The No Contact Paradox, what do I do now?

[ycmanvs]

He called me at 1.30 am this morning and left a message that we should talk. I have been in no contact for two weeks. I do not want to talk to him. All those times when I tried to call him and left him messages, when we were together...and he was out with other women or online, gaming...all those times he ignored me....

 

Now, that I broke up with him...now he wants to talk to me.

 

Such is the NO CONTACT PARADOX. When you finally give up and move on with your life, that is when they try to talk to you.

 

Too little, too late.

 

What would you do? Would you bother calling back or emailing? I just do not see the point.

[beauty21]

I wouldn't call him back if I was absolutely sure that I wasn't going to give him another chance. If you are sure this is what you want to do, then don't call him back. You already know what he wants. If I were you though, I wouldn't give that guy another second of my time. And things may be rough for you right now, and may seem easier to just talk to him, but if you do you will set yourself back. Don't undo all the progress you have made.

[Weeblie]

DON'T CALL HIM.

 

He called you at 1:30am. You've been in NC for two weeks.

 

Think about it. It took him two weeks to finally get in touch with you? Pffft! I say take your time in responding. Let him sweat it out. Besides. He called you at 1:30 am, when you, like most normal people would've been in bed. Who calls at such a time? Drunks, horny exes, and people who need to be bailed out of jail.

 

There is no reason for you to call him back. He hasn't done anything worthy of a response.

[ycmanvs]

DON'T CALL HIM.

 

He called you at 1:30am. You've been in NC for two weeks.

 

Think about it. It took him two weeks to finally get in touch with you? Pffft! I say take your time in responding. Let him sweat it out. Besides. He called you at 1:30 am, when you, like most normal people would've been in bed. Who calls at such a time? Drunks, horny exes, and people who need to be bailed out of jail.

 

There is no reason for you to call him back. He hasn't done anything worthy of a response.

 

LOL, that is SO TRUE.

He did send an email on Wednesday, but I did not respond to that either. The way I see it: If he could not communicate during the relationship, why should I be nice to him now, when it is OVER?

[ycmanvs]

I know what will happen next. He will try to contact my friends. He will show up at my house. He will try to send me gifts. This happens every time I break up with someone.

I took a break from him last year and that is when I joined ENA, but I made the mistake of answering his calls last time. I learned my lesson. No Contact works best for me.

[yellow_sweater]

I do not want to talk to him.

 

There is your answer. I know you know it, but sometimes it helps to type it out and see it right in front of you.

 

So, there it is again. Straight from your fingertips. You do what YOU need and want to do from now on.

 

YS

[Clabs]

Hey ycmanvs

 

I am glad that you are finally seeing through all of this. Weebly is spot on there - normal people do not call in the middle of the night!

 

It sounds like you are going to be far better off without this jerk.

 

Mark

[ycmanvs]

Hey ycmanvs

 

I am glad that you are finally seeing through all of this. Weebly is spot on there - normal people do not call in the middle of the night!

 

It sounds like you are going to be far better off without this jerk.

 

Mark

 

Thank you so much for the validation. I am sure he was drunk when he called. Bars close at 1am around here, so after he got home, he called. He knows that I turn my ringer off when I go to sleep, and he also knows that I do not want to talk to him.

It took him 2 weeks to finally miss me....he thinks we should talk....I do not want to hear from him at all, so I am hoping that eventually he will give up and find someone else to abuse emotionally.

[Clabs]

Hey ycmanvs!

 

No worries - but I think you already knew this and it appears you have everything under control - good for you!

 

Mark