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My girlfriend has a porn addiction. Help!

jettison

By jettison
in Infidelity

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jettison Community Regular

jettison

Posted
Posted

I hear everyone giving advice to the women of ENA on how to cope with their SO's addiction to porn. However, what does one do if their GF is addicted to porn? I've searched far and wide, but I've yet to see anyone address the topic.

 

I've already caught my GF red-handed twice this week. I feel manipulated, cheated, and violated. Not sure what to think anymore. If anyone can give me some advice then I'd really appreciate it.

 

Thx in advance.

 

BTW, this should give you some background.

 

link removed

Jonboy582 Rising Star

Jonboy582

Posted
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Just because you have court her on porn twice does not mean she is addicted. Is there anything else that leads you to believe she is actually addicted?

 

And as for feeling cheated etc etc. Have you told her? Because if it bothers you tell her.

jettison Community Regular

jettison

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Just because you have court her on porn twice does not mean she is addicted. Is there anything else that leads you to believe she is actually addicted?

 

And as for feeling cheated etc etc. Have you told her? Because if it bothers you tell her.

 

That's some very sage advice during this most difficult time. I should really just talk to her about it.

jettison Community Regular

jettison

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comminications is the best medicine!

talk to her....she can probably give you better answer on why and what to do then we can! get inside her head se whats going on!

 

You're right Mox... communication! I should never forget that. Can't keep this inside where it is likely to just eat away at me.

CarnelianButterfly Veteran

CarnelianButterfly

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Jetti....i detect a ruse.

 

I reported the post because of the "porn" link. After I read the user name I regretted that. Sorry.

 

The link isn't porn. Not even close, its just a bunch of junk made up to look like a porn site.

JadedStar Collaborator

JadedStar

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I reported the post because of the "porn" link. After I read the user name I regretted that. Sorry.

 

The link isn't porn. Not even close, its just a bunch of junk made up to look like a porn site.

 

I never even opened the link but knew. LOL Jetti needs 100 ENA spankings.

wiser Apprentice

wiser

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I reported the post because of the "porn" link. After I read the user name I regretted that.

 

You did the right thing. I checked the site and there is indeed a naked finger on there.

tiredofvampires Proficient

tiredofvampires

Posted
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Jetts,

I have to say, you have started threads about this girl that show a double-standard. For instance, you have asked her to use strap-ons with you, while you are covered in mayonaise, and when she said the mayonaise is a real turn-off for her, you continued to "whine and complain" (your words) that she isn't adventuresome enough. As I recall (but I could be wrong, so correct me if I am), after that you started to withhold sex altogether, saying you didn't know how you could do it with someone so selfish.

 

So is it surprising to you that now she is trying to find another outlet? I mean, judging by the looks of this board, you can see that porn use often does co-exist with a down-turn in the relationship in SOME form or fashion. And then again, sometimes it's just normal and part of an otherwise healthy relationship, so long as neither party is being neglected in the real bedroom.

I don't know if she really is going for the porn because she is frustrated and feeling rejected at this point, or whether she truly likes the porn and hasn't disclosed it to you. Being a porn-lover myself, I can see where she'd be coming from.

 

My suggestion is that you decide on a happy middle ground: and yes, communication here is key. Communication is key to keeping any kind of relationship alive, and I mean ANY. Decide what each of you really wants, fantasy-wise and incorporate a bit of what she wants and a bit of what you want, as it seems you both have an addiction to sexuality beyond the missionary position.

 

So, for instance, you could let her watch one of those "bare-chested tree-trimmer" sex videos, while she has you bent over, and if she is ok with Miracle Whip, use that instead of mayonaise.

 

It's all about compromise. If you learn this now, you will have a much better relationship all around.

wiser Apprentice

wiser

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For instance, you have asked her to use strap-ons with you, while you are covered in mayonaise

 

Why mayonaise? Why not tartar sauce, or horseradish sauce for example?

tiredofvampires Proficient

tiredofvampires

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Well, I think those would be good "compromises", actually. But the OP seemed to be saying that he was quite partial to mayonaise. I felt that this was a little myopic of him, so I agree with your position on this.

