ConfusedDater Posted December 13, 2007 Share Posted December 13, 2007 on a Second Date, would you still respond to his emails? Don't want to mess up again and want o ASK QUESTIONS on here first before I do anything. Link to comment
Batya33 Posted December 13, 2007 Share Posted December 13, 2007 If I were definitely not interested in a second date I might respond once to an email that didn't ask me out but with a brief, polite response that didn't open the door to any further responses. Typically though I would either not respond (especially if he had been rude during the date) or respond "thanks for your e-mail - it was great meeting you the other day and it would be nice to stay in touch as friends, but I'll leave that to you." Link to comment
CarnelianButterfly Posted December 13, 2007 Share Posted December 13, 2007 I'd tell him I'm not interested. No use stringing him on. Link to comment
niczeegs Posted December 13, 2007 Share Posted December 13, 2007 I would respond, but let him know that it's not going to work out. Obviously not be so blunt about it. BURY THE BAD NEWS! Link to comment
ConfusedDater Posted December 13, 2007 Author Share Posted December 13, 2007 My email to her was- "Hey Michelle how are you? Just wanted to see how you were doing today at work today. I will call you later this evening. Her response was "It's just a ok day. I been so busy at work all week. How is your day going? Link to comment
shikashika Posted December 13, 2007 Share Posted December 13, 2007 well that email doesn't really answer anything! did you respond after that? Link to comment
ConfusedDater Posted December 13, 2007 Author Share Posted December 13, 2007 well that email doesn't really answer anything! did you respond after that? Yeah I did and I decided to wait until tomorrow to call. Link to comment
wiser Posted December 13, 2007 Share Posted December 13, 2007 You said "on a second date". You mean, "after" a second date, right? So you two went out twice, and she is giving you noncommittal and vague responses. Sounds like a yellow flag anyway. Link to comment
annie24 Posted December 13, 2007 Share Posted December 13, 2007 My email to her was- "Hey Michelle how are you? Just wanted to see how you were doing today at work today. I will call you later this evening. Her response was "It's just a ok day. I been so busy at work all week. How is your day going? you sent a vague e-mail, you got a vague response. Link to comment
wiser Posted December 13, 2007 Share Posted December 13, 2007 you sent a vague e-mail, you got a vague response. That's true. I might have been too fast with waving the yellow flag. She responded to you the way you reached out to her. Link to comment
ConfusedDater Posted December 13, 2007 Author Share Posted December 13, 2007 You said "on a second date". You mean, "after" a second date, right? So you two went out twice, and she is giving you noncommittal and vague responses. Sounds like a yellow flag anyway. No it wasn't only one date Link to comment
wiser Posted December 13, 2007 Share Posted December 13, 2007 No it wasn't only one date Get more assertive if you want more definitive answers. As in, ask her out again. Then you'll know. If you are in doubt, pay careful attention to what she says, take notes even, and post it here. Link to comment
ConfusedDater Posted December 13, 2007 Author Share Posted December 13, 2007 Get more assertive if you want more definitive answers. As in, ask her out again. Then you'll know. If you are in doubt, pay careful attention to what she says, take notes even, and post it here. I rather do that on the phone which will be tomorrow Link to comment
wiser Posted December 13, 2007 Share Posted December 13, 2007 I rather do that on the phone which will be tomorrow Yes, of course by phone. Link to comment
Batya33 Posted December 13, 2007 Share Posted December 13, 2007 My email to her was- "Hey Michelle how are you? Just wanted to see how you were doing today at work today. I will call you later this evening. Her response was "It's just a ok day. I been so busy at work all week. How is your day going? I would find an e-mail like that a bit odd since we were not yet dating regularly - a bit overdoing it (a bit!). I would prefer just a call that evening and ask me out. If you didn't call her that evening I think she should see that as a yellow flag - your words not consistent with your actions. Link to comment
NewPhillyGuy Posted December 13, 2007 Share Posted December 13, 2007 I would find an e-mail like that a bit odd since we were not yet dating regularly - a bit overdoing it (a bit!). I would prefer just a call that evening and ask me out. If you didn't call her that evening I think she should see that as a yellow flag - your words not consistent with your actions. I'm gonna disagree with you there, Batya. There's nothing wrong with him sending an email asking how her day is. However, I think the problem here is that he's trying to assess her interest without being direct in his email. He's trying to gauge her interest in a response, but he's not asking her what he really wants. To OP - you want another date with this girl. At this point, you should not expect her to ask you on a date. You need to ask her directly to get the answer to your question. Call her. Don't ask her out on a date via email. Use those huevos. Call the girl! Link to comment
