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Since we are in the age of caller id, is it really necessary for me to leave a

ConfusedDater

By ConfusedDater
in Dating Advice

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ConfusedDater Proficient

ConfusedDater

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message when I call that girl I went on a date with on Monday tonight? I mean she would be able to see I called from the caller id so shouldn;t the messages start when the MUTUAL INTEREST as been confirmed?

 

See I'm trying to do the opposite of what I did with the last girl. When I call tonight I don't want to leave a message if I don't get in touch with her at right now. I did send the email last night but not sure if it was checked yet. Atleast I can say with the last girl the email was responded in the same day.

 

 

 

BTW: I didn't get in her car after the date because I didn't have a real good feeling that she wasn't interested and it was kind of hard to tell. So i didn't want to be in anyone's car who may have just been trying to be nice.

JeckyllNHyde Enthusiast

JeckyllNHyde

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maybe it's best you don't leave a msg but as long as you call back again later.

if your gonna leave a msg then tell her to get back to you when she is free. i would do that if you tried getting hold of her (and not leaving any messeges) and then you just leave it in her hands to get back to you.

JadedStar Collaborator

JadedStar

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I never return a call if someone didn't bother to leave a message. That tells me it wasn't that important and they'll call back whenever....

 

If you want a return call, leave a message. If you don't leave a message and EXPECT a return call that is not right.

 

You don't seem to like to do certain things for a guy who has been talking about his enormous bad luck with dating.

You might want to loosen up the rigidity...a brief message is not the same as bombarding her with messages demanding a return call. This soon in the game if she sees you called w/out leaving a message that might seem odd to her.

ghost69 Mentor

ghost69

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I never return a call if someone didn't bother to leave a message. That tells me it wasn't that important and they'll call back whenever....

 

If you want a return call, leave a message. If you don't leave a message and EXPECT a return call that is not right.

 

You don't seem to like to do certain things for a guy who has been talking about his enormous bad luck with dating.

You might want to loosen up the rigidity...

 

exactly. even my friends do this. then when i see them it's like 'i tried calling you this weekend.' i always say, 'why didn't you leave a message? must not have been that important.'

ConfusedDater Proficient

ConfusedDater

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Personally, I wouldn't leave a message. You can call back in a week if she doesn't respond. Don't overthink, just relax.

 

 

 

exactly, that was my plan, no need to have my voice on her voice mail when I'm not sure if she is even interested

ConfusedDater Proficient

ConfusedDater

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I never return a call if someone didn't bother to leave a message. That tells me it wasn't that important and they'll call back whenever....

 

If you want a return call, leave a message. If you don't leave a message and EXPECT a return call that is not right.

 

You don't seem to like to do certain things for a guy who has been talking about his enormous bad luck with dating.

You might want to loosen up the rigidity...a brief message is not the same as bombarding her with messages demanding a return call. This soon in the game if she sees you called w/out leaving a message that might seem odd to her.

 

 

I guess my main issue with leaving a message is I always feel it's a bad sign if a girl doesn't pick up when you make that first contact after the first date. So I have this foolish feeling while leaving the message since she didn't pick up. But I will do it tonight and see what happens.

JadedStar Collaborator

JadedStar

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I guess my main issue with leaving a message is I always feel it's a bad sign if a girl doesn't pick up when you make that first contact after the first date. So I have this foolish feeling while leaving the message since she didn't pick up. But I will do it tonight and see what happens.

 

It is ok to not leave a message so long as you don't expect her to see the missed call and call you.....I never return a call unless a message was left. Many people are like that.

ghost69 Mentor

ghost69

Posted
Posted
I guess my main issue with leaving a message is I always feel it's a bad sign if a girl doesn't pick up when you make that first contact after the first date. So I have this foolish feeling while leaving the message since she didn't pick up. But I will do it tonight and see what happens.

 

bro, people are busy sometimes. i have to explain this to my friend sometimes. he thinks i stare at my phone and wait for it to ring. they could be napping, at the movies, working out, hanging with family, anything. if you don't hear back from them for a week or so, it's probably a sign of uninterest.

cichlid Experienced

cichlid

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First time you call, don't leave a message. Call back later (next day or in the evening if you called early in the day) and if she doesn't answer leave a quick message.

 

Lots of people don't call me back unless I leave a message. I will call people back so long as I want to talk to them, regardless if a message was left or not.

