Embarassed about being single?

[Multivitamin]

I know many of you may think this is ridiculous or just daft, but I honestly get embarrassed when I have to tell people that Im single. Im 24 (female) and most of my friends are either seeing someone or engaged/married.

 

And i feel inadequate or something...i dont know whats wrong with me. Whenevr someone asks me "hey you seeing someone?" and i say " no" and then the're usually shocked or surprised...and they go "oh!..okay...hmm."

 

I keep telling myself theres nothing to have an insecurity about, but gah, i dunno.

 

Anybody else feel this way?

[Stambler]

I used to, but now I feel the opposite.

 

My ex wife is seriously dating someone after less than a year of moving out. I, and most of my aquiantances, view it as a weakness. She can't handle life on her own.

 

I, however, have been casually dating, but nothing serious and not tied down at all.

 

I feel the stronger person, happy with myself, able to do what I want, when I want, and spend what ever I want on it!

 

So, when your friends ask if you're seeing anyone say "Nope, but I just bought an awsome bike and I get out 4 times a week on it" (then impress tehm with some stats) - or whatever it is you're into!!!!

 

Ask them "So, what have you and [name] been up to? Watching movies and cuddling on the sofa - sounds exciting!"

[hopefulromantic79]

I do, I feel the same way. You aren't alone! I'm 28 (a bit older than you) and it seems all my friends from college, HS, etc. are married or in serious relationships. I even avoided some Christmas parties this year because I didn't have a date. You just have to come to terms with the fact that you haven't met the right person for you yet...it's just not your time. I wish I had spent more time on myself and not on dating the wrong men when I was your age....so please take that advice and the right one will come along eventually. You are still very young and you'll meet him...don't just date someone because you think that's what you are supposed to do. That is a waste of time! Enjoy this time of being single because you won't have it forever...and once you'll lose it, you'll think back to these days when your life wasn't so complicated .

[Stambler]

"Daft" is a British term for stupid. I know it well!

[enchiladaman]

I love being single and am proud to state that I am. And for the OP. There is nothing sexier to me than a single woman who is perfectly comfortable with that. I see SHE HAS A LIFE not NO ONE WANTS HER.

 

Once people get to know me they realize that I'm not single because I'm undesirable. I'm single because I refuse to settle in life for anything short of my soul mate.

 

I have already seen a few of my friends who married are starting to be unhappy in their marriage and I feel smarter for not getting into something I wasn't 100% sure about or didn't give the relationship enough time to see things at face value.

 

Embrace it. You aren't tied down to anyone so go out there and create a custom made life for you and only you!

 

And as for holiday parties...you have it all WRONG. This is your opportunity to ask that attractive someone in your life to go with you as your date no strings attached. They get a nice night with free booze and food, and you get to show up with some nice arm candy. It might even be a chance to get to know that person better and it may turn into something.

 

No worries.

[flower99]

There is nothing sexier to me than a single woman who is perfectly comfortable with that.

 

Once people get to know me they realize that I'm not single because I'm undesirable. I'm single because I refuse to settle in life for anything short of my soul mate.

 

 

I couldn't agree with you more!!!

[MissIndigo]

I get that response some particularly from older people, sometimes friends of my parents. In the conservative southern US where I grew up it seemed the norm was to marry straight out of university or within 5 years at least, and indeed, many of my friends were. Some of the attitiude, particularly from older friends of my parents, is just a reflection of the values and standards within which they were raised in their time. Nothing wrong with it, but it sure can make me want to roll my eyes sometimes when they ask me why a successful, smart girl like me hasn't been taken by someone yet!

 

I've probably been able to do much of what I have because I wasn't attached!

 

I recently started dating someone new, and while I enjoy spending time with him greatly, it doesn't take up all of me. One of the things he likes about me is my ability to be happy with the world I've created for myself! And of course I'm happy to share some of that with him, but neither of us consume the other.

 

As for something to say to people if they bug you about why you're still single, just tell them, "I'm just lucky, I guess!" and smile. Takes people aback everytime. They don't quite know how to react, which I find kind of humorous.

[hosswhispra]

I will acknowledge that it is a "couple's world" out there.

 

However, I don't feel embarrassed that I'm single. I do feel that I don't fit in at times- i.e. those times when you go to parties/formal functions and other attendees have dates or partners or whatever. I see a lot of people in their 20's-30's partnered up at events etc.

