Dumpers:

[lenny1]

Has anyone ever broke up with a partner because they believed that they no longer felt the same about them, only for them to later realise theyd made a mistake and regretted things? Or does anyone know anyone who this has happened to?

[backagain]

yup happened to me....the ex broke up with me with the "i love you but not in love with you" tacky excuse 2 yrs ago for another guy....

 

came back after 2 months, said she couldn't hold back her feelings anymore...

 

fast forward to a month ago, broke up with me again with the same tacky, immature excuse...but this time PLUS another line "i dunno if i EVER fell back in love with you?" ??????? r u kiddin me woman? the funny thing was, when she wanted to get back together the first time, she said "i NEVER fell OUT of love with you..."

 

what a joke...total of my life wasted = 4 yrs.

 

hope u got the pt of my story

[BetterKarma]

Same here with me.

 

Ex broke up 2 years ago saying he didn't feel the same anymore, not the relationship type of person...blah blah....

 

Came begging back after 3 months "can't live without you...always knew you were the one for me...blah blah..." 2 months ago he pulled the same crap.

 

Total time together = 4 years.

 

He wants to come back again, but enough is enough. I'm moving on and happier for it.

[CreoUCLA]

Were the issues/problems resolved when you got back together? Or did you get back together right away (old relationship)?

 

-Mike-

[LFG]

Lenny1 -

 

I think that this is the hardest breakup to accept and get over - that the person you love is no longer in love with you, or worse still, never was. When people cheat or are abusive, it is easier to channel the anger and to accept that the person is not right for us. However, when there is not really a solid reason for being angry, you feel like there is nothing to flight for or against. It is a lost cause and absolutely devastating. Getting over it feels like learning to write with the other hand.

 

So to answer your question, I have only been in this situation as a dumper once and my decision was final. The spell was broken and there is no way I could have romantic feelings for him again. However, in this same case, I don't think I was ever really in love with him. I have never dumped someone I was completely in love with. In the two cases I was in love I was the dumpee.

 

LFG

[backagain]

there r alot of causes for my breakup...obviously i had faults in it as well..

 

but in the end, A HUGE REASON for my breakup was due to her personal issues such as depression eating disorder low self-esteem...etc....

 

these severe issues of her made her extremely hard to trust (which made me really paranoid and had lack of trust = seemed controlling to her), and these things led her to make alot of bad decisions (fool around with any random guy that walks in her door and think its alright to be s**tty) and placing herself in dangerous situations where she can easily be taken advantage of (which she wouldn't say "no" anyways b/c she was always scared of saying no to ppl, even to advancing guys with bad intentions) she even places her trust into her 50 something yrs old pedaphile manager claiming "he's a friend!" when the dude clearly is sick in his mind and wants more... altho i have to admit......i became a person i didn't even recognize myself (realized that last night thank you very much)...i became very protective (due to above reason), alot of ppl have said "you have to allow her to make those mistakes" HELL NO NOT IF MY LOVE IS ON THE LINE! i became very weary of guys callin her DUE to the above reasons........and why didn't i walk away?? cuz i loved her...simple as that, BLIND as that....

 

the list goes on and on and on.....and im sure alot of ppl will be offended, but im gonna say these problems/bad decisions are ALL due to her lack of self-esteem, severe depression and constant eating disorder......the funny thing was? she was very beautiful, but she never believed me that i loved her, and she was very obsessive at least until the month before breaking up with me...

 

im still tryin to get my head around the fact she's trusting her pedaphile manager....

[dqueen]

Well, I was originally the dumpee in my last relationship but I later became the dumper in the end. My ex and I were on the verge of the breakup and finalised it. I learned that I had to accept it and move on, and got the closure I needed. About 5 weeks later, ex contacts me telling me he loves me, can't live without me, yada yada...and that's when his mind games started. I got sick of it that I, in turn, refused him and so I sort of felt like the dumper. Boy, did it feel good!!!! Believe me, it hurts either way. He cheated on me but I was still in love with him. However, my dumping him was necessary because I wanted the mind games to stop. Don't say something hurtful to/about me, only to take it back the next day and start the vicious cycle over and over again. With that said, I'm done. Done done done. Now to move on...that's the worst part. But eventually, I will get there.