Not sure what to do

[livinginsbi]

Here's my situation. I have a FWB, no actually a co worker WB. We had a good working relationship and didn't know that much about each other, but had a great chemistry and a whole lot of fun just 'messing' around.

 

I left that job in September and we decided a few weeks after I quit that we may actually like each other and want to start a 'real' relationship. It's been a little weird, but things are going well.

 

My problem is this - his manliness is not all that big. I have no complaints, size does matter to a certain degree, but he knows how to use what he has and that's what really matters. Anyway - When we were just messing around, I had told him 'how big' he is, etc, etc. Well, now that we have an acutal relationship forming - I feel like I'm not being honest with him.

 

I am very happy with him and tell him he's an awesome lover (because he is!), but now what?

 

Tell me guys - is this a big deal? I mean I would never tell him outright that he is less than anything or am I over-reacting.

 

Thanks

[CarnelianButterfly]

Don't mention it, but don't lie. If he's an excellent lover, tell him that. Focus on his positives and just forget about his size.

[ghost69]

omg, don't crush him by saying anything. but i don't see how this changed. you had a FWB and had no problem. now it's a problem in an actually relationship with the guy. i find this weird. i think now that the excitement has worn off, you are starting to see things you overlooked now that it's coming to be serious.

[livinginsbi]

Oh NO! It's not a problem at all. He is such a terrific guy and he is a fantastic lover! It's just when the 'bedroom' talk starts he likes it when I say how 'big' he is. I guess I'm probably worried over nothing. I'd never hurt him by just saying he's not big!

 

I've started saying more things like how 'great' he is instead of how 'big', I feel like that's more honest. He's never mentioned the difference and oh no, the excitement is even more present, since it's all out in the open now. I mean sneaking around was adventureous, but now that it's a realtionship and the fact that he wants everyone to know is fantastic!

 

I didn't mean to sound as the fact that he is small is a problem, it's more of a 'how honest is too honest issue.

[TheSmilingTurnip]

Basically, here's how to decide;

 

is it kind?

is it honest?

is it necessary?

[NewPhillyGuy]

...and you think this is a problem? Go read some other posts on here about people who have REAL relationship problems.

[livinginsbi]

Sorry newphillyguy...

 

that my post is not a problem to you. I am 45 years old and have had more relationship problems than you are years old. So if YOU want to know about REAL relationship problems, just ask me, don't bother reading posts, I can give you more history than you ever care to know.

 

To the rest of you, thanks for your input and not judging the validity of my concern. I know it's not as important as what some people are going through, but it is important to me.

[Zampotne]

If you tell him that you lied about him being big he will be scarred for life.

 

Even if you say it jokingly he will never forget it.

 

There's nothing wrong with giving someone an ego boost, even if it's a little white lie. It's not hurting anyone, and in all reality it is HELPING someone.

 

I bet the reason he wants to you say it all the time is because he spent his entire life thinking he was small, and you have finally come along and made him feel good about himself.

 

Don't ruin that for him. If you really cared about him, you wouldn't.