is this a case of Maddonna/ Complex or what is it??

[iambrazilian]

I don't know who has more issues in the field of relationships, me or my friend. He does not feel comfortable discussing things online, even though I explained what a forum is, so I am doing it for him.

 

From what he tells me:

 

He and his girlfriend are very close I guess, and they have those cute little things that every couple has. Their cute thing is sometimes to ( have him "nurse" on her. Of course, not really nurse since she is not pregnant or a mother, but he will lay by her side, nipple in mouth, and act like it. She likes it because she is a very nurturing person, and thinks its adorable. Then he talks in kiddie talk, calls her "momma" a couple of times, they have fun, and giggle at how stupid they're being.

 

 

He grew up with only his mother, his father being totally absent in childhood. He was surrounded by women, his aunts, and cousins.

 

Apart from this childlike behavior, somewhat funny and cute I guess, he has thought about having this girl as his GIRLFRIEND and sometime in the future, his wife. They are serious then.

 

He confessed in me that he has thought of having her as his loved one, his darling, his soulmate. BUT, he will be doing other girls on the side for sexual gratification. He thinks she could go without sex for a while, and so that he is not frustrated, he will get it from other girls. In his own words, "I will leave the sex to the sluts, and I will have no feelings for them anyways, but the one I will love and have all feelings to is her"

 

Weird?

 

Apparently he is not the only one. Ohter guys I have spoken to have said something along the same line, have sex on the side, but make it so meaningless that, in their minds, it does not take away from the relationship with the loved one.

[melrich]

Yes it sounds like Madonna complex to me.

[annie24]

yeah, that is pretty odd. i've never had a guy do that to me and call me mamma. that's pretty odd. i think i'd get up and put my clothes on at that point. and i think it's pretty strange that he's separating the wife/partner thing from the sex thing, especially since you guys are so young. i think of that scene in "analyze this" where billy crystal asks deniro why he doesn't have sex with his wife - and he responds, 'that's the mouth that kisses my kids goodnight!'

[JadedStar]

I think he sees her as a mother all the way around and that is why he wants sex from other women more than her.

 

Too creepy for my tastes. I'm with Annie, i'd put my clothes on and say see ya.

[JeckyllNHyde]

I guess he wants a mother.. I don't know what Madonna complex is, but he found someone who will nurture him and allow him to suck on her nipple, etc. He can't do this with his real mom since that's not really "right" either.

So he wants her to be his "mother".

And he wants to have girls he can have sex with.

I think if he has sex with her, it would be weird too. B/c since he treats her as his mother, and he as a kid... it would be like having sex with his mom. Figuratively speaking.

 

I have heard of people saying: "in the end guys just want to date their mother... someone who will cook, clean and take care of them." But this takes it to another level.

[JadedStar]

I always thought the Madonna/Wh0re cmoplex was a man who wants a wife to be there for him and keep her pure, on a pedestal, while chasing after what he deems "cheap" women for thrills. Maybe i am wrong on what it means. In that case I don't think this is a madonna complex because he doesn't just see her as pure and on a pedestal he sees her as mommy plain and simple...

 

Maybe my definition is askew.

[someguy88]

Wow! This seems really creepy to me. I don't think I know a single woman that would accept a guy that only sucks on her boob...