Bit of a quandry

[Lugh]

six years together with plans of marrage, in march this year out of the blue she looks for space, breaks up while shes thinking, we keep in touch with me doing all the wrong things , crying begging etc and she puts me out of my misery in aug.

shes in a realitionship since sept and we kept in touch but it was doing me no good at all. i met her in oct and told her that i needed to go nc to sort myself out because i couldnt be her friend until i was ok with her dating others.

i still have feelings for her but dont think i could go back to her again, being honest she really hurt me and did a lot of damage.

i think that she is a kind and caring person and up to now i felt that i wanted to be part of her life, now im beginning to wonder if its worth it ,am i just setting myself up for another fall down the road.

i trusted her completely and she let me down and now im not sure that it would be good for me to have her in my life at all, im just wondering if anyone else had this problem and what did you do?

[sandyv]

Oh Lugh, I hear ya.....

 

I've been in an off/on again situation with my ex.... or whatever he is for 2 very long years.....

 

Although there hasn't been a third party involved for at least a year, he doesn't or can't be who I want or need him to be... I've told him so too, he doesn't care how I feel.

 

He expects to be around and for me to be happy about it, 2008 is going to bring some changes, no he doesn't know about these changes yet, but he soon will.... I won't be here for him anymore, time won't let me be any longer.

[ebizdiva]

I've been in similiar situation's in the past. Others have told me that I'm wrong but I believe completely in NC after breaking up with someone unless you have ties that bind. I look at it this way. If somebody hurt me, did me wrong and messed me over they are not my friend, so why pretend?

 

I also had another experience where a guy I was really interested in and who was interested in me moved 2 hours away. I went completely NC on him as well. I know, I know, I know it might seem mean but I feel like this, if we can't be lovers then we can't be friends. I want to be happy with somebody and go on with my life. I didn't want him whispering in my ear all the time telling me how he felt and that he missed me and that he wanted to be with me. I just told him nobody knows what the future holds, right now you're too much of a distraction for me and I'd rather not communicate as often. We can be the kind of friends that don't call or don't write, but if I should so happen to see you on the street I'd speak.

 

I say it's not what's right or wrong, but what's right or wrong for you. Follow your heart and trust your instincts.

 

Sharifah