Q regarding being tested for STD's.

[KG]

I've noticed that on some dating sites, a person will request paperwork that you are STD, HIV free.

But doesn't this seem senseless, to a degree, that in the timeframe from when you get tested, to when you become intimate, that person could have had unprotected sex, thus rendering said paperwork useless?

No, I am not talking about me, as I don't foresee getting any for a long while.

TIA, as always.

KG

[annie24]

i don't see it as being pointless, but as you pointed out, you can have recent paperwork, but if they went out and had unprotected sex last night, they would have to take more tests later on. I think that the 'paperwork' is a good show of faith, and then get to know them for several months, then request they get another round of bloodtesting, just to be very safe. i think it's better to be safe than sorry.

[shes2smart]

You're right about what could possibly go on between the time one was tested and the time one decides to have sex with a new partner.

 

However, one thing paperwork can do is offer proof that you were, in fact, tested at some point.

 

It's pretty clear that there is a right and wrong answer to the question, "Have you been (recently) tested for STDs?" I wouldn't put it past some people to insist they had been tested (and do so on a regular basis) when they either haven't been tested lately or at all.

[EQD]

yes i think its pointless also.

i guess its one of those things where people just find comfort in seeing it on paper. Kinda like a false comfort.

 

And also becuase HIV isn't detectable until after 3 months of the time they were infected. So in fact they could stil be positive anyway.

[Dako]

I draw blood for these tests every day, and it seems folks do this as a practical measure and as a gesture of care for a new partner. I did this myself a while back.

 

Nothing is fool-proof, but if someone is into casual unprotected sex, I doubt they'd bother.

[KG]

All of these were my thought also! Just wondered what other people thought.

It's so risky out there these days!

[EQD]

yeah i just heard someone say that HIV/AIDS is too hard to transmit.

See its been around public knowledge for decades and people STILL aren't educated about it.. my thought? I think we will all be wiped out from AIDS one day. And only those people who have the special "no door" system that doesnt let HIV become AIDS and destroy them will survive.

Then another 2000 years later i am sure some other virus will pop up and wipe us all out again. Its mother nature.

And besides there are double the amount of infected people alive today than there is people who actually died of the virus. DOUBLE! lol

yeah, the problem is the nonchalant generation that is cropping up, ease of having sex, fewer standards developing, under education of the subject, the magnitude of people who are infected now, the probably even larger number of people who don't know they are infected, ease of contracting the disease, and the waiting period involved with the testing of HIV.

 

Think about it, if you have sex or oral with anyone, you should wait 3 full months until becoming active with another person to be sure you don't have the disease. I don't know of anyone who would wait that long. The simple fact is that WE stopped caring.

One infected person could easily transmit the disease to 14 people in the course of 3 months... its scary.

[hopefulromantic79]

I've only asked for blood tests when it comes to HIV...I suppose you can get blood tests now for HSV but that's it, right? I guess Hepatitis C, too. I don't know...I do think that you run a HUGE risk these days of contracting some type of STD by having casual sex...

 

For me, I will wait til I know someone very well and develop trust with a person ... and hopefully at that point they would open up and tell me their health status. I'd have to say that the only thing I'd worry about is HIV...the other ones, well, they aren't desirable, but if I was in love with that person, I could handle it easily.

 

I wouldn't ask for a blood test before I dated someone. To me, that's plain silly. Unless I was planning on only having a sexual relationship with them (which I wouldn't), I don't see any point in asking for it upfront.

 

When the relationship seemed to be progressing towards sex, then I would ask for the blood test and of course get one myself...but before going on a date with someone, knowing their STD status is not important...and certainly wouldn't ask for one on a dating site???

[Dako]

ED,

 

What do you do to be sure you and your partner are free of STDs?

 

I suppose I'm an exception, but I don't have sex with strangers, and I know many people who have a blood test before entering a relationship.

[Pocket Rocket]

EQUESTRIANDYNAMO - Um... if i'm not mistaken the free love generation was back in the 70's, and that's one generation ago. I agree that the problem is education, misinformation but stigma and a hush-hush attitude about it doesn't help either. I don't think this is a generational thing, if you remember syphilis spread like wildfire a long time ago, in fact if it wasn't for syphilis, the condom wouldn't be around as we know it today. I'm certain that if HIV existed back then, people would die just the same.