ConfusedDater Posted December 13, 2007 Author Share Posted December 13, 2007 I'm gonna disagree with you there, Batya. There's nothing wrong with him sending an email asking how her day is. However, I think the problem here is that he's trying to assess her interest without being direct in his email. He's trying to gauge her interest in a response, but he's not asking her what he really wants. To OP - you want another date with this girl. At this point, you should not expect her to ask you on a date. You need to ask her directly to get the answer to your question. Call her. Don't ask her out on a date via email. Use those huevos. Call the girl! I will do that, defintely wasn't going to do it over email Link to comment
Batya33 Posted December 13, 2007 Share Posted December 13, 2007 Well that's what I meant - they know each other only a short time and it is so obvious he is using the e-mail to test her interest. But for me it would be a bit (remember I wrote "a bit") too familiar and too much too soon especially if the first date was a first "meet." Kind of like the guy who called me after a first date - second time we ever met - and said "so how was your day, honey?" Maybe some women would like that but some light yellow flags went up for me - inappropriate after knowing me for a few hours over two evenings to call me "honey" and do the "how was your day" check in call. Confirmed this on the next and final date when he was completely overeager, laughing at any little thing I said and falling all over himself to jump through hoops. Again, some women might like that sort of attention - made me kinda nauseous. Otherwise, I would have liked him and wanted to continue to see him. Link to comment
NewPhillyGuy Posted December 13, 2007 Share Posted December 13, 2007 so how was your day, honey?" Maybe some women would like that but some light yellow flags went up for me - inappropriate after knowing me for a few hours over two evenings to call me "honey" Agree with you on that. I would be weirded out by it too. I would be thinking - what does she REALLY want? Link to comment
ghost69 Posted December 13, 2007 Share Posted December 13, 2007 call her up. i don't see anything wrong in that email. you sent a general question. she generally responded. Link to comment
Brightest Dark Posted December 13, 2007 Share Posted December 13, 2007 My email to her was- "Hey Michelle how are you? Just wanted to see how you were doing today at work today. I will call you later this evening. Her response was "It's just a ok day. I been so busy at work all week. How is your day going? I'd reply to regular emails like that whether I liked the guy or not. I email a lot of people and am friends with a lot of guys (just as friends) though. Link to comment
ConfusedDater Posted December 13, 2007 Author Share Posted December 13, 2007 call her up. i don't see anything wrong in that email. you sent a general question. she generally responded. Well I will be calling in 3 hours so if I hear the voicemail, 9 times out of 10 that' not good Link to comment
ConfusedDater Posted December 13, 2007 Author Share Posted December 13, 2007 I'd reply to regular emails like that whether I liked the guy or not. I email a lot of people and am friends with a lot of guys (just as friends) though. But why waste his time responding if you know you are not interested? That response would be a WASTE of your energy Link to comment
annie24 Posted December 13, 2007 Share Posted December 13, 2007 Well I will be calling in 3 hours so if I hear the voicemail, 9 times out of 10 that' not good wow - you are way overthinking things! what if she is in the shower? or has her phone on silent? or is on the other line with her grandmother? what if she is watching her favorite show (grey's anatomy IS on tonight). to say voicemail = bad, that's just wrong. if she doesn't pick up, leave a message, and tell her to call you back. Link to comment
ConfusedDater Posted December 13, 2007 Author Share Posted December 13, 2007 wow - you are way overthinking things! what if she is in the shower? or has her phone on silent? or is on the other line with her grandmother? what if she is watching her favorite show (grey's anatomy IS on tonight). to say voicemail = bad, that's just wrong. if she doesn't pick up, leave a message, and tell her to call you back. I will leave a message, i'm just saying that when it comes to a guy like me who is 0-4 on his last 4 dates hearing a voicemail when automacially make me think she is staring at my number and not picking up. Now I will give it to Monday, if I don't hear anything by monday she was defintely get a unpleasdant for wasting my time Link to comment
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