Bestfriends with benifits? How to find out his REAL feelings

[Analizethis]

My bestfriend and I have been living together for almost a year now. We've been bestfriends for awhile now and for the past year have been getting really close. One night me and some friends were "drunk" and our friend confronted us on "our feelings" basically ask each of us seperetly how we felt then spilling it on the table infront of both of us. Since then we got closer and are now sleeping together and going on as normal couples. But the thing is we haven't talked about our feeling since that one night...a year New Years Eve. I'm starting to feel REALLY strong feelings for him, and I don't know if they are mutral. He seems to be on the same page, but I wont be settled till I know for sure.

So my ordeal is, how do I aproach it, without being crushed?

 

If there's any help out there pleaseeee deliver.

[Celadon]

Honey, I think you need to figure out what you want. You've more or less slipped into this relationship without defining it, esp. since you were already living together. And so it was inevitable you'd end up exactly where you are. Sounds like you're at a milestone, since you're feeling confused.

 

The reason I say you should know what you want before you talk with your bestfriend/lover is because things can get more confusing and hurtful if he's NOT on the same page as you. (I hope he is though!) I've learned it helps think things through while you're *calm,* not in the heat of the moment.

 

So what do you want and what are you willing to accept from him? Do you want to be together long-term? If he's not ready to give you that, how long are you willing to wait?

 

As for how to approach it, just be yourself. Don't beat around the bush. Tell him you'd like to talk about something important to you. Ask him what he thinks of your relationship, how he feels about you, what he wants. No judging or pressure, just openness with your feelings and his feelings.

 

Again, I definitely hope that your bf is on the same page as you. Please let us know!

[Cid]

Just go up and ask him what he thinks of you and tell him how you feel.

[sisterlynch]

You need to tell him how you are feeling, that is the only way that you can hope to build up a relationship. Living together and sleeping together are two different things. You need to talk to build up boundaries around yourself or other people. this is what a relatinship is all about finding the proper boundaries for the two people in the relationship. Not for the friend who played match maker. That may have been some form of coersion.