Split up for 3 weeks...talking again

[GT7212]

Hello all,

 

My GF of 2 years broke up with me 3 weeks ago and yesterday, she admitted she's been foolish and has made a mistake. The only problem is she has had sex with another man during these 3 weeks and it doesn't sit well with me at all. I'm having a hard time accepting this fact and don't know if I can trust this woman with my heart again. I love her to death and the breakup was very sudden and unexpected, primarily due to her attraction for this other guy. She's come clean and admitted she's in the wrong and realizes the mistake again. I have a christmas party for work thats coming up this tuesday. The other guy has one the same night as well and he invited her to come, but she says she wants to go with me. If she does in fact want