedule. got off me and friend started workin on head gasket of car. he went inside for something and his phone started going crazy annoying grabbed it to take to hime saw girlfriends name. Thought why the hell gf texting him opened and saw text that said "what the f*** he said he was teaching class not at hospital." So i called gf and asked why are you texting checking up on me. she said wednsday night while i was outside that she asked my friend do we ever work and later he texted her asking about it then the texting started. He told her i said that i paid all the bills when I didn't what i said is she was pissed cause i didn't pay all the bills at first but this gas bill we were about to get i was going to have to pay. Well i talked to gf on phone about it and told her i was wrong and i was going to confront him about it. I asked him if he had a problem with me not veing at work monday so really not a confrontation like it should have been. But i will when he gets back from vacation.

 

friday got stuck on 24 hour work shift... sometime that day my friend called my gf told her sorry about the drama guess he went through my phone even after i told him what happened. my gf and i talked throughout the evening didn't see no problems

 

saturday came home day went well but she was texting like crazy i went to grocery store and got dinner for us and the girls (daughters). that evening she was texting like crazy and i was get sick sick sick to my stomach. then we went to bed we talked see post above. I did text my friend cause he was driving out of town and asked him what can i do because i do love her and he said be straight and honest sit down and talk. just was curious what he would say.

 

sunday now im here today asking for advice from the experts cause i really love this woman.

[wiser]

Thanks for posting your weekly schedule.

 

I'm sorry, but I don't see the point.

[Crazyaboutdogs]

Big issue is your lying. I think if I were her I would be really upset if someone kept lying to me. Even for superficial things you seem to feel the need to lie. I think you need to work on that problem. If you really love someone you are honest with them...you don't lie.

[Disgonecrazy]

Thanks for posting your weekly schedule.

 

I'm sorry, but I don't see the point.

 

 

Sorry wasnt't trying to post the weekly schedule at all just trying to explain the events up to now. Didn't mean to offend you by any means.

[wiser]

Sorry wasnt't trying to post the weekly schedule at all just trying to explain the events up to now. Didn't mean to offend you by any means.

 

I'm impossible to offend. I'm just failing to see the point of posting your schedule.

 

The relevant facts:

 

You lied. About a lot of different things that there doesn't seem to be good reason to lie about.

 

Your friend ratted you out. He may have done the "right" thing. But I question his motives.

 

She found out and has serious doubts about you and how she wants to proceed.

 

You want advice.

 

Your weekly schedule is irrelevant.