I am not sure I get all those butterflies everyone has; do I end this?

[breakupmoveon]

Ok Ok forgive me, I know people will read this subject heading and be quick to answer "End it."

 

I want to get a bit more detailed before people give me any advice.

 

I was set up with said girl who lives 4 hours away. She is now home for the holidays (1/2 hour from me for 3 more weeks.)

At any rate, things have been progressing nicely with her. I have just gotten back from hanging out with her for 2 days at her college town. She is easy to please (Arby's for dinner one night, Taco Bell another night), very agreeable, laid back, easy going, not moody, and meets my threshold of dateable material (attraction-wise). We have gone to 2nd base (if it matters.)

 

I just got out of a tumultous LTR 4 months ago, I was dumped in a very cold hearted manner. I am mostly over this girl however, and would not condsider this new girl to be a potential rebound (I don't compare her to the ex.)

 

In conclusion, I must say that I do like this girl a lot, but I feel my gut is almost telling me (or I can't picture it) that I just don't see myself falling in love with her. Iv'e known her for 3-4 weeks now. I know its too early to be even thinking like that, and we haven't even had any talks regarding status quo/feelings, but I do not get a HUGE excitement or butterfly effect when I see her. I get some though. When I left and went back home, I didn't immediatley miss her. I was just like "eh ok, time to go home now." Its like I am more aloof to women/relationships now? Can someone help me out? I am not sure if its her, persay, or the fact I have newly formed scar tissue from my previous relationship. Sorry if this is confusing...

[breakupmoveon]

Basically, the point I am trying to make here is this....Does the women have to immediately ELECTRIFY you, or does it matter/can it be cultivated as time goes on?

[iambrazilian]

man, I don't know...I ask myself the same thing...

 

I have never been electrified by my girlfriend of one year and 3 months...I have never gotten butterflies...I dont even like kissing...what the hell am I sayin?

 

you get the point...

[greensleeves]

I think you gotta have the butterflies Having said that, they don't always come immediately and you could still be feeling the effects of you last relationship. Give it a bit of time, but not too long, you don't want to hurt this new girl.

[Celadon]

You said you don't immediately miss her. But do you miss her at all? How much? And is it in that "I miss HAVING someone around" sort of way, or I miss HER and her personality and sense of humor, etc.? IOW, *what* do you miss about her, and is it unique to HER? I think you can figure that out and move on from there.

 

Me, I was set up with a friend's friend recently and I'm wondering the same thing as you -- except that I've only been on two dates, and I'm already wondering if there's any point in going out on a third. I don't think about him at all. We have good, nice conversations, but nothing radically fun. In short, a bit boring. I'm not really sure if I should end it now...

[ghost69]

after 3-4 weeks? bro, if i don't have a spark after 2 dates, i'm outtie. no time wasted for me. plus, if you continue to see this girl, what if she develops great feelings for you and you have nada in return?