She apologized, what should I do?

[Suesser Tod]

Well, my GF and I broke up like one month ago. At first I broke up with her, then I tried to get her back, but she refused.

 

I tried to remain friends with her to show her that things could be different but that only ended up hurting way more than the actual breakup.

 

Also, she showed no interest on trying to get back, I think she thought I was the bad guy in the story.

 

 

But well, two days ago she sent me an e-mail, where she finally apologized for not talking to me. Basically the problem was that she kept everything to herself, dind't told me how she felt, and ended up resenting a lot of stuff.

 

Now she apologized for that.

 

 

I haven't replied to her e-mail. After we broke up I told her that I had no resentment and that I had forgiven her for her mistakes (eventhough back then she thought she hadn't done anything wrong). So I think maybe she knows that I forgave her for that a long time ago, or shoudl I let her know that I'm accepting her apology?

 

In her e-mail there is nothing that could lead me to think that she misses me or that she wants to get back together, it's quite straightforward, just an apology. But it's quite clear that she misses me, if she didn't missed me, or she didn't cared about me, she wouldn't have wrote that e-mail, right?

 

We haven't talked since Dec. 11th, when I went to her house to give her back the invitation for her graduation party. That talk was quite fun, eventhough she cried when I gave her the ticket.

 

 

Maybe that's her way of initiating contact? Should I contact her or just forget about it?

[AwdreeHpburn]

Hey Susser - I guess its hard to tell. Sounds to me like you've got a pretty good read on the whole thing. I think if you acted in the way that you felt was right, it would turn out ok.

 

Guess what I mean is, if you decide its better to just leave it alone, its prolly cos something is making you feel that way.

 

If you think you should at least accept her apology, thus allowing her attempt at initiating contact to work, I have a feeling it would be because there's something you know or feel that tells you it would be OK to.

 

I think you should go with your gut on this one is what I'm trying to say.....

[kevinm]

She's just trying to ease her own guilt and anxiety by apologizing. Let it go and move on to someone who appreciates you. How old is she? You're 29 and going to a graduation party????

 

-Kevin

[Entropy Smith]

If you 2 can communicate like you did in this latest email volley you can make it work. There should be one rule for this relationship...if you can communicate there is no problem. I'd say its up to you but if you still want her you could get her back. If you waited until AFTER the holidays it would be a slam dunk or she will initiate it first before the holidays.

[1maineac]

Since you're not quite sure what her intentions are-and you seem to want for things to be "okay"

 

maybe it would be a good idea to be just as straight forward with a "thank you for your apology" email back.

 

In all probability she likely has doubts, possibly regrets, about her previous actions. But, since you don't know what her motive is and one of her problems is not expressing her emotions..tread softly & quietly, being evasive intentionally to try to get her to express herself.

 

It's difficult to change an individual's lifelong ways. If she wants to try again with you she will make an effort to , perhaps eventually, make an obvious overture. If that's what you need..be sure to wait until you get it before you expose yourself any further

[Suesser Tod]

Well, I called her yesterday night. It was a really nice and fun conversation, she was surprised about the fact that I called her, then I went on to tell her what I've done in the last days (currently I'm not in my home country, I'm working on a different country for a week) and, well, it was just fun.

 

Then I told her that I was calling her because I could not reply to her e-mail, expained her that I had no regrets and that I had apologized her for her mistakes a long time ago. She cried when I told her that.

 

As she cried, well, I changed the subject and continued to make her laugh.

 

 

That was an hour long conversation, when I told her I had to go, she said "thanks for calling, it was fun, see you soon". Well, I think she has already thought about what happened and might be considering getting back together, she even used my pet name a couple times in the conversaiton, something she refused to do two weeks ago.

 

I'll send her an SMS to let her know that I'm back once I get to my home country, from there the ball is on her court. I'm not going to get my hopes high nor am I going to push anything. I still have a lot of work to do on myself, so the slower we take this, the better. I don't want things to happen real quick and fall back into the same doomed relationship.

[Suesser Tod]

Any thoughts on this?