An update

[LilDeadRidnHood]

I've posted on here twice in the passed about my husband and a 15 year old acquaintance. My posts are detailed, but to give a little background... We own an independent film company. This girl acted in our last film and since then she and my husband have gotten too chummy, IMO.

 

I was being subservient about this, we argued a few times, but that was it. Until now. I found out that a few months ago she kissed him. In my first post I wrote about the night he disappeared with her for an hour. Well, that was the night he kissed her. And I just found out about it last week.

 

I was furious. When I found out about it out other executive producer was over having a drink with us. Well, natuarally I got mad. I told my husband from now on if she sleeps over he will sleep in the bedroom with me, not on the living room couch while she sleeps on the other couch. I told him he is not going anywhere with her alone. And I made it very clear I am going to confront her about it.

 

My husband and our producer both tried talking me out of it. They told me I have no right to confront her, that she is just a kid and we are adults. That she doesn't know any better, etc. That's such BS. When I was 15 I knew better then to kiss on a married man! So, they are treating this like a business matter and not a personal matter. I haven't had the chance to confront her yet. I think one of them (if not both of them) may have called her to tell her I know.) Because now she is avoiding us like the plague.

 

We have a meeting Wednesday night. They have both given me "permission" to confront her at the metting. Why the hell should this be at a business meeting for our company? Yes, she is our employee, but it doesn't seem orthodox. And we hold these meetings at a local lounge. They are open invite to anyone who works for us, actors, crew, etc. So I have to drag this little thing out in front of a bunch of people, and in a public place to boot?

 

Our producer keeps telling me how out of line I am. And my husband keeps telling me it was nothing, that she kissed him, not the other way around... And that there is no need to cause a rift in our friendship and in the company over this. But I am saying something to her. I laid down certain boundaries for my husband, now I will lay them down for her.And if her boyfriend happens to be at this meeting, I don't care.

 

So, any thoughts. On the situation, or on how I should go about confronting her?

 

And just so everyone knows in advance, I do not plan to leave my husband. We've been married 3 years, we were together for quite a few years before that. Until this, I never had a reason to feel this way. He has been faithful and trustworthy. He is a good man, a good lover, and my other half. So no, I won't just dump him.

[Censored]

Ummmm, i'm sorry, but i think you need to be focussing your attention on your HUSBAND. Not some 15 year old child.

 

He is basically a paedophile if he is messing with a 15 year old girl.

[wiser]

She shouldn't be sleeping at your house at all. Considering that your husband kissed her, the whole thing is messed up. And for her to sleep in the bedroom with you is definitely no answer. This whole thing sounds very strange.

[LilDeadRidnHood]

Ummmm, i'm sorry, but i think you need to be focussing your attention on your HUSBAND. Not some 15 year old child.

 

He is basically a paedophile if he is messing with a 15 year old girl.

 

How do you mean exactly? I chewed him out, I forbade him to be alone with her. We argued terribly over this.

 

And, after confronting her, if she continues putting the moves on him, I am not above telling her parents.

[LilDeadRidnHood]

She shouldn't be sleeping at your house at all. Considering that your husband kissed her, the whole thing is messed up. And for her to sleep in the bedroom with you is definitely no answer. This whole thing sounds very strange.

 

I never said she would be sleeping in the bed with me. I said he would while she sleeps out here on the couch.

 

If it was up to me she wouldn't be sleeping here. And she hasn't slept here since I found out about the kiss.

[wiser]

He shouldnt be alone with her and she shouldnt be staying over your house at all. There is serious potential for wrongdoing. There must be other places she can stay.

[Censored]

Look at the end of the day, she is a child. Yes what she did was wrong, but put it into perspective, emotionally she is not mature. She may have been infatuated with your husbaned, or it COULD be the other way around.

He is the adult in all this, he needs to talk to her. He needs to make her understand that nothing can or will ever happen between the two of them. She is simply a child.

 

You ostracising her in public is a mean and cruel thing to do to anyone, let alone a 15 year old girl. That is certainly not the way to go.

