buckdawg Posted December 20, 2007 Share Posted December 20, 2007 Why is it you're grooving along thinking everything's getting better then all of a sudden, out of the blue, you start to feel that hopeless desperation again? I joined a gym, going out tomorrow have kept myself active YET I'm not ignoring my feelings, i acknowledge them, i don't bury them. it seems when i just start to get moving forward something yanks me back. what is that about? grrrrr and it's not her either, it's me. it's like i'm the one holding the yo yo string and screwing with my mind. ahhh well...i'll get through this just like i've done before but it's frustrating. Link to comment
RayKay Posted December 20, 2007 Share Posted December 20, 2007 Well, in my own personal experience...that is just part of the process. I compare it to investing in mutual funds....invest and your funds are going to go up, down, and all around...but in the end, over the long term, you are going to come out on top and have growth. Fortunately, in healing the heart this takes much less time than the usual 40 years until retirement. Don't worry in other words, it is NOT a step back at all, and you have not FALLEN back.....you just did not move forward as much today Link to comment
buckdawg Posted December 20, 2007 Author Share Posted December 20, 2007 Yeah I agree...it's like you are doing so well and then you're thinking about it all over again. But I think it's sometimes good to do so because surely when you've thought about it enough you can't think about it anymore! There has to come a time when you just give up thinking the same thoughts over and over and going round in circles. It is like some insane yo-yo! Far better in my opinion to not bury your feelings but feel them...only then can you heal and move forward. Love Lady D x thank you. i've actually heard of a therapy style that encourages you to focus so much on a situation that causes you great angst until you get to the point where you're fed up or bored with thinking about it. Well, in my own personal experience...that is just part of the process. I compare it to investing in mutual funds....invest and your funds are going to go up, down, and all around...but in the end, over the long term, you are going to come out on top and have growth. Fortunately, in healing the heart this takes much less time than the usual 40 years until retirement. Don't worry in other words, it is NOT a step back at all, and you have not FALLEN back.....you just did not move forward as much today this is a very good analogy. thank you Link to comment
sandyv Posted December 20, 2007 Share Posted December 20, 2007 Why is it you're grooving along thinking everything's getting better then all of a sudden, out of the blue, you start to feel that hopeless desperation again? I joined a gym, going out tomorrow have kept myself active YET I'm not ignoring my feelings, i acknowledge them, i don't bury them. it seems when i just start to get moving forward something yanks me back. what is that about? grrrrr and it's not her either, it's me. it's like i'm the one holding the yo yo string and screwing with my mind. ahhh well...i'll get through this just like i've done before but it's frustrating. Oh I hear you too Buckdawg..... I feel with myself its been 2 steps ahead, 10 backwards at times.... and its so frustrating.... And the thing is, little triggers set you back too, and you realize there are days that you seem to make no progress at all. I guess all we can do is keep trudging ahead.... trying to avoid looking back... not easy, I know. Sandy Link to comment
MythicDusk Posted December 20, 2007 Share Posted December 20, 2007 I've definitely been there. All I can say is what sandyv said, "all we can do is keep trudging ahead...." Thats what I did, it seemed to work for me... My mind eventually moved to other things, but it took a long time and I certainly didn't have a way to deal with it. Link to comment
shell80 Posted December 21, 2007 Share Posted December 21, 2007 It is like a dance really....a couple of steps forward, a couple of steps back, some spins, twirls and falls. But in the end you get through it, take a bow and have a good laugh about it all later.... Link to comment
thinkstoohard Posted December 21, 2007 Share Posted December 21, 2007 BD, I feel the exact same way today. I am not sure what it is. Link to comment
sandyv Posted December 21, 2007 Share Posted December 21, 2007 It is like a dance really....a couple of steps forward, a couple of steps back, some spins, twirls and falls. But in the end you get through it, take a bow and have a good laugh about it all later.... Shell.... Very well said, and yep, thats a very good analogy! Link to comment
shell80 Posted December 21, 2007 Share Posted December 21, 2007 Thanks Sandy... If I ever have to go thru another breakup, I will aim to do a smooth waltz rather than an awkward macarana type dance! Link to comment
sandyv Posted December 21, 2007 Share Posted December 21, 2007 Yep, anything beats a mosh-pit style relationship, thats for sure..... Link to comment
-BK- Posted December 21, 2007 Share Posted December 21, 2007 Thanks Sandy... If I ever have to go thru another breakup, I will aim to do a smooth waltz rather than an awkward macarana type dance! I just seem to be doing the Pee Wee Herman. Link to comment
need2bme Posted December 21, 2007 Share Posted December 21, 2007 bd: I was about to logon and post something similar. I was actually just in the bathroom AT WORK and tearing up (I went in first and THEN it hit me ). I just was thinking how nice ya have it and then ya don't, as far as relationships go. I always end up feeling sorry for myself and start to blame myself. I cannot control her, anymore than I can the man in the moon (he is there, right?) and yet, I try to sort it all out in my head. How can I sort her out, when I don't know her anymore? I can't... The last 3 years have been crap, during the holidays. 3 years ago, my longterm ex, actually forgot me and did nothing for Christmas, but DID do something for everyone else that was at our place AND had no problems opening up her gifts, then after a few more months, she wanted out. 2 years ago, the girl I was seeing at the time, became my ex, did not remember my birthday anyway and I was still sad about the longterm ex. This year, well, we all know I still have an ex and I thought this one would not be an ex. Sure, I know I need to calm down more times than not, but damnit I try to make these things work. I know that there are people who have it harder than me. (I read an article about a woman who is surviving on $12,000.00/yr, and helps her daughter, tithes, saves and goes to school. She states she is doing this, because she knows that after she gets her degree, things will be better). Anyway, it just seems to go up and down....up and down... Link to comment
bridgid8 Posted December 21, 2007 Share Posted December 21, 2007 i've actually heard of a therapy style that encourages you to focus so much on a situation that causes you great angst until you get to the point where you're fed up or bored with thinking about it. This rings true, I am so sick of thinking about him, us. I do get to the point some days that I feel like I have had enough, but the thoughts just seep back in. I just hope that getting it all out now will pay off in the end. Link to comment
buckdawg Posted December 21, 2007 Author Share Posted December 21, 2007 This rings true, I am so sick of thinking about him, us. I do get to the point some days that I feel like I have had enough, but the thoughts just seep back in. I just hope that getting it all out now will pay off in the end. i'm not too far behind you lol Link to comment
bridgid8 Posted December 21, 2007 Share Posted December 21, 2007 i'm not too far behind you lol The next big milestone: being utterly sick of yourself. My favorite step in healing!! Link to comment
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