A question on STDs...herpes in particular.

[lostcat]

Earlier I posted about a friend who had contracted herpes. Well, she got her test results back, confirming that she had HSV2. It was a culture from the blister. Her partner, on the other hand, is testing negative for both HSV1 and HSV2, and neither of his 2 ex-partners have it.

She's turned into a puddle of goo, thinking that he's thinking she cheated on him, when he's the only one she's ever had sexual contact with.

Now, I know she really needs to speak to a doctor, to figure out how she could of got it, but she's not going to have that opportunity until next week. Does anyone here have any idea? She's got me a bit freaked as well, to be honest...

[Kiwi_Sweet]

That's sad She could've contracted it from anyone.

[lostcat]

That's sad She could've contracted it from anyone. If she uses public bathrooms, viruses live on surfaces for 7 days.

 

O.o

Really? I thought that was a myth...I mean, herpes doesn't even live on towels for very long...like, 2 hours max, I think...REALLY?!

 

I mean, who doesn't do the hover thing, but still, when you're sure the bathroom has been recently cleaned, and you're first to use it, it's nice to sit properly...

[Kiwi_Sweet]

I dunno how the herpes virus runs its course, but I know a little bit about HIV. HIV can go undetected when a test is ran. To test for HIV--doctors use the ELISA test. This test basically looks for certain antibodies in the blood that are active in the blood due to HIV. Maybe his test came back false positive?

 

Most people who end up with STD's and such aren't very honest about there sexual past, if they're permiscious. Are you sure she's telling the truth?

[Kiwi_Sweet]

O.o

Really? I thought that was a myth...I mean, herpes doesn't even live on towels for very long...like, 2 hours max, I think...REALLY?!

 

I mean, who doesn't do the hover thing, but still, when you're sure the bathroom has been recently cleaned, and you're first to use it, it's nice to sit properly...

 

I know the janitor in my building, and let me tell you. She doesn't thoroghly clean those bathrooms like she should. shh

[Kiwi_Sweet]

Are you sure you friend isn't fibbing? Because she need to report anyone she sleeps with to her local health department, to prevent future infections of other people.

[rocio]

wait, she's with a guy who has 2 other partners?

[Kiwi_Sweet]

If you are her roomy, than you should really take the extra precautions to protect yourself too.

[Kiwi_Sweet]

wait, she's with a guy who has 2 other partners?

 

I just know noticed she mentioned that. Something seems awfully strange. He's sleeping with two people already? Those girls could each have like two partners too. So that means that your roomy slept with more people, but techincally only had sexual relations with one person. But still caught what the rest passed down. That seems really gross, you see why people should know more about STDs and sex in general.

[lostcat]

wait, she's with a guy who has 2 other partners?

 

Now edited. Exes from a sexual relationship.

 

And, yeah, she's not lying.

How do I know? She came to me, asking about the act. As in, hi, roomie, stutter, blush, look I have a dumb question, how do you put on a condom, does it hurt, how do I make him feel good...I've become her sexual confidant as her friends are very puritanical.

 

ETA: BTW, during that talk, I mentioned various sexual acts that were a bit exotic, to give her some idea of the strangeness that comes into play when the only limits are what feels good. Her reaction to a threesome? "But...isn't that cheating?"

I know her BF, and his best friend. These two men tell each other everything, including when one is taking a crap, and who's getting what, when. I mean, these two have been friends since they were in diapers! His best friend doesn't believe think the bf has the capability to cheat...there was an amusing story about having to call the GF outside to breakup with her before kissing a girl in Spin the Bottle...

[Kiwi_Sweet]

Do yourself a favor and educate yourself on this, you'll need it, because you're living with someone who has it. It would be the smartest thing for you to do.

 

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[Kiwi_Sweet]

but that doesn't mean that after you told her that she didn't go out and sleep with more than one person.

[Kiwi_Sweet]

If she has type 2, type 2 is only sexually transmitted. If he doesn't have it, then she's not being honest, because otherwise it would be impossible for her to have type 2 without being sexually active with someone else.

[Shiranai]

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It seems like type 2 is nearly impossible to get without having sex or making out.

[lostcat]

Do yourself a favor and educate yourself on this, you'll need it, because you're living with someone who has it. It would be the smartest thing for you to do.

 

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...I have a friend. Who is very...disgusting when it comes to hygiene. Who I know has herpes. Who has showered in our shower...

Bloody place of Dante's dreams...

I wouldn't put it past her to have used either of our razors...

[lostcat]

Does anyone else know of any possible ways?

 

And I trust my roomie. Like, she's been embrassingly honest and upfront for the last 6 months. She doesn't lie to protect herself from hard punishments or truths.

 

An example of this? She actually admits to wishing she had been more active when it comes to sex and dating, and she says she would of been more likely to "give it up", to put it crudely, had she known her future.

She knew what safer sex was before she talked to me. Edvidently her mother was very through on that point; she just didn't know about the act. She asked me what cum looked like! She's too...upfront to not have let someone know about a second partner. She and her boyfriend have been building up to the act in a monogamous relationship for a year in two weeks. She's still technically a virgin! They've both only done oral...

Trust me on this...single partner. She isn't lying.

[jeanniemay]

I am assuming you are talking about genital herpes here, because although HSV2 usually causes genital herpes, you can also get it orally.

 

You said her boyfriend tested negative for both types of herpes - which type of test did he have? I don't imagine it would have been a swab test as he has no symptoms, so it was most likely a blood test. Blood tests can show false negatives if there isn't enough HSV antibodies present at the time of the test.

 

He says both his ex-girlfriends don't have it - how does he know? Have they been tested?

 

Best thing she can do right now is get educated about herpes.