 

Tell her parents what exactly. That she kissed you husband? So what, she is a child that acted on a childish impulse. I'd be more concerned that your husband is doing something wrong here.

 

Please don't humiliate this girl, she does not deserve it.

[wiser]

Look at the end of the day, she is a child. Yes what she did was wrong, but put it into perspective, emotionally she is not mature. She may have been infatuated with your husbaned, or it COULD be the other way around.

He is the adult in all this, he needs to talk to her. He needs to make her understand that nothing can or will ever happen between the two of them. She is simply a child.

 

I can't say it any better than he did.

[LilDeadRidnHood]

He shouldnt be alone with her and she shouldnt be staying over your house at all. There is serious potential for wrongdoing. There must be other places she can stay.

 

Yea, like at home with her parents where she belongs.

 

Anyone have anything to say about what should happen at the meeting Wednesday night. I am wondering if my husbadn and our producer are setting it up this way on purpose because they think I won't say anything to her in front of everyone. And I still don't plan to. I'll take her ass in the bathroom and give my little speech.

[wiser]

I never said she would be sleeping in the bed with me. I said he would while she sleeps out here on the couch.

 

If it was up to me she wouldn't be sleeping here. And she hasn't slept here since I found out about the kiss.

 

Yeah, I read that wrong. My bad.

[LilDeadRidnHood]

When the hell did I say I was going to humiliate her?

 

I guess everyone here is going to side with her just like in real life. Maybe I should just pack all my crap and let her take my place then. By all.

[Censored]

Hey know what, maybe i misunderstood your post in relation to dragging her out in front of everyone in the meeting.

 

Either way, you should speak to her with your husband and maybe your producer there as well.

 

Again, this responsibility lies entirely with your husband. If he is not willing to do anything about it then he may be afraid of what she says back to you.

 

Hmmmmm, could make an interesting discussion if she cracks, and tells you the "secrets" that he has asked her to keep.

 

Let her take your place?!?!? Oh for gods sake, just relax. She is a CHILD. If you totally trust your husband, then it really is a non issue. BUT if you think your husband may be a nasty little pedo and has maybe lead her own for his own self gratification, then that's what you need to deal with.

 

She is basically irrelevant in all this.

[HellFrost666]

If this girl wants to hang out with adults, then she should conduct herself like an adult. To the people saying she is somehow exempt from any wrongdoing because she's a kid, would this thread be different if she was 25 or so?

 

Just food for thought.

[jengh]

 

 

My husband and our producer both tried talking me out of it. They told me I have no right to confront her, that she is just a kid and we are adults. That she doesn't know any better, etc. That's such BS. When I was 15 I knew better then to kiss on a married man! So, they are treating this like a business matter and not a personal matter. I haven't had the chance to confront her yet. I think one of them (if not both of them) may have called her to tell her I know.) Because now she is avoiding us like the plague..

 

 

Okay, if she's "just a kid", as your husband says, why does she have such a big say in all of the company decisions? If she's "just a kid", she should remain an employee..not have upper-management authority. (i read your first post, that's where I'm getting this from)

 

I think that her parents NEED to know what's going on here..the way your husband is acting is unethical and I'm SURE her parents wouldn't want their daughter in that environment.

[Censored]

If this girl wants to hang out with adults, then she should conduct herself like an adult. To the people saying she is somehow exempt from any wrongdoing because she's a kid, would this thread be different if she was 25 or so?

 

Just food for thought.

 

She works for them. She is a CHILD.

[wiser]

She works for them. She is a CHILD.

 

Minor technicality. Picky, picky.

[Censored]

Minor technicality. Picky, picky.

 

FACT FACT, time to grow up people.

 

ooooh, lets get Jimmy in the toilets and beat him up.

 

And yes it would be diff if she was 25, she would be an ADULT.

[HellFrost666]

She works for them. She is a CHILD.

 

So? When I was 15 I washed dishes in a retaraunt. I sure as hell didn't go sleep at my boss's house and smooch with his wife. She is obviously not treating this like a boss/employee relationship.

