AmIaFool wants to know - am I a freak?

[AmIafool]

So everyone says it's normal for guys to look at other women. However, a lot of people seem to think it's not normal to be bothered by it. For me it's the extent of the looking - if it's outright staring and/or catching that other woman's eye and smiling, that sends me over the edge. A few glances aren't bothersome. Now believe it or not porn doesn't bother me horribly. I'm not crazy it, but it's nothing in comparison to the anguish say a strip club would cause.

 

Because I've mentioned this or written a post asking for advice on how to deal with insecure and jealous feelings, people assume that I'm a drama queen. I'm really not like that at all. I keep quiet as much as I can, and if something bothers me enough, I'll bring it up. I don't have a habit of interrogating and making accusations. My bf would have left long ago if that was a pattern with me. Our relationship is quite harmonious. I don't sweat the few odd glances - only when the looking crosses the line. Does this make me a freak?

[Censored]

I don't think it makes you a freak if your bf is leering or staring at women. If he is doing this in front of you, then it is disrespectful to you.

 

Sure, there may be some relationship to you being insecure, BUT i really don't think it is appropriate for him to be doing this.

I certainly don't think you are a drama queen.

[Dako]

Is it the glance or the target of his glance that affects your mood?

Sometimes a woman will compare herself to the woman her guy gazes at.

[crystalpistel11]

No way it doesnt make you a freak ..Im the same exact way !!

 

Before my boyfriend and I met . he has alot of friends that were girls , Im not normally the jealous type . But ive been cheated on in every relationship ive been in [thats only been 2 besides the one im in] And it drove me CRAZY , that he has so many girlfriends .

 

I know exactly how you feel , My boyfriend doesnt look at other girls but he does make comments to his girlfriends , Tells them how pretty they are and stuff. And that bothers me

[AmIafool]

No way it doesnt make you a freak ..Im the same exact way !!

 

Before my boyfriend and I met. he has alot of friends that were girls, Im not normally the jealous type. But ive been cheated on in every relationship ive been in [thats only been 2 besides the one im in] And it drove me CRAZY , that he has so many girlfriends .

 

I know exactly how you feel , My boyfriend doesnt look at other girls but he does make comments to his girlfriends , Tells them how pretty they are and stuff. And that bothers me

 

Wow, that would bother me too! I would hope your boyfriend tells you you're pretty. That's just wrong if he says it to these friends and not to you.

 

If you've been cheated on, that can serve to make you paranoid about future boyfriends. It's just human nature. But then you have to make sure you're not imagining things because the past baggage is haunting you.

 

So far as I know, my current boyfriend doesn't have any female friends. Acquaintances, sure, but no one he goes off and hangs out with. Most of his free time is spent with me, and occasionally he hangs with his guy friends. Like I said, a few odd glances at an attractive stranger isn't a huge hairy deal, but continued watching/compulsive "I can't take my eyes off her" looking is. And this has happened a handful of times, and these incidences I did bring up.

 

Right now this issue isn't as bad as when I first posted it. I think part of my problem, as alluded to above, is past baggage. My ex had a few female friends; some of them were attractive. I can only remember once or twice bringing up the fact I was uncomfortable with one of them. But the rest I wasn't worried about at all. Ironically, he cheated on me with one who was not someone I thought would be his type. He did have a habit of seriously checking out and even flirting with attractive women whenever we went out, and if some channel on cable TV was displaying scantily clad women, he would without fail tune into that. Also, he had a porn habit. I don't know if it was moderate or bordering on addiction - just know he was into it. Put all this together and it did make me wonder about his character. Since we broke up I now see my instincts were dead on about him.