 

When HIV was a recent thing people were all convinced it was a disease only transmittable to gay men and for years people were convinced only gay men could contract this, even some going as far as to say that this was a disease sent from god to wipe out homosexuals and it was too little too late before they realised this is -everyone's- problem. Just like the bubonic plague, people thought the disease was a punishment from god to kill off the sinful - attitudes haven't changed these days either.

 

It isn't that getting tested is hard it's that people are TERRIFIED at what the result might be and they'd rather not know than have to deal with the truth. Here in Europe testing is free, confidential and takes up to a week before you get your results, I don't think availability of testing is a problem.

 

 

Unfortunately many women in well off countries contract HIV because they are insecure. The women I've met with HIV were all pretty young when they contracted it and all said pretty much the same thing "I was too scared to ask him to put if on" or "I thought he wouldn't like me if I asked". THink about it, if your self esteem is that low, you're not going to think about safeguarding your own life. Then there are those that convince themselves "well treatment allows you to live a normal life" and have unprotected sex anyway. If someone is asking you for a test take it as a good thing - that they have enough of a sense of self worth and respect to safeguard their health.

[EQD]

ED,

 

What do you do to be sure you and your partner are free of STDs?

 

I suppose I'm an exception, but I don't have sex with strangers, and I know many people who have a blood test before entering a relationship.

 

Well since i am one of those poor fools who has chosen not to give a rats a$$ about my life, i use condoms and i get tested every 3 months.. Like i said, There are not alot of people who are going to wait 3 months after every single sexual encounter to then be tested. I think even if i was in a relationship with someone i loved that still doesnt change the possibility that they could be carrying and STD and give it to me, or cheat and give it to me.

You can get herpes even if the person you are active with has never shown any symptoms.. they can't test for herpes if it never shows up. What is going to defend you from that?

 

I would much rather contract some nasty incurable disease that will slowly, painfully destroy my body and turn it into living decay from someone i wasnt attatched to, rather than someone i loved.

 

Life is strange.. death will take you in many ways. On a long enough timeline the human survival rate drops to zero. I could leave my job right now and get run over by a truck and killed. Or lose my arm in a freak accident at work and it change my life forever.. you can't win them all. I accept that. Of course maybe i am a hypocryte because i am insistant on wearing a seat belt every time i get in my car and a helmet every time i go ride.. huh thats weird i know.

[Hope75]

You can get herpes even if the person you are active with has never shown any symptoms.. they can't test for herpes if it never shows up. What is going to defend you from that?

 

FYI,

 

They can test for Herpes and they don't need an active outbreak to do so.

 

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[Jeen]

What do you suggest to someone considering having sex with a new partner or who may be at risk of an STD?

 

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[pinkelephant]

It is hard to contract HIV/ AIDs. Even my biology agreed. This thread is scaring me though, I'm getting tested on Monday as soon as they open. >

[Pocket Rocket]

carriebradshawny - In areas around southern Asia women are contracting HIV at a very rapid rate because their husbands have extramarital affairs and pass it onto them. If I'm not mistaken, affairs have been around since the beginning of man, so this is a difficult problem to tackle

 

pinkelephant - even if HIV is hard to contract, would you want to take the risk? Consider that people may sleep with one partner several times, is that kind of risk really worth taking consider the lifetime you'll have to deal with this following?

[pinkelephant]

Who or what gave you that impression? If it were so hard to contract then we wouldn't have the outstanding #s of HIV/AIDS infected individuals, nor would parts of Africa be reeling from the epidemic.

 

my biology teacher gave me that impression. well, in africa it's different. things are messed there.

 

 

and uh im not sure what part of my post suggested that i would ever take the risk?? lol. which is why i said i'm getting tested as soon as the place open on monday. silly.

[Batya33]

I would never accept paperwork unless we had been dating steadily for a few months at least, he had not been with anyone else for at least 6 months, and got tested before we decided we were ready to "go there." If at that point I could not or did not trust him to show me accurate paperwork I would know that he was not the right person for me (never happened, just saying, hypothetically - I've gotten to know the few men I was with well before taking that step).

[JadedStar]

I don't find this practice to be useless at all...what this shows is not a person is 100% STD free but it shows the person is responsible enough to actually get tested...this absolutely does NOT mean i would have unprotected sex with that person tho.....as a matter of fact i wouldn't ask for it in an online profile i would ask for it before becoming intimate.