 

And it sounds to me like the producer and the husband want this confrontation to take place at the meeting. I don't think the OP wants that. So why call her cruel?

[Censored]

Re-read her following posts. So ok, lets go and catch her while she is in the toilets. Thats a MUCH better plan!!!! Construnctive and mature. She ain't going to be upset when she walks out of the cubicle in front of everyone.

 

oh, and the only reason i could think they want this in public, is b/c they know she may not do that. thereforeee the girl won't blurt out her dirty litytle secret about her and the husband. Open your eyes OP, there is more to this.

[HellFrost666]

^ Well, those are the consequences she should have thought about beforehand. Like I said, she wants to hang out with adults, she should be prepared to be treated like an adult.

 

LilDead, I've followed your posts since the first one. I have been quiet until now on your threads. I, personally, think you have every right to be pissed. And this thread is kind of hitting home for me right now, since an aquaintance of mine recently kissed my girlfriend. I know my girlfriend would never cheat on me, I have complete trust in her. But when I found out he kissed her I wanted to stomp him.

 

I have a friend who is 17. He lives up the street from me. He's an insane guitarist. Sometimes he comes down here to talk music with me. If he started hitting on my girlfriend I would chew him a new one. I wouldn't just sit back and say "Oh, he's just a kid. It's all good."

[pregnantkitty_1985]

Um, obviously your husband was giving this kid some kind of go-ahead signal, for why else would she just randomly kiss him? Don't be so naive, there are disgusting men who try to sleep with 15 year olds everyday. (Ever watched Dateline's To Catch a Predator? And most of those men are married with wives their own ages.)

 

And he disappeared with her, alone, for an hour, and you still think he's the innocent one in this? You're acting like this girl is some little lolita trying to seduce your man and your husband has no part in it. Yes, she seems a bit slutty, but she's a child and your husband is an adult, and that is a fact. He is the one who needs to be staying away from her, and I'll bet if you "tell" her parents on her they will agree. And I agree with whoever it was that said something about your husband possibly being afraid of what the girl might tell you.

 

Look; not trying to insult you, I understand the situation you're in and have been in a very similar one. My boyfriend went behind my back trying to sleep with a little 14 year old "hottie", and she started flirting with him and coming on to him for cigarettes and attention. He initially tried to make it seem like he thought of her as nothing but a child and she was just a * * * * trying to sink her claws in to him, but then I later found out the truth. He had been trying to screw her.

 

It's sick but it happens, far more often than you would think. And my initial impulse was to drag that little b*tch by her hair through the streets, and I did a bad thing (I cussed her out and threatened her, very un-adult like) and I was very sorry later when I found out the truth.

 

You have to dig a little deeper to find out what REALLY happened. Maybe you should get this girl alone, be sweet, butter her up, and find out her side of the story. She could be a victim here.

[Censored]

A 15 year old girl who works for these people is a child.

She is not 25, she is not 20 she is not 17 she is not 16. She is 15.

 

The husband should be the one bearing the entire brunt of this. She cannot vote, she cannot drink, she cannot smoke, she cannot do anything as she is a child. The law sees her as a child because SHE IS A CHILD.

 

So this CHILD made a silly puppy dog mistake. WOW, the horror of it all.

 

What did your HUSBAND do about this, the ADULT in all of this? Not much by the sounds of it.

In fact it sounds rather concerning that he would even let her sleep over if this had occurred. It all sounds a little fishy.

 

You need to get your HUSBAND, the ADULT, you the ADULT and a third person, preferably AN ADULT. To sit down with her.

 

Your HUSBAND, the ADULT needs to let this CHILD know in no uncertain terms that her childish CRUSH is just that. A childish crush that can, and never will go anywhere. He needs to explain how and why this has upset YOU, and for her to understand that she can not act this way.

 

WOW, maybe after all that this CHILD may learn something that may one day help her grow into a well-adjusted ADULT.

[Aleadragonhawk]

After reading (and commenting on) your earlier threads, all I can really say about this situation is that you are enabling it and allowing it to continue.

[HellFrost666]

I think we scared her off guys.