For those of you married or in LTRs: Who pursued who?

[love4life]

Just curious....who pursued who in your relationship? Man or woman? Or was it a bit of both?

[melrich]

I "pursued" my wife.

[amtjrtcet]

I asked him if he wanted to ask for my number since he'd been staring at me all night. Then he pursed me after that.

[pianoguy]

My boyfriend pursued me.

[Batya33]

First time around- all him in a big way. Second time around almost a decade later, he would say it was all him and I would say that it was partly me during a short window of time when I e-mailed him twice during our "non-date period of time" (about 3-4 weeks) before he asked me out for the "second time around, first date."

 

The first time around required a bit of chasing on his part as I was dating someone else and he and I worked for the same company so it was a minor obstacle. Second time around, no chasing - he initiated, I responded with enthusiasm.

 

I've never been the primary initiator or "pursuer" in any of my several serious relationships. I have been in a few very short term dating situations.

[RayKay]

Bit of both - I contacted him first online via a contact on a site neither of us PAID for, so he found me on another site and sent me an email.

 

He asked me out first couple dates, though I would call/email him as well.

 

I was first to bring up being exclusive, he was first to bring up moving in together....and so on!

 

I like it being balanced that way, I don't like the idea of feeling I should be a "prize" to be chased because I think we are both equally valuable and I just worry about what kind of relationship comes from that in the end.

 

For that reason, I certainly would not do ALL the chasing either (and would well, quite frankly decide they weren't interested and move on!).

 

It does not work for everyone, but it does for me!

[JadedStar]

First time around- all him in a big way. Second time around almost a decade later, he would say it was all him and I would say that it was partly me during a short window of time when I e-mailed him twice during our "non-date period of time" (about 3-4 weeks) before he asked me out for the "second time around, first date."

 

The first time around required a bit of chasing on his part as I was dating someone else and he and I worked for the same company so it was a minor obstacle. Second time around, no chasing - he initiated, I responded with enthusiasm.

 

I've never been the primary initiator or "pursuer" in any of my several serious relationships. I have been in a few very short term dating situations.

 

The first time around required a bit of chasing on his part as I was dating someone else and he and I worked for the same company so it was a minor obstacle. Second time around, no chasing - he initiated, I responded with enthusiasm.

 

I only chuckle to the italics quote above because same here - not only did it work out exactly the same with our SO's we also worked at the same company first time around. First time around he did gobs of chasing i just wasn't interested. Over a decade later same scenario as yours - he initiated, i responded with enthusiasm.

[StretchGee]

I pursued and drove the whole show.

 

On edit: Or so I thought!

[Alezia]

My boyfriend did the initial dating / asking to be exclusive part of the relationship.

When the relationship went rocky afterwards, I did most of the pursuing.

It was such a bad idea!!! ](*,) But the reasons are strictly because of the relationship, not in general.

 

I don't see anything wrong about a women asking a man if he wants to get married, be exclusive or move together etc... but I know it's not something I can handle well myself so I'd rather not out of putting strain on the relationship.

[keenan]

He pursued me.

 

But then I pursued him right back.

[Snoopy24]

My friend brought my current bf out one night to a bar. We talked casually. The next day he found me on myspace started talking everyday, and hanging out. He asked me to be his girlfriend like two weeks later : -)

[Hope75]

Interestingly enough, we met on an online dating site. I had him saved to my 'favorites' profile as I thought he was cute, and about 24 hours later he sent me a message.

 

He asked me on the first few dates and I responded in kind, and we kind of went from there.

 

6 weeks later he asked me to move in with him and I was speechless. Here we are 5 years later getting married.

[Miss Firecracker]

I met him in a public place. He happened to know a friend of mine well, and he told her he wanted to call me and asked her to get my number. She asked me if it was OK, and I said yes. He called that week.

[JadedStar]

Interestingly enough, we met on an online dating site. I had him saved to my 'favorites' profile as I thought he was cute, and about 24 hours later he sent me a message.

 

He asked me on the first few dates and I responded in kind, and we kind of went from there.

 

6 weeks later he asked me to move in with him and I was speechless. Here we are 5 years later getting married.

 

YOu should defintely post this in the online dating success stories threads (maybe you already have, i haven't read them DOH! LOL)

[mrmaximum]

Well, I've never been the pursuer in my whole dating life (which would probably explain a whole lot) and my wife was no exception. My wife had hired an agent to talk to me the first time we met (it was her sister as she didn't believe that a woman should talk to a man and ask him out) and then it was clearly she who was pursuing me after she got my number. We moved in together about 8 months later and the rest is history.