WithLoveJessica Posted December 17, 2007 Posted December 17, 2007 I have a boyfriend of 2 and a half years (long distance for eight months). He's my first real love, I'm his first real love. But I feel like we became serious too soon and that I don't have enough dating experience. He treats me well. However, for the past six months we barely do anything sexual anymore. We've talked about it, but I just feel like we don't have that chemistry anymore. I feel like we're best friends. We have a lot of the same interests. He makes me laugh and we have fun. But if I were to break up with him, it would hit him out of nowhere. He would be so hurt, and alone. (not to mention he moved in my apartment complex) There is this other man I've known for a couple of months, who seems perfect. He fits the profile of the guy I always wanted. We don't have as much in common, but we can still talk for hours. (but I'm scared it is only because it is still early on) I like movies and rock music. He likes sports and rap music. I am so attracted to him and I feel this new breath of fresh air when I am with him. However, I sometimes worry why he is so into me..even though he knows I still have boyfriend. He tempts me and I often fall into it. We spend a lot of time together..behind my boyfriend's back. I talk/see him more than my own boyfriend. I feel like the stupidest, ugliest person in the world. Should I make the big dive or should I stay with my boyfriend and tell him the truth? Feedback would be greatly appreciated! Thanks.
Crazyaboutdogs Posted December 17, 2007 Posted December 17, 2007 You are emotionally cheating on your boyfriend and that is not right. If you are not feeling it anymore with him, then end it before getting involved with someone else.
Momene Posted December 17, 2007 Posted December 17, 2007 It could be that the distance aspect just isn't cutting it for you but I admit to a cultural bias here. I'm English and we just don't do distance very well here. It could be that the new guy is just filling a gap for you, it could be that he really is a better short term (or longer term) boyfriend or it could be that he just seems all that but isn't really. If you'll see a lot of your original boyfriend over Christmas, the old spark could rekindle, so I'd leave any decisions until after then. In the meantime, DON'T do anything sexual with the new bloke and, if you do, dump the old one to be fair. Good luck.
buckdawg Posted December 17, 2007 Posted December 17, 2007 you need to end it with the first guy until you can get your head straight. what you're doing is not fair to him. as far as not feeling 'it' anymore, i don't know how old you are but these things happen and while you'll feel bad, you shouldn't beat yourself up for it. but in God's name you need to be respectful of #1's feelings and breaking it off is better than sneaking around behind his back
piggy_oink Posted December 17, 2007 Posted December 17, 2007 This guy will feel wonderful - all new guys do. Remember, the beginning of relationships are always amazing and fun as it's a new person to get to know and it's exciting, but are you sure it is possible in the long term. Would your differences become a problem? And, why are you seeing this guy behind yr bf's back? Have you actually cheated on yr bf with this guy - if there is nothing going on, then why hide it? You need to try and make a decision quickly, as the longer you leave it the more hurt you will cause, for all involved.
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