Condoms..any help?

[Just A Teen]

Alright sorry for another post like this.. You might have seen ( i doubt it) my post before about having troubles getting hard..thats not the issue anymore..now it's staying hard with a condom on... i kinda hate myself for it our first time lasted 1 minute because i couldn't stay hard cuz the damn condom...and then tonight again 1 minute cuz the damn thing... Even with her on top.. we've tried everything... smaller condoms no help, putting lube outside or inside the condom, extremely dirty talking, everythinggg you can imagine.. tried different types.

 

She's on birthcontrol and we both are clean she's just very paranoid as am I... Any helpers?

[rockr]

sounds like you are nervous when having sex. most of the problem is in your mind rather than down there. enjoy sex and have fun , have foreplay and spend some good time with her in bed and not just sex , more comfortable you get with her , the easier it will be.

it gets better with experience also.

[android12]

yea it seems like ur thinking about things too much, in your head sayin "please stay hard, please stay hard" which is killing the moment. i dunno if this helps but its worth a try, maybe you could let ur gf blindfold you and let her explore, working on you herslef. then she can get on top when its hard and she puts the condom on and go from there...that way u build trust and also you can learn to let go a little and your not always thinking about your next move etc...she can lead the way and you won't know whats happening next...can be quite exciting

[Just A Teen]

Ya that is kinda true with the whole mind thing. Well the only other thing is like I hear my parents walking around or anything that sparks family and it's an instant turn off. completely soft, the whole "chance of being caught" isn't hot to me.

[Lucy_lou]

I was listening to Dan Savage's sex advice podcast this week and the same problem came up. His advice was that you're not supposed to put the condom on right before sex, because the slightly colder temperature of the condom will inevitably make you go soft, just like cold water in the shower. So you're supposed to put it on way beforehand, and have some fun for a while, stroke yourself, keep making out, and soon it will have warmed up to your body temp and go hard again in it's own sweet time. common problem apparently, cause a lot of guys (especially the ones with attitude problems when it comes to rubbers) hold out until just before they're about to go in before putting one on.

[servedcold]

Lots of women like to warm up with some missionary, and that position is very stimulative to the man. Just do some unsheathed missionary, then put the condom on when you change positions. Do not do this if you have premature ejaculation issues. Another thing to try would be to let her put it on while she is giving you a HJ or BJ during foreplay. Best wishes.

[ghost69]

put a picture of some girl you completely think is ugly behind the bed post. look up at it. last throughout the night.

[v8vachon]

I dont think your problem is the condom. Maybe deep inside you just so badly dont want to use a condom that it makes it difficult for you to enjoy sex. My advice is this. Try putting the condom on at the very last minute right before penetrating. Do plenty of foreplay and have the condom ready by your side. Using a condom is the best thing for you and your partner...and you should use one everytime. Pregnancy is the last of your worries... when you think about all the STD's youcan catch. There are STD's with no symptoms at all that could affect you therest of your life. Embrace using a condom as a positive thing in your life. Use one everytime!.. you will get used to it and eventually your anxieties will fade. Good Luck!

[wiser]

OP, I do in fact think your problem is the condom. I have never been comfortable with the condom. The whole process of putting it on, the decrease in sensitivity, loss of the mood...I would go soft almost immediately.

 

As a result, I have not used birth control with most of the women I have been with over the years. They have either been on the pill, had hysterectomies, used other forms of birth control including a diaphram, or I used the withdrawal method (not recommended).