How much work is too much?

[efrances]

Long story short, I have been under a lot of pressure since September. I have PTSD and have just started seeing a therapist because it's become too overwhelming. I started pushing my b/f away, I thought because of so much stress. But if I didn't have him to hold me and tell me he loved me no matter what, I don't know if I would have been able to manage as well as I am now.

 

We've been together for about 15 months, and up until September things were great. We only see each other on the weekends, it's a semi-longdistance relationship. But lately I keep thinking about breaking up. It is getting too hard, with him constantly asking me to move to his city, while I always say no, I have to finish school (2.5 more years). He wants me to move there just for the summer, but I do not want to live with him for moral preference and it would be hard to find my own place for such a short term. In addition, with visiting him every weekend, I rarely spend time with friends or family. My family resents him for taking my virginity and taking up my time in general. But when I think about not having him, I worry that I will have nothing to do since I've shunned everyone already. I do love him, and it will seriously kill him if I even ask to take a break.

 

Little things make me upset, and I know he can tell. When I visit him we just hang out on the couch, or when we do actually go out to dinner or something he doesn't make conversation like I would like him to.

 

Sometimes I think it would be best to take a break, catch up and mend my other relationships, but I am one of those girls who really would not want him to date while I figured myself out, and that is not fair at all. I guess I just want to know if I should keep working at this, or if I need some time off...

[Momene]

I don't advocate "breaks" and it is OK to expect a partner not to date on a break, in fact I consider it one of the preconditions. But to be fair to him, too, you must set a time limit on the break as well, not "when I sort myself out".

 

I'd say if you've already slept together. living together is not such a big deal anyway. You haven't given the full story but it seems that you've got other bridges to build regardless of whether you stay with him, have a "break" or not.