 

People who are responsible about this might be more prone to having safer sex. It is not a guarantee of course, but just one more measure to protect oneself...

 

If i find myself single again i won't have sex with a person who didn't get tested. I value my health too much. And some of these diseases out there are nasty.

[BronzedSkin123]

how is it hard to contract HIV? I learn something new everyday..

[annie24]

how is it hard to contract HIV? I learn something new everyday..

 

that's an interesting topic, not one that has a very clear cut answer. reason? we can't go around infecting people with different amounts of HIV and figure out what is the dose necessary to get someone sick. some bacteria and viruses need a huge number (thousands of particles) to cause an infection, others as little as a few dozen particles.

 

Having sex with an HIV infected person doesn't gaurantee you will get it, 100%. but do you really want to play russian roulette with your life? some sexual activities are safer than others. direct blood contact has the highest risk. ie, sharing IV needles and anal sex are very high risk - the anal area doesn't have natural lubrication like the vagina, making rips and tears more likely, and exchage of fluids. vaginal sex is also risky. oral sex is less risky, but the chance is still there. it is accepted that you can't get HIV from kissing, unless maybe both of your lips are bleeding.

 

So, i don't know what to tell you, there are conflicting numbers on the topic, because we just can't know for sure and test humans (way not ethical!) The risk exists and it is real.

 

Think about it this way - how many people play the powerball when there is a multimillion dollar jackpot, even if their chance is 1 in 20 million. Your chances of contracting HIV from having sex are waaaaayyyy better than that. So why do people play the powerball, thinking they have a shot at it, while some people think they have little risk at HIV?

 

And note, there are tons of other STDs out there. Some that may lay silent for years, like chlamydia (75% of women who have it are asymptomatic). many don't find out they have it until they try to get pregnant and cannot because it has made them sterile.

[BronzedSkin123]

Lately, the public announcements on the radio and television are blasting like loud sirens stating that Black women are contracting HIV at alarming rates. This message is on urban radio stations all day. The message they are sending is that the disease is easy to catch and spreading fast. Unless they are exaggerating if so why?

 

I've heard so many things regarding HIV, I don't know what to believe. It seemed like years ago back in the 80s people who caught HIV/AIDS were dropping like flies, now they're saying you can have it for years and not know it, not get sick and live a productive life. It doesn't make sense to me. how can you have hiv/aids for years without treatment and not get sick?

[Batya33]

I think it's because there's a difference between having the virus in your system - the antibodies - and having it develop into full blown AIDS.

[Dako]

HIV/AIDS are actually two things. HIV is a virus that can lay dormant for years before erupting into symptoms such as Kaposi's sarcoma, announcing a case of AIDS. At that point, the sufferer is unable to resist many illnesses the rest of us are immune to, and a simple cold or flu can turn deadly.

 

I lost a few friends to AIDS when it was the new killer on the block, and the treatments have improved, but don't cure the syndrome.

 

After seeing people wither and die, I'd prefer to avoid contracting HIV. Some people just consider it a scare tactic and are cavalier about latex and testing.

Good luck to you.

[BronzedSkin123]

I think it's because there's a difference between having the virus in your system - the antibodies - and having it develop into full blown AIDS.

 

the main message back then was that if you had hiv/aids you were gonna die, and they showed plenty examples of people who did. nowadays it's like the message is that you can have hiv forever and not know it.

[BronzedSkin123]

HIV/AIDS are actually two things. HIV is a virus that can lay dormant for years before erupting into symptoms such as Kaposi's sarcoma, announcing a case of AIDS. At that point, the sufferer is unable to resist many illnesses the rest of us are immune to, and a simple cold or flu can turn deadly.

 

They didn't really explain all that a long time ago. It was like HIV/AIDS = death. and then they'd show footage of people who had it and were in the hospital dying. the message back then was clearly different from the one now.

 

I lost a few friends to AIDS when it was the new killer on the block, and the treatments have improved, but don't cure the syndrome.

 

After seeing people wither and die, I'd prefer to avoid contracting HIV. Some people just consider it a scare tactic and are cavalier about latex and testing.

Good luck to you.

 

how long did your friend have hiv before it turned to aids??