Changes/College/Letting Go

[thekid55]

Some people are familiar with my situation. I'm 19 years old. Freshman in college. My ex-girlfriend is 16 years old(17 soon) and a junior in high school. We broke up about two months ago when I came home for homecoming. (This was about a month and a half into the long-distance). My school is only 2 hours away from home. I had made a few trips home to see her before hand. Her and I had a stable relationship for about a year and a half. When we were both in high school, we were always together. She did have jealous tenancies, which I feel like let to our break up. There was never any cheating or lying in the relationship. However, after the break up, she did do things that may seem completely unjust and just used to keep me holding on.

I think that I'm still going through the period of readjusting myself and getting back on the right track. The breakup totally threw me off guard.

 

Initial Breakup: I was going to be her date for her dance. She broke up with me at the football game beforehand through a text message. She went to the dance that night and hooked up with a guy the next day. This same guy stood her up for a few dates.

 

-1 week after the breakup: She calls to tell me that her and her family were going to come to NYC for a visit and they wanted me to come(My school is near NYC).....Didn't happen

 

- 2 weeks after the breakup: She texts me telling me that they will be coming to visit me at school. But probably not until after Thanksgiving...never happened.

 

-3 weeks after: I call her, asking her if she will be willing to sit down and talk to me about everything one weekend and maybe we could work things out....She said that she was too busy and had plans

 

-1 month after: She goes to this one party. Drinks. Hooks up with this one guy.

 

-Thanksgiving Break: I called her before I came home and we had plans for the Friday after Thanksgiving. She calls me on Thanksgiving morning and breaks the plans. Says that she didn't think she would be ready to see me yet. I was pretty upset by this. My sister stood up for me (they are in the same grade) and put her in her place. She deleted me off myspace and facebook.

 

-6 weeks after (Birthday): She called me at midnight to be the first to say happy birthday. She texted me during that morning asking me for address at school so she could send me something. She never did. When I asked her if she sent me something, she said no because I don't talk to her anymore. Pretty nice of her.

 

-7 weeks after: One of her friends and her got into an argument. She wanted to have sex with her friend's ex because she was mad at her. It didn't happen.

 

-Beginning of Winter Break (Now): I got home last week. She asked me when I was coming home. I told her. She told me to come visit her at work that night. I went and saw her. We had tentative plans for the next night, but she never called me. I had to call her. She told me that she had other plans. She wrote on myspace under a blog about how her relationship with me meant nothing to her and that she wished she got to know other guys better....

 

Reflection: When I was around, this girl would do absolutely anything for me. Now that I'm in college, we have grown apart. But I don't even feel like she treats me like a human. She will occasionally pop up and talk to me when she starts to think that I'm letting her go. In the beginning, I was very clingy. I didn't give her a lot of space since I was still in shellshock from the whole breakup. She has been so viciously mean to me. The girl I used to know was so different than this new monster. She was fun, extremely giving (we bought tons for each other), very selfless, loving, everything that someone could want in a girlfriend. Now, she is big into partying. The new guy that she talks with has a lip ring, does drugs, doesn't like his parents. Basically an "emo kid" for lack of a better term. She is the polar opposite of him. It's almost like she is rebelling and I don't fit into her life anymore. It's just appalling how someone can tell you that they love you and want to be with you forever to not evening caring to talk to you as an equal, as a person. Yes, she is young, but someone of this stuff that she has done is purely cold-hearted. I know that I need to let her grow up and experience life without me.

 

Thoughts?

[MushroomGod]

I know that I need to let her grow up and experience life without me.

 

Thoughts?

 

You need to experience life without her too. You're in college there are plenty of girls around talk to new ones. Let this one go she has disrespected you countless times since you 2 broke up. Let go, go NC and move on. Think about yourself and what you want, focus on you. You're young and have plenty of time to find a great new girl.

[Lionel Hutz]

Dont toture yourself bro. Going to college puts you in a whole new social situation. Bigger pool with better swimmers, nah mean?

[thekid55]

Oh I definitely feel you on that one. I have been going out. Seen a lot of different girls. I guess it's really just not the same. I've been having a ton of fun and all. I just really truly loved this girl. From her actions, she does not love me. If she loved me, she wouldn't have put me through this. Again, yes, she is young.

[Mustang]

I don't buy into the idea that going to university means that you can't maintain a relationship with someone.

 

If you love someone enough, NOTHING will stop you from making it work. I know this because I did exactly that last year. I made sacrifices. I used to make all the effort I could.

 

However, my ex started university a few months back (which meant that I could see more of her) and decided to call it quits. Nice eh!