 

Interestingly, I have noticed that there appears to be a second wave of singlehood when people reach their 40's-50's and are single because they are divorced or thinking about getting a divorce. Anyone else notice that?

[enchiladaman]

I will acknowledge that it is a "couple's world" out there.

 

However, I don't feel embarrassed that I'm single. I do feel that I don't fit in at times- i.e. those times when you go to parties/formal functions and other attendees have dates or partners or whatever. I see a lot of people in their 20's-30's partnered up at events etc.

 

Interestingly, I have noticed that there appears to be a second wave of singlehood when people reach their 40's-50's and are single because they are divorced or thinking about getting a divorce. Anyone else notice that?

 

I see it as I approach my late 20's and 30's. I think a lot of people are coming out of their 7 year itch marriages. They married the guy they dated in college - they grew apart and it resulted in a complete disaster so now they are more mature and looking for the real thing. Most of the time it is a blessing for both parties involved. Now they can go out and find someone that they are truly compatible with. Not just marry because they were the consistent person in their lives during college and are now going to get married because it seems like the thing to do.

 

Of course, it is always unfortunate when children are involved. Hopefully they don't try to remedy their failing marriage with a few children...but I've noticed that I am actually quite warm to the idea of entering into a relationship with a single mother who has her head on straight. Probably could even teach me a thing or two.

[hosswhispra]

but I've noticed that I am actually quite warm to the idea of entering into a relationship with a single mother who has her head on straight. Probably could even teach me a thing or two.

 

I also wouldn't mind entering into a relationship with a single father who has his head on straight.

[someguy88]

Here's a tip. When someone asks if you're seeing anyone then just say "no, but I'm kickin' butt at work" or something like that. If you change the subject quick enough you won't get the "awww, why are you single.." stuff.

[Stambler]

I also wouldn't mind entering into a relationship with a single father who has his head on straight.

 

 

I'm here, I'm here Hoss!

[Clementine orange]

Interestingly, I have noticed that there appears to be a second wave of singlehood when people reach their 40's-50's and are single because they are divorced or thinking about getting a divorce. Anyone else notice that?

 

I have noticed that actually. It's rather a relief. I agree it is a little frustrating at times to be a single in a couples world. I hate filling out forms where you have to check off one of the following

 

• married
  
• divorced
  
• single
  
• loser
  

[Clementine orange]

I wouldn't mind meeting anyone with their head screwed on straight. Oh, and isn't already with someone (that's happened too)

[ilovepoemsalot]

I've never understood this, because everyone becomes single at some point in their life, it's not like once everyone reaches a certain age, say 20, that they meet someone and then they're together for the rest of their life. People split up and become single all the time.

 

If people knew you were always single, for like several years and you'd never even had any flings, then I'd be able to understand why it'd be embarrassing.

[Desiderata]

I've never actually had to tell someone "Yes I'm single" but if I did I don't see it as being something that I should be ashamed about. I feel like all around me there are people together with someone but the fact that I am happy and single just makes me feel better than them sometimes. I don't have to feel that way and perhaps sometimes I shouldn't, but it just shows that I can be like that - I don't have to be with someone to be happy.

 

It's easy at my school to be like "Yeah I'm single" since it's an all-girls school and if I want to meet guys I have to go off campus. But I would hate for people to make "being single" out to be bad. I'm independent, healing from the breakup six months ago and okay with where I am.

[hosswhispra]

I'm here, I'm here Hoss!

 

I'm too boring for you Cam

[hosswhispra]

I have noticed that actually. It's rather a relief. I agree it is a little frustrating at times to be a single in a couples world. I hate filling out forms where you have to check off one of the following

 

• married
  
• divorced
  
• single
  
• loser
  

 

Clem oh romantic Clem (I never forgot that girl with the flower in the lobby story)---I am not a fan of those forms either!

[Psylocke]

Single here and with the holidays coming up this makes it a big pain in the buns. I see certain family members only during the Christmas season and they are always stunned to hear I'm single. Sure I was engaged at one point in my life, by why settle and end up being unhappy and the go through divorce and all those bills. I am comfortable with myself, so why can't everyone else be the same?

 

I'm single, so p... off. When I find the right guy you'll be the last to know

[Diggitydave]

Im 29 and single, yeah, deep down i wish i had someone, but i've been through enough failed relationships to know at this point i'd better do things right