Jump to content

Problems at the Christmas Party?

sfindependent

Recommended Posts

sfindependent Mentor

sfindependent

Posted
Posted

ENA!

 

thank you so much for your support. if it werent for a lot of you, I would not have survived my already too hectic, crazy and drama filled love life!

 

Im sure a lot of you have dated someone from the work place... and I am one of those people who've made an honest mistake of S'ng in the place i eat. In short things didnt work out between us and I've managed to avoid her for almost a month now in such a small building.

 

But tomorrow is the xmas party. And just thinking about it now is making me a nervous wreck.

 

I'm not going to bring a date since I believe that its the "right" way of doing things. I'm not going to be petty and I'm not gonna be the one to rub it in her face that "i can find someone better than you". In fact, I still feel (ugh) hurt everytime I think of what happened and how she really treated me.

 

anyway, any suggestions as to what I should do? I love the company i work in and I don't want to make her think I'm not man enough to move on from what happened between us. So far she broke NC to give me a gift about 2 weeks ago and that was the last I heard from her.

 

thanks!

jengh Experienced

jengh

Posted
Posted

I don't know... I'd just avoid her as much as possible. Be friendly, but not overly-so.

Don't miss the party on her account. Don't drink too much and do anything stupid (you know what I'm getting at).

Jen

BeStrongBeHappy Experienced

BeStrongBeHappy

Posted
Posted

why don't you bring a friend to the party? you don't have to do it to play games, but just get on with your life...

 

and if it is totally traumatic, you don't have to go, or can go for a few minutes and leave. you can always say you have another party...

 

by this time next year you won't care, so if it is truly traumatic, don't go this year. but you most likely will meet her sooner or later by accident somewhere, so it will happen sooner or later.

jengh Experienced

jengh

Posted
Posted

I don't know, I think he should go. With as much as he loves his job, his boss, everything...i think he'd be missing out. don't "trip" about it

sfindependent Mentor

sfindependent

Posted
  • Author
Posted

thanks jen!

 

I know, i'm not gonna drink.. if i will, i wont over do it. this is my job-job and I dont want to lose it over my alkie-ness.

 

I am going there with my boss. She knows what's going on with me and what i'm going through with her (my ex) and she's very supportive.

 

no coffee for me tomorrow (to add to anxiety)

 

am i doing the right thing of showing up? I hope i will be strong. in anycase, if im not at work, i dont find myself thinking about her anymore, i try to move on with my life but i dont know where to get the oomph to actually kick her out of my system.

jengh Experienced

jengh

Posted
Posted

If I were you, I wouldn't drink at all...maybe ONE drink...but no more... you get crazy after a few.

Good that you're going with your boss. She'll help you, I bet.

I'm glad you're not thinking about her as much when outside of work...shows you're moving on (and I'm not just saying that because I want you all for myself!!!)

I don't know that you'll be able to kick her out of your system completely... some relationships...that just never happens

Crazyaboutdogs Proficient

Crazyaboutdogs

Posted
Posted

Absolutely go to your work Christmas party. If you get along well with your boss that is very important. Show your boss that you are tough and that you are not going to run away from seeing your ex. At the party you can be polite to your ex but you don't have to mingle with her. Just mingle with the others. Don't go out of your way to avoid her because that will look obvious...just be very professional.

sfindependent Mentor

sfindependent

Posted
  • Author
Posted

oh yeah, she gave me a gift for my bday when she went to Hawaii a few weeks ago, shoot, my bday was in Oct. good thing i already bought her a xmas gift and I handed it to her on the spot

 

i gave her a small cutie christmas tree and told her "i know we wont be spending christmas together, and I know you wont be going to decorate your house, so i thought this might be a nice touch" that was two weeks ago. never heard,seen her since. Man talk about personality. I gotta find me better ex girlfriends

jengh Experienced

jengh

Posted
Posted
oh yeah, she gave me a gift for my bday when she went to Hawaii a few weeks ago, shoot, my bday was in Oct. good thing i already bought her a xmas gift and I handed it to her on the spot

 

i gave her a small cutie christmas tree and told her "i know we wont be spending christmas together, and I know you wont be going to decorate your house, so i thought this might be a nice touch" that was two weeks ago. never heard,seen her since. Man talk about personality. I gotta find me better ex girlfriends

 

I think that's why they call them ex-girlfriends...none of them are good, love.

jengh Experienced

jengh

Posted
Posted
i just hope id look fly tomorrow, be suave, and be a lady killer (not the killer killer but, whatevs) hahhahaha.

 

plus hopefully me and my boss sit with a different department...

 

just wear your best clothes (preferably not the ones from the homeless!), take deep breaths, and....think happy thoughts, lady killer!

CarnelianButterfly Veteran

CarnelianButterfly

Posted
Posted

I had to deal with some thing similar, I went to the party and had a good time. I didn't talk to the guy, but I didn't act rude to him (said excuse me when I bumped him, crowded kitchen food rush).

 

I just didn't spend time near him. If he came into a room I didn't leave, I just would turn my back to him and talk more with the people I was talking to. It was more awkward for him I think when the guy he was giving a ride to stopped to chat with me and left him standing at the door.

 

Don't drink a lot, but drink a little, it will relax the nerves. Focus on the people you do enjoy being around, spend time with them, have fun and don't let her steal your joy.

Crazyaboutdogs Proficient

Crazyaboutdogs

Posted
Posted

These things tend to be uncomfortable even when the situation is simply two friends who had a fight, are no longer friends and then happen to be at the same function. When things did not end well between two people, no matter what kind of relationship it was (a former couple, two friends, family members) being at the same gathering is going to be awkward.

sfindependent Mentor

sfindependent

Posted
  • Author
Posted

yup agree with ^ point. I just feel weird seeing her, knowing how she thinks of me. Its more like I am better than you think I am! I know I'll be fine, as long as the initial contact wont be too dramatic. I hope she doesnt bring a date tho. That would just be kinda wrong in an uncourteous way. I'm not bringing a date to respect her. I hope she does the same for me.

ellestar Rookie

ellestar

Posted
Posted

good thing at my company's christmas party, we cannot bring a date or significant other. i ran into my ex last night and he said he expected to see me in the karaoke corner at the party (cause I like to sing) and i just shrugged saying i had a show tonight so not sure if I'll make the party (but i knew i would come, albeit at around 11 p.m.). good thing also, most of our mutual friends will not be there, so i won't hvae to share. but if i see him, i'll just nod hello and that is all.

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

Go to topic listing
×
×
  • Create New...