"Friend" stole him behind my back

[Lady Luck]

About 3, maybe 4ish years ago, I dated this guy. We broke up about two weeks later, and I began dating someone else. I dated the new one for about 3 years. We ended up breaking up about 7 months ago, so he is completely out of the picture, we don't speak anymore either. Over the summer, my ex from four (?) years ago began really bonding again. We would talk for hours on the phone, usually until around 2am. We went to the beach together, hung out at eachothers houses, went shopping, everything. One night we ended up kissing eachother, not just a peck either, lol. Then one night I was at dinner with my friend Michelle, and all of a sudden she tells me my other "friend" Brittany and my ex are interested in each other. Out of nowhere they start dating. The thing is, I realized I love my ex. Yes, we only dated for two weeks. But in those four years, our friendship grew into something much more. I feel that I needed to mature more in order to appreciate what was right in front of me. I've told him how I feel, and he tells me it took four years for him to get over me. But then he sends me mixed signals saying things like "I loved you so much," and "maybe we can get back together if me and Brittany break up," and "I hope things work out with me and Brittany, I guess.." It just confuses me so much. And when he looks at me, It's as if he's staring into my soul, completely understanding me. I know we are meant to be together, I don't know for how long, but I KNOW we are meant for each other. I just can't figure out how to get him back. I mean the girl he is dating suffers from multiple personality disorder. She makes up fake personalities, and creates drama for both myself and him, as well as many others. Then she apologizes on her alter persona's behalf, and expects everything to be fine. Why would he want to date someone like that??? And how come if he "loved me so much" for FOUR years he wouldn't want to be with me now? How come just when I get over my ex of three years, and tell him how I feel it's like the sides have switched? I'm being honest when I tell you, I love him. Lately, I can't look at him without my eyes watering. I looked at him the other day, my cheek was wet from crying (no he didn't see me actually crying, I was looking the other way while he talked to a friend), and he wiped my cheek. He gave me this look like he cared about me just as much as I cared about him. I'm becoming so depressed from this. He's the last thing I think about before I go to bed, he's always on my mind. I really want to be with him again. I just want to know how I can get him back, or if I should even bother trying. I mean, if he is truly happy with his current girlfriend, then I'll be happy for him. His happiness is the most important thing to me, screw thinking about myself. But I just feel like I waited too long, and I'm trying desperately to fix it. please help

[thouse]

I know you may not want to hear this but I would let his relationship with this other girl run its course without any interference from you. They may not stay together who knows but I would definitely not interfere.

[EQD]

yeah.. i find it silly that after 3 years of dating some other guy after only TWO weeks of you and the ex being split that you are now crying about another girl "stealing" him from you.. 3 or 4 years later...

?

 

Life is silly, its bent on sticking you in the exact place that your ex was in.. its done this to me alot personally.. strange times.

Let them run their course, back off and go find your own man.

[lightandmagic]

I know you may not want to hear this but I would let his relationship with this other girl run its course without any interference from you. They may not stay together who knows but I would definitely not interfere.

 

i agree with this. if you interfere, it'll probably push them closer together.

[Lady Luck]

I didn't say I only wanted him back when I found out about them dating.

 

I said it happened over the summer, way before that. They began dating in october.. so it's not one of those cases where I only want him to prove my "dominance" or something.

 

and i don't get why i should "find my own" considering we were so close to being together again over the summer. she interfered and altered his path, so how is it me intruding? im not going to try and ruin their relationship, i already said if hes happy then thats good enough for me.

[thouse]

I didn't say I only wanted him back when I found out about them dating.

 

I said it happened over the summer, way before that. They began dating in october.. so it's not one of those cases where I only want him to prove my "dominance" or something.

 

and i don't get why i should "find my own" considering we were so close to being together again over the summer. she interfered and altered his path, so how is it me intruding? im not going to try and ruin their relationship, i already said if hes happy then thats good enough for me.

I understand what you are saying, but from experince I found too let things run there course, if you interfere it could have the opposite result you were looking for it could actually push them together. You don't want to alter the outcome.

[EQD]

I didn't say I only wanted him back when I found out about them dating.

 

I said it happened over the summer, way before that. They began dating in october.. so it's not one of those cases where I only want him to prove my "dominance" or something.

 

and i don't get why i should "find my own" considering we were so close to being together again over the summer. she interfered and altered his path, so how is it me intruding? im not going to try and ruin their relationship, i already said if hes happy then thats good enough for me.

 

 

He has weighed his options and chose to persue this other girl and not you. That makes you the third wheel or intruder if you will.

[HappyAsALark]

Maybe he waited around on your for 4 years and got tired of waiting. He may be telling you a lot of this stuff as to not hurt your feelings and really does have a strong feeling for this other girl. And if you have not confided in this other girl that you like this guy then to me he was fair game. You need to move on. He chose her over you.

[Lady Luck]

I did tell her. Which makes it suck even more. And the thing is, I don't even want to go on a date with any one else. People have asked me out recently, and I just say no. I want him. And I'm willing to wait for him.

[thouse]

I did tell her. Which makes it suck even more. And the thing is, I don't even want to go on a date with any one else. People have asked me out recently, and I just say no. I want him. And I'm willing to wait for him.

The longer you wait around for something to happen the longer it takes. I say try to enjoy your life it is definitely precious but also too short.

[ladyblue07]

Sorry to hear that this happened. I know it really hurts when you take a while to realize your feelings for someone and then something like this happens.

My advice would be to try to keep your distance from the two of them UNTIL you hear that they have broken up.

In a way, it's good that he is not lettign you think he still is interested in you at this point of things. Would you want to be with a guy who would cheat on his girlfriend? No.

So let their relationship play out. If she is really a drama queen then he'll get tired of that and dump her soon enough.

Even if they're both good people it probably won't last, actually, just because at your age (I saw from one of your other posts that you are in high school right?) the majority of relationships are not permanent.

But for now, act as if he is gone for good and try to focus on other people. Give other guys a chance even if you aren't interested right off the bat. You never know when someone else might catch your eye. As you learned from this incident, attraction and a spark can take time to form!

Good luck.