What are "we" exactly??

[anitar123]

Hello everyone! So my ex & I (we dated 9 years ago) have recently hooked up again. We hang out all the time and talk 3-4 times a day. We are going to two weddings this weekend and are planning on spending New Years together. I have not had "the talk" with him and I'm not sure when I should - maybe it's too soon - it's only been two weeks. He just broke up with his ex 2 months ago...but then again, so did I. How long should I wait to have that talk? I'm still in shock that we're even hanging out again after 9 years.

[keenan]

What's "the talk"?

[anitar123]

To find out what's going on...

[hailtothevictors]

I'm assuming "the talk" refers to talking about where they each see the relationship going: just a few week fling? together again? long-term possibilities?

 

It does seem like two weeks isn't all that much time though. Maybe wait a while longer and see how things progress.

[keenan]

Ah. Sorry. These things always seem to arise spontaneously in my life; I don't think of them as planned events. Maybe I talk too much.

 

If it doesn't come up more organically before then, it seems like New Years might be a nice time to say something like "Hey, it's been really fun hanging out with you again" and wait and see where the conversation goes. Two weeks is pretty early to be demanding any kind of specificity on where you stand, but it's not too early to tell him that you're really liking spending time with him.

[BeStrongBeHappy]

i would treat this like any other 'new' relationship... 9 years was a long time ago, and a lot could have changed since then, so don't assume you are picking up right where you left off...

 

i'd wait and see how things go after New Years...

 

i think it might be fair to ask whether you guys are dating or just being friends with benefits right now... but to talk about being 'serious' at this point is too soon. get to know him again...

[ghost69]

maybe ask him where you see you guys going. let him ask you if you are exclusive though.

[SuperConfused]

Just a suggestion:

 

(I was going to do this myself..)

 

On New Years (since you'll be together), see where your New Years kiss leads you. Make sure you snag him for when the ball drops, and maybe follow up with him at that point. It's creative, fun, and will surely be a lasting memory if he does see anything for the two of you.

 

I was going to pull this little idea out on my own girlfriend, until we 'got together' a couple days ago.

 

Enjoy! And goodluck!