I dont know who can feel it, but its there!

[HajiMaji]

So, when I was in the fresh pain of the break up, I really felt nothing good about my life. While I knew people cared for me, I didnt really feel it. I knew my family cared for me (lord knows my mom spoke to me on the phone nearly every night, listening to me feel so down) but it didnt satisfy. No matter what was going on, I couldnt feel much positive.

 

I also had a lot going on for me in other aspects. I knew I was doing well in school, but I didnt feel like that mattered. I knew how great of a human being I was, but I felt like I had no worth. I knew I was alive, but I felt like I was dead. I knew had a hot body, but I felt ugly (sorta kidding ). My point is everything was bad. I knew how good things were in my life regardless of my ex, but the pain was the only thing I could really feel.

 

Now it is 5 or 6 months later, and I feel everything positive again. I feel like a normal person. I feel happy that I had another straight A semester. I feel severely loved by my family. I feel confident again. I feel alive. I feel tremendously worthy. These are all things that I have felt in my life before this break up.

 

What changed? Nothing. My family didnt all of a suddent love me more. I didnt all of a sudden start doing well in school. Nothing changed, but the pain has went away so that I can feel what it is like to be a person again.

 

If you were relatively happy with yourself prior to the breakup, you will get that back. If you knew how to treat yourself well before the break up, that all comes back. Whatever life you were living is still there; it just hides itself behind the massive pain that you are going through. My life did not change really at all since the day I was broken up until now. Now I just can appreciate it again.

[pester1c]

Nice to know Haji. keep moving in life. I felt the same after few months. Getting back to self is something so amazing.

[Veroni]

It great that you have healed. I bet it feels soooo good to know that those first days of crying and hoping for them to come back are over. You jumped the hurdle, now its all smooth from here. LUCKY YOU!

[tushboy]

So happy for you, I know how it feels....Everything comes back, your self respect, your happiness, your life it gets back. Just give yourself TIME and keep walking ON....don't ever stop

[shell80]

Definitely Haji - I know exactly how you feel!!

 

I just thinking that last night - about how only just recently I am starting to enjoy the simple things in life that used to make me happy pre breakup - sleeping in of a morning, trying out a new restaurant, sitting with friends over a drink....

 

Its nearly 3 mths for me, and I am still 'getting over it', but at least I feel a bit more human too. Like you I also felt completely ugly and worthless. I didn't care about anything but my personal life and what had happened...I could have been nominated with an Academy Award or the Nobel Peace Prize and it would not have mattered at all.

 

I think they are normal feelings that come with rejection...it is almost as though being with that person validated that we were worth loving but we know this is not true.

[hpsowce]

I know that feeling, and it really can be an overwhelming moment when you look back and realise that you have your self-worth back. For those people that are currently down in the depths of pain after a break up remember that it does get better and you do get over it but it's perfectly normal for you to not believe that right now!!

 

Even when you've been down there and come through it a number of times it can still be impossible to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Just have faith in yourself and the process of healing, constantly remind yourself of the positive things in your life and learn to be thankful for them. When you feel truly thankful for things you DO have it's very difficult to feel bad about the things you DON'T have, so practice being thankful for everything positive in your world, no matter how small or insignificant it may seem.

 

Hajimaji - an excellent point about our perceptions and how they are often distorted by our emotional state, recognising that is often a key step to seeing through those distortions.

[beebee]

wonderful post... alot of insight i had not thought about before until you brought it up...

 

thanks and hugs... beebee