condom in boyfriends wallet?!

[imacarrie]

I am sooo mad right now. My boyfriend and I were on a sorta "break" for a week. Well, the break helped and we're "back together."

 

YEAH WELL, he spent the night at my house lastnight. He left early this morning to go play football with the guys. HE left all his stuff because he is coming back to shower. We have a BBQ to go to this afternoon.

 

WELL, in the midst of moving his things from the living room to the bedroom ... his wallet falls out along with a GREEN DUREX CONDOM!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!? We don't use condoms and haven't used condoms for almost a year!

 

This all ties into the other day too ... now that I think about it. Out of the blue ... completely out of nowhere he says "i think my brother has been using the motor home to get it on." "he was like yeah, there are cheap green condoms all over the place." ????????? Like I care?! Was it his way of shifting his guilt???

 

I don't even know why he would bring that up? THEN I find this GREEN DUREX CONDOM in HIS wallet.

 

OMG what do I do?!?!?!?!?!? Do I have a right to be mad ......... we were on a break ............ but he shouldn't have condoms???? And condom wrappers all over the motor home floor??? Did he have sex??? Should I ...... care? Or do I have no right to be upset?

 

I really need some help on what to do before he gets herE!!

[JeckyllNHyde]

i wldnt think much of it... unless you have reason to dis trust... then it's an issue.

some guys just walk around with condoms in their wallets. besides, he might have just tooken one lying around the motorhome. i would.

in case of emergency.

[imacarrie]

i wldnt think much of it... unless you have reason to dis trust... then it's an issue.

some guys just walk around with condoms in their wallets. besides, he might have just tooken one lying around the motorhome. i would.

in case of emergency.

 

but WE don't use condoms. he NEVER carries condoms!

 

theortically ... if he did have sex w/someone else while we were on a "break" can i be maD???? should i confront him that i found it??

[jengh]

technically, you can't be mad about it if you were on a break but it would bug the crap out of me and I'd probably drive myself mad not knowing and wind up asking him about it...if you DO ask him, be rational and calm.

[rocio]

Confront him about it and ask him how HE would feel if he found out that you were trying to get some one your sorta-one-week-break.

 

I don't think it's a good sign at all. Screw technicalities.

[lilypadgirl]

I agree! I would ask him calmly and rationally.

 

But before that, you have to think what your feelings are in the case he did have sex with someone during the break. If this is something you can/want to get over and you believe he is serious about making it work, then treat it as what it is, a thing of the past and work on moving forward and rebuilding the relationship. If not, then at least you know and can move on.

 

But I agree with Jeckyll, unless you have reasons to distrust him, it could just be he saw them lying around and picked one up, stuck it in his wallet, and forgot all about it.

 

Either way, you guys should talk CALMLY and without accusations. Worst thing to have a misunderstanding hovering over a new start.

[Crazyaboutdogs]

Confront him about it and ask him how HE would feel if he found out that you were trying to get some one your sorta-one-week-break.

 

I don't think it's a good sign at all. Screw technicalities.

 

 

Yeah, I agree. I mean really, one week and he can't keep it in his pants! Something is wrong here. Why did you guys take a break to begin with?

[buckdawg]

Yeah, I agree. I mean really, one week and he can't keep it in his pants! Something is wrong here. Why did you guys take a break to begin with?

 

thank you! i assume the week break was for reflection and not to sow his seeds.

 

edit: course he wasn't really sowing if he was using a condom now was he? lol

[wiser]

WELL, in the midst of moving his things from the living room to the bedroom ... his wallet falls out along with a GREEN DUREX CONDOM

 

You obviously had trust issues with him if you felt it necessary to go through his wallet. That's what really happened, right?

[NewPhillyGuy]

I'd like to know the reason for the break. The context would me help to better understand the situation.

[JeckyllNHyde]

yea but who says he even had sex?

who said he was even looking?

there is a diffrence between looking, and being prepared just in case some rare occasion arises. i dunno.. i know some guys will go to clubs with condoms in their pockets. whether they get action or not. you just never know...

i walk around with them, and i don't sleep around even if the chance arises. it's just i guess something which "belongs" in a wallet accoding to cliche... especially guys.

[tmp0620]

You don't know why he had a condom in his wallet. If he said BEFORE you saw the condom that there were green condoms all over his motor home, then maybe he just grabbed one since they were all over the place...

 

Don't assume that he went out and had sex.

[rocio]

I wouldn't assume he'd had sex. If he had, there probably wouldn't have been a condom. I would, however, assume that he was looking for it. Which is basically the same as cheating except that he wasn't able to score an easy woman for a 1 night stand.

[Shiranai]

My fiance and I don't use condoms, and we haven't used condoms for 3 years. However, he always keeps a fresh BOX of condoms, and replaces it everytime it expires.

 

He leaves 2 condoms in the wallet, and brings a few everytime we travel together.

 

It's just what he does. It's a habit. He keeps it around in case if I ever want us to use condoms, if I miss my pill, or if a lot of things.

 

He's not the only person that does that either. Every guy in his family, including his brother who's single, and his dad who's been married for 30+ years, do the same thing. They just like their fresh box of condoms.

