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Question for the ladies


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I'm curious about somethng. Say you were with a guy for 2 years. You invested your entire heart and soul into him. Professed never loving as deeply before. Something totally unforeseen happens(terminal disease Diagnosis) and your guy doesn't deal with it and pushes you away and then finally walks out because he can't deal with it. 4 months later you meet someone and fall in love? Is that possible? Is it possible to love 2 men at the same time?



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Big HUGS* go out to you. I've never seen your ENA screen name before, so I hearby welcome you to "ENA". You came to the right place for support. Almost all of the members here are really great supporters, and will shed some light down on you from personal experience.


Answering your question, I personally believe that it's possible to love two men on an intimate level, if you have experience with both of them. Anything is really possible. Has this created an awkward situation for you? Are you torn between the two?

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It is often difficult to *fix* relationship problems. When one person does something to another, it is hard to take it back or do something to make it right. What has been said and done WILL ALWAYS BE. One might be able to forgive, but things are rarely forgotten.


That being said, what you did to her (I read the original thread you posted) has only left her to find her future without you. Generally, once someone has decided to move on and be with someone else, that is it. The old relationship is done. She still may have emotions surrounding the situation and she may still have feelings for you, but she has decided to move on.


15 years ago, I was once very much in love with someone. He met me while he was dating a woman who was dying from cancer. She was aware of me and was happy that he was able to find someone. She wanted to see him happy. He had a hard time dealing with her death. I wanted nothing but to comfort him and take his pain. He did nothing but push me away then lean on me, repeatedly. He loved me, this I know. But, he wanted more for me. I loved him, this he knew and wanted nothing but to do whatever it took to make him happy.


Eventually, I couldn't take it anymore..years of him constantly pushing me away, breaking my heart. I finally decided to walk away. I moved accross the country in attemps to stop this cycle between us. I was still so madly in love with him but knew it would never work.


2 marriages and 10 years later and I am finally over him. I can finally say that I have no desire to be with him. I no longer want to have his kids or be his wife. I am not in love with him in the least bit. BUT, I STILL have emotions surrounding that relationship and time of my life. He and I are good friends and have remained in contact, speaking every few months to years.


I just spoke to him the other day and our conversation, as so many times has happened, caused me to get emotional. We talked of how we were and what we meant to each other, how we never argued or disrespected each other, how we learned of the capabilities of our hearts and ultimately how that relationship has been the benchmark for all that have followed. We admit that we seek to have the exact same in the partners we grow old with.


This being said, I know that he and I will never be. Even though I seek to have what I once had with him, I do not want it with HIM.


I have no idea on time frames and what not... but, I can understand how your ex would want to move on much like I did, yet still has the emotions from the situation.


I wish and hope nothing but the best for you both.

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Well, an ex of mine who I was with for nearly 2 years (with two minor break-ups, both initiated by me) met a girl about 6 weeks after we broke up the last time. She lived in another state but they spoke on the phone every night for a week and then she said she wanted to visit him for her fall break. So he called me (since we'd ended on good terms) and told me all this but that he still had feelings for me so he didn't know what to do. I told him that we were over, just friends now, so he let her visit him and by the end of the weekend they were head-over-heels.


I was kind of annoyed by it all at the time because he'd gone on and on during our relationship about how much I meant to him and even said he still had feelings for me after he'd met her. I was thinking, "All this and now, a few weeks later, you're with this other girl?" However, he's one of those guys who's never been single since he was 15, and he's now about to turn 28. Some people just NEED to be in a relationship, and they don't care who it's with.

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