 

Here's a couple of good links:

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[ernurse75]

By the way, you can have herpes 2 for many years and not even know it. Some people have occasional breakouts or even never have a breakout. The virus is shed through the skin. I really haven't heard of people contracting this disease from a toilet seat. Possible but highly unlikely. She could have been carrying it for years and suddenly ....an outbreak. You would be surprised to know that almost 1/3 of our sexually active population carry this or some other STD. Many are asymptomatic in women.

[Mythical_Suicide]

You cannot catch Herpes from a toilet seat!!!!!

 

 

The virus does not live outside your body for very long , do you really expect the virus to survive on a cold , Hard surface? I dont think so!

 

The virus is spread by skin to skin contact.

 

Just because the bf doesn't have any symptoms does not mean he doesn't have the virus. He could have simple had a small coldsore and transmitted the virus, it's not that hard and most people has some form of the virus in their lifetime.

[Hope75]

That's sad She could've contracted it from anyone. If she uses public bathrooms, viruses live on surfaces for 7 days.

 

This is not true. The herpes virus does not live on inanimate surfaces. I wish that people would do their research before posting advice so that inaccurate information like this was not spread around.

 

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If your partner has only just been diagnosed as having genital herpes, this does not necessarily mean that he or she has been unfaithful to you, or sexually promiscuous in the past.

 

Your partner may have caught genital herpes from you. It is possible that you carry the virus without knowing that you have it, since up to 80% of people, who are infected with HSV-2, show no signs of the infection. So it is very easy for you to have unwittingly transmitted the infection to your partner.

 

The symptoms of the infection vary greatly between individuals - it might be totally unnoticeable in you, but cause severe blistering in your partner.

 

Since the genital herpes virus can be transmitted through oral sex as well as vaginal sex, it is also possible that he or she caught the virus from a cold sore on your mouth or face. Remember, it is possible you can pass the virus on even if you didn't have a cold sore present at the time of contact.

 

Alternatively, your partner may have contracted the virus from a previous sexual partner, perhaps even several years ago. The virus can remain inactive in the body for long periods, so this may be the first time it has caused symptoms.

 

To the OP- the above links should help you understand how herpes is transmitted- from direct skin to skin contact, or from direct transmission from mother to infant during childbirth.

 

(Kissing, oral sex, anal or vaginal intercourse, even genital to genital contact without penetration can transmit the virus- has your friend done any of these things with anyone else before her current partner?)

 

Interestingly enough, some people are asymptomatic 'shedders' who can pass the virus without showing any symptoms. Herpes testing is not always conclusive unless there are active lesions. Blood tests (which may be done on someone who does not have any active lesions) can be incorrect, although the most common error is a false positive. The most accurate diagnostic test right now is by culturing an active lesion.

 

Here is some information about blood testing for Herpes:

 

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There is a possibility that your friend's partner has the virus but his immune system has been able to keep it somewhat suppressed so he has not had an obviously diagnostic outbreak (aka a milder outbreak than someone else, although typically the first outbreak is the worst since your body has not yet produced antibodies to the virus), but that does not mean he cannot pass on the virus to someone else.

 

Did your friend's boyfriend have herpes testing done before or after your friend had an outbreak? Does he have paperwork to back that up?

[Hope75]

By the way, you can have herpes 2 for many years and not even know it. Some people have occasional breakouts or even never have a breakout. The virus is shed through the skin. I really haven't heard of people contracting this disease from a toilet seat. Possible but highly unlikely. She could have been carrying it for years and suddenly ....an outbreak. You would be surprised to know that almost 1/3 of our sexually active population carry this or some other STD. Many are asymptomatic in women.

 

I read that up to 80% of people who carry the herpes virus show no signs or symptoms.

 

Another good reason for having protected sex and knowing your partner well before doings so.

[Kiwi_Sweet]

OK...sorry..I was thinking about something else. But after I went to link removed and read on it, I learned about it. But, there are some viruses that DO live on fomites, hence children getting sitting.

 

SORRY OP for the inaccurate info, I'll probably delete that post.

[Kiwi_Sweet]

WAIT a minute. LOSTCAT!! DID you get checked for herpes?? She LIVES with you. I don't mean to scare you, but is there anyway she contracted it from you? You said that you were the one who taught her how to put a condom on, and etc, etc. So you DO have experience. Are you sure YOU DON"T have it, but you just haven't had any outbreaks yet????

[lostcat]

On her boyfriend, he's the only one who's had sexual contact with more than one person-and they only count 2. The mother of his child, girlfriend of 5 years, and his first girlfriend, his daughter's godmother. They both have had STD tests after being with him, and yes, they have paperwork that backs it up. Herpes was included.

For him, he had an STD test when they first considered getting intimate. It did not include testing for HSV 1 or 2. When she first showed symptoms, she asked him to get tested, so he could maybe see how long it had been in his system. He got tested, has shown us the paperwork, and doesn't even have HSV1, according to the antibodies in his blood. He had asked both of his exes to be safe, and neither have ever tested positive for HSV2...

I know all 3 had a blood test done, but none of the numbers were considered ambiguous.

I've asked her this morning again about her level of sexual experience. She's had one other kiss that I wouldn't count as a kiss; the guy touched lips with her and she pulled away.

Ack! This is a bit frustrating....Can you carry the virus and test negative for it? He has ridiculously low levels for it to be a hidden positive: HSV-2 aB IgG range is 0.05H

 

Can you tell that both she and I are still very on edge? ;-)

Thank you for clearing up the toliet question-I thought something was odd about that.

 

eta: yet another grammar issue fixed

[lostcat]

Yes, I've also had a Herpes Select test.

Negative for HSV1 and HSV2.

Nope, clean as a whistle.