mixed signals - any thoughts?

[bob1000]

hi there, this is my first post after finding this site a couple of weeks ago. Having read some of the previous posts i figured there may be some people out there who could give me their thoughts/advice. i'll try and keep the background short....

 

My girlfriend of 2 yrs split up with me about six/seven weeks ago.The reasons were a bit fuzzy. Things had suddenly gone downhill and snowballed very quickly and it ended in one of those i love you but, 'I'm not sure about the future'' type of breakups.

Oddly enough, directly after the breakup i didn't beg or plead for her to come back though we did have a couple of awkward meetings the week after.

 

After that I decided to keep contact to the minimum as the meetings were just too painful. kept very minimal contact for the next month/five weeks, didnt see her and only got in touch when she initiated contact, being mindful to keep things upbeat. For whatever reason, i did nt want to appear like the crushed man, i felt inside.

 

Since then i've seen her a few times, most recently last night, and the meetings have generally been very positive. We enjoy each other;s company, i cant help but laugh and i dont feel i;ve let things drift into some kind of 'just friends' mode.

 

What i can't figure out is how to interpret her behaviour. For example, last night - a meeting instigated by her - she went heavy on complimenting my appearance, prolonged my stay on two or three occasions and is generally being very tactile. Also, her phone rang several times during our conversation and she ignored it (most unusual, if u know the girl). and the night ended with a very clingy hug from her.

 

After these meetings tho' contact resumes to pretty minimal. and frankly, i dont chase it.

 

My take is that she misses me but doubts outweigh the positive feelings. so she resumes keeping her distance.

 

Any one else had similar experiences, or can offer insights?

 

Also a second question. As the dumpee would it ever be right for me to bring up the relationship, or broach the suggestion of a reconciliation? Excuse the gender-stereo typical thinking but as a man i feel like i should take the initiative, or is that just a load of hokum?

[Lionel Hutz]

Yeah, Right about now she probably misses you, she wants your gratification. If it is leaving you confused you must ask her where things are heading and without rushing. Ive had my ex say she still loves me, has a crush on me, and call me a stud. Its a flipping game to get a reaction. Tell her what you want but in a polite non chalant manner and ask her how she feels about it. That leaves the decision making up to her since it sounds like you know what you want. Then you can figure if you will wait for her to decide or move on because you dont have time to play. Also don't read to deep into things, that can be misleading sometimes.

[bob1000]

Also don't read to deep into things, that can be misleading sometimes.

 

cheers very salient point u make. esp. the above. i've found myself over-analyzing a lot of late. appreciate your input