 

Though I can see where tartar sauce might not be as spreadable, and horseradish might be classified more in the S&M category. Especially if it was wasabi.

 

I think you make a good point, though, and I hope the OP is listening. Rep pts. for you. Creative thinking is everything in a good relationship.

Sweet Buttabean Jellayroll Enthusiast

Sweet Buttabean Jellayroll

Posted
Posted
I hear everyone giving advice to the women of ENA on how to cope with their SO's addiction to porn. However, what does one do if their GF is addicted to porn? I've searched far and wide, but I've yet to see anyone address the topic.

 

I've already caught my GF red-handed twice this week. I feel manipulated, cheated, and violated. Not sure what to think anymore. If anyone can give me some advice then I'd really appreciate it.

 

Thx in advance.

 

BTW, this should give you some background.

 

link removed

 

why do you feel manipulated?

why do you feel cheated?

why do you feel violated?

 

i know PORN, but what about it makes you feel that way?

is it the addiction?

 

ask yourself those questions.......

 

personally, i dont think its an issue, a turn on maybe. but you clearly are repulsed by this so its a big issue for you.

jettison Community Regular

jettison

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Vamp,

 

I stopped reading after "mayonaise". This just shows that you haven't really read anything about my problems. We used mustard. How many times did I have to put that in my posts?!?! Did you just ignore what I wrote all together? Mustard!

 

In any case, I would never employ mayo, or worse still, Miracle Whip in my sex life. Seriously, that's downright disturbing. It's a poor excuse for a condiment. Mustard only. Mustard goes on hot dogs. Mayo is for buns.

 

As for the strap-on, I'll thank you to keep my personal life off of ENA. I'm no less of a man just because I like to experiment occasionally.

jettison Community Regular

jettison

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why do you feel manipulated?

 

It was the first word that popped into my head while I was crying.

 

why do you feel cheated?

 

Because the men on that website look more doughy-eyed then me. I can't compete.

 

why do you feel violated?

 

Because I wish she would have shared her fetish with me. She's taken away a level of trust with this one.

 

i know PORN, but what about it makes you feel that way?

is it the addiction?

 

Good question. It's probably the pearl necklaces.

 

 

ask yourself those questions.......

 

I have. Now what?

 

personally, i dont think its an issue, a turn on maybe. but you clearly are repulsed by this so its a big issue for you.

 

Really? Have you seen how vile that site is?! You'd be ok with your girl going there two or three times a week to get herself off in secrecy? You're a better man then I.

tiredofvampires Proficient

tiredofvampires

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Vamp,

 

Mayo is for buns.

 

Maybe that's what confused me into thinking mayo. My mind was clouded, but now I remember. Sorry I mixed it up so. My bad!

 

As for the strap-on, I'll thank you to keep my personal life off of ENA. I'm no less of a man just because I like to experiment occasionally

 

YOU'RE the one that brought it up on ENA! At least I didn't bring up that toes thing. I am a very discrete person.

 

I'm just saying, be fair and equal: you have your mustard, let her have her man-with-a-fly-swatter video.

catwalk Apprentice

catwalk

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ummm, sorry to hear about your sitch jettison...... but thanks for the link!

 

I've been interested in seeing some porn directed at women. I really dislike porn, I think mainly because it is entirely directed at men and you can totally tell!

 

As for your gf, there must be something! I'm sure you can talk it through, and lose the 'I'm not as good as them' attitude, it's very unattractive! Stand up and say 'Let ME do those things to you!'

jettison Community Regular

jettison

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ummm, sorry to hear about your sitch jettison...... but thanks for the link!

 

I've been interested in seeing some porn directed at women. I really dislike porn, I think mainly because it is entirely directed at men and you can totally tell!

 

As for your gf, there must be something! I'm sure you can talk it through, and lose the 'I'm not as good as them' attitude, it's very unattractive! Stand up and say 'Let ME do those things to you!'

 

You're right, NOT attractive. I can totally give pearl necklaces just as well as the guys on that website. I'm good enough.

 

Thx catwalk!

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