[Miss Firecracker]

There is really nothing you can do but nag him about this. He has a condom. You know what they are for. Can you live with that?

 

When you went on this break, was it anything to do with trust?

 

I think if a man is carrying a condom around, he has an idea he will need it.

[StretchGee]

On the bright side, at least he is practicing safe sex.

 

I agree with the above: do you have any say on what he does on the 'break'. I'd be more concerned with the cause for the break and the possibility of a quick hook-up. Sounds like your relationship needs help, so if you do bring up the condom, keep it constructive or you'll be back on a break.

[Miss Firecracker]

I do think it's very strange he mentioned these condoms and gave someone else the blame for it. Sounds very fishy to me. Almost too coincidental.

[JadedStar]

There is really nothing you can do but nag him about this. He has a condom. You know what they are for. Can you live with that?

 

When you went on this break, was it anything to do with trust?

 

I think if a man is carrying a condom around, he has an idea he will need it.

 

I agree with Miss Firecracker.

 

If i found one in my husband's wallet, I'd be able to draw my own conclusions seeing that we don't use them.

[JadedStar]

My fiance and I don't use condoms, and we haven't used condoms for 3 years. However, he always keeps a fresh BOX of condoms, and replaces it everytime it expires.

 

He leaves 2 condoms in the wallet, and brings a few everytime we travel together.

 

It's just what he does. It's a habit. He keeps it around in case if I ever want us to use condoms, if I miss my pill, or if a lot of things.

 

He's not the only person that does that either. Every guy in his family, including his brother who's single, and his dad who's been married for 30+ years, do the same thing. They just like their fresh box of condoms.

 

That is EXTREMELY odd. If my husband did that i'd stay paranoid constantly.

In his wallet even? You say he keeps them around "in case you ever want to use condoms". How often has this even happened (that you wanted to use one)?

[wiser]

That is EXTREMELY odd. If my husband did that i'd stay paranoid constantly.

 

I dunno. I carry a ribbed condom in my wallet. I have done it for years. If I'm bored, such as in an airport terminal, I blow it up. Then I throw it up in the air for all the kids to play with. Fun!

[JadedStar]

I dunno. I carry a ribbed condom in my wallet. I have done it for years. If I'm bored, such as in an airport terminal, I blow it up. Then I throw it up in the air for all the kids to play with. Fun!

 

Well that's you Wiser. One might expect strange things in your wallet.

[RayKay]

Yeah I agree Jaded!

 

I can see the single brother doing it, but I cannot understand the purpose of keeping a constant box of fresh (as in replenishing them!) condoms around when you don't use them and are in a long term relationship where you don't use them.....

 

I can understand having them as backup in case you miss a pill, but a whole BOX? Why not just buy three-packs if you want to do that?

 

I really cannot understand carrying them in wallet though if you are in an LTR & don't use them....

 

 

As for the OP -

 

Yes, something is fishy about this particularly as he made a POINT to discuss the green condoms...even if they were his brothers, he made a point to take one....it is almost like however he used the story to cover for anything you might get suspicious of later...

 

 

The wallet is one of the worst places for condoms by the way - the heat and pressure from keeping the wallet in your pocket and the pressure of the wallet are a sure-fire way for the condom to lose effectiveness.

[JeckyllNHyde]

I dunno. I carry a ribbed condom in my wallet. I have done it for years. If I'm bored, such as in an airport terminal, I blow it up. Then I throw it up in the air for all the kids to play with. Fun!

 

LOL

Priceless..

I dunno.. I guess every girl knows her bf/husband. Some people just carry it around, and some don't. It's upto the OP to decide if her bf is to be trusted.

If I had a bf, and we don't use condoms.. yet he walked around with them, I might be concerned. first I couldn't but now I can see where you guys are coming from. But if he had a valid explanation, I would let it go.

Unless the OP lives with her bf.. then it WEIRD that he would walk around the streets with it. Instead of leaving it by the nightstand.

 

I would bring it up. In a non accusing way. Unless the OP went thru it "sneakily". The bf might get defensive that she was going thru his stuff.

[Miss Firecracker]

I agree with Miss Firecracker.

 

If i found one in my husband's wallet, I'd be able to draw my own conclusions seeing that we don't use them.

 

Since I cannot become pregnant we have stopped using condoms. If I saw one fall out of my husband's wallet I'd be gone. I didn't just fall off a turnip truck. And that condom is no guarantee he would have no STD's.

[StretchGee]

I am sooo mad right now. My boyfriend and I were on a sorta "break" for a week. Well, the break helped and we're "back together."

I don't even know why he would bring that up? THEN I find this GREEN DUREX CONDOM in HIS wallet.

 

...

 

OMG what do I do?!?!?!?!?!? Do I have a right to be mad ......... we were on a break ............ but he shouldn't have condoms???? And condom wrappers all over the motor home floor??? Did he have sex??? Should I ...... care? Or do I have no right to be upset?

 

I really need some help on what to do before he gets herE!!

 

imacarrie, I'm still not clear what a 'sorta break is', but after reading the above posts I'd say that if you typically do not use condoms, and you decide to have sex with your bf, I'd use one until you know where he has been and you can trust his answer.