JadedStar Collaborator

JadedStar

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Not everyone keeps the cell phone on or around them at all times. Mine stays in my handbag and if i don't hear it ring i don't hear it ring. No biggie.

 

I think too many people are a slave to cellphones anyway. People in line at the grocery store can't wait two seconds to get out of the store to yell at their teenagers?

jengh Experienced

jengh

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I agree with Jaded and Ghost...If no message is left, they don't get a call-back. It's that simple. Like a lot of people, I don't have my phone with me at all times. Half the time my cellphone screws up anyways and doesn't show me accurate missed calls so I don't see any point in calling people back unless a message is left.

 

So, yeah...you want a callback, leave a message.

shes2smart Grand Master

shes2smart

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I have a cell phone, but I barely know how to use it. If it was up to me, I wouldn't have it all. I have a landline phone at my house but it doesn't have all the bells and whistles. Heck, I don't even have a long distance carrier on the landline.

 

Point being: Not everyone has caller ID. Granted, I'm likely in the minority on that, but I can't be the only one who finds all these "extras" on our phones nothing more than unnecessary expenses.

 

Even if she does have caller ID, I'll agree with the folks in this thread who have said if someone doesn't leave a message, they automatically assume it's not important.

 

Leave one message and leave it at that.

crookster_man Proficient

crookster_man

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Well.... maybe she doesn't have caller id? And even though this is the age of caller id, common courtosy isn't dead right?

 

Leave a msg, short and sweet. That's what a man would do.

 

"Thanks for last night I had a great time. Give me a shout back at ...., talk to you later"

jenny_mcs Collaborator

jenny_mcs

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I guess my main issue with leaving a message is I always feel it's a bad sign if a girl doesn't pick up when you make that first contact after the first date. So I have this foolish feeling while leaving the message since she didn't pick up. But I will do it tonight and see what happens.

 

OK, this just strikes me as incredibly bizarre. I mean, are you available 24/7 to answer your phone? What about being in a meeting, at the gym, out to dinner, watching a movie, in the shower, walking your dog, taking a nap, talking to a friend, etc?

RayKay Grand Master

RayKay

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Yes leave a message....I don't return a call unless there is a message. Plain and simple.

 

And yikes....she is probably not tied to her phone so is not going to answer if you call her right away....I have a cell but I am not a slave to the damn thing and often have it turned off (or not even with me) as I have other things to do too. If it is that important, someone will leave a message and I can return the call. My boyfriend jokes I never seem to answer when he calls (and probably half the time I don't!) but it is because I am doing something else (in class, with friends, running, phone is off, at work...and so on)...I control my cell phone, it does not control me!

ConfusedDater Proficient

ConfusedDater

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OK, this just strikes me as incredibly bizarre. I mean, are you available 24/7 to answer your phone? What about being in a meeting, at the gym, out to dinner, watching a movie, in the shower, walking your dog, taking a nap, talking to a friend, etc?

 

 

 

I understand what you are saying but someone in my case who has yet to make it to a second date since 2001, it's kind of easy for me to think I'm getting the brush off if they don't answer their phone

JadedStar Collaborator

JadedStar

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Yes leave a message....I don't return a call unless there is a message. Plain and simple.

 

And yikes....she is probably not tied to her phone so is not going to answer if you call her right away....I have a cell but I am not a slave to the damn thing and often have it turned off (or not even with me) as I have other things to do too. If it is that important, someone will leave a message and I can return the call. My boyfriend jokes I never seem to answer when he calls (and probably half the time I don't!) but it is because I am doing something else (in class, with friends, running, phone is off, at work...and so on)...I control my cell phone, it does not control me!

 

HA HA! I heard that. I am EXACTLY the same way!

JadedStar Collaborator

JadedStar

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I understand what you are saying but someone in my case who has yet to make it to a second date since 2001, it's kind of easy for me to think I'm getting the brush off if they don't answer their phone

 

This is why i don't understand why you are not more flexible when you say "no emails once you have met face to face" and not leaving a phone message when you call.

 

Man you gotta be more flexible than this!

ConfusedDater Proficient

ConfusedDater

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This is why i don't understand why you are not more flexible when you say "no emails once you have met face to face" and not leaving a phone message when you call.

 

Man you gotta be more flexible than this!

 

well i became a little flexible today and sent a email asking how her day is going and she responded and ask me the same question

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