lana111 Posted December 19, 2007 Share Posted December 19, 2007 so ive been dating my new bf for about 4 months. for the last two i have felt love for him, but with hold saying it out of fear it is too early. i know he wants to say it, i can see it in his eyes and his smile. he knows i want to too. sometimes when we are talking or im looking into his eyes he asks me what im thinking and i say "just that you are wonderful" or something along those lines. he continues to say i know there is something you want to tell me with a smirk. then ill tell him that i do want to say something and that something is that he has bad b.o. today. then im in the clear. he has told me in his past relationships he wasnt vocal/affectionate and is trying to work on that. in the meantime i never thought such a thing about that as he is very open and loving to me. back to the point at hand. im mischievous and i want him to say i love you first and then giggle and point and say "you said it first ahahah". is that mean? Link to comment
DN Posted December 19, 2007 Share Posted December 19, 2007 is that mean?Yes. It's making a trivial game out of something that should be meaningful. Link to comment
lana111 Posted December 19, 2007 Author Share Posted December 19, 2007 damn, i wont do that then... but i will tell him how i was planning on waiting to make him say it. Link to comment
Censored Posted December 19, 2007 Share Posted December 19, 2007 You say it if you feel it. If he is "trying to work" on himself being vocal/emotional then this isn't going to help him. It will send him backwards. Link to comment
ftheunion Posted December 20, 2007 Share Posted December 20, 2007 "What is love (baby don't hurt me)" - Haddaway It is a classic question in philosophy. It is interesting that many relationships occur that both people state it to each other, but all things end eventually...........................so it leaves the other person betrayed if a person leaves the relationship by choice. Good luck. But myself am weary of too much words. Four hugs a day I heard is good. But language only does so much......... Link to comment
buckdawg Posted December 20, 2007 Share Posted December 20, 2007 it does sound a bit like game playing. if you feel it say it. how easy is that? Link to comment
RayKay Posted December 20, 2007 Share Posted December 20, 2007 If you feel it is too early to say it, then don't. But don't not say it as you are waiting for him too (and certainly DON'T laugh at him if he does). My boyfriend first told me when he was drunk, on New Years Eve, as we crashed onto the pullout at a friends place. He was just as surprised as I was it came out, and I just said "I love you too". Then we went to sleep. No games, no laughing, no "waiting for other to say first". I knew I loved him by then (but of course still that infatuated love in retrospect) but it was only at that moment I really realized "yeah, I really do" and so it was right to say it too. He sent me an email the next day or the day after saying he really meant it to even though he was drunk Link to comment
RayKay Posted December 20, 2007 Share Posted December 20, 2007 that's sweet Yes, in a strange way it is. Not a story I tend to share with many..ha. We don't drink very much but that night was a wedding social for some friends too and it just got out of hand - we danced up a storm One woman I know had a proposal like that. They spend the day/evening at his family's place for some event (maybe New Years too?) and he rolled into bed (drunk) and said "maybe you should pick out a ring" - she had to ask the next day if it was a proposal....he said it was...ha! Link to comment
buckdawg Posted December 20, 2007 Share Posted December 20, 2007 Yes, in a strange way it is. Not a story I tend to share with many..ha. We don't drink very much but that night was a wedding social for some friends too and it just got out of hand - we danced up a storm One woman I know had a proposal like that. They spend the day/evening at his family's place for some event (maybe New Years too?) and he rolled into bed (drunk) and said "maybe you should pick out a ring" - she had to ask the next day if it was a proposal....he said it was...ha! it's just proof that he'd been thinking but needed the booze to lower his defenses enough to say it. i'll take spontaneity over something planned anyday. Link to comment
RayKay Posted December 20, 2007 Share Posted December 20, 2007 it's just proof that he'd been thinking but needed the booze to lower his defenses enough to say it. i'll take spontaneity over something planned anyday. Well, it definitely was "true" and real - it would not be enough of course if they did not follow through in action with those words too. My friend I mentioned has been married to her hubby for ten years and has two kids, so I guess he meant it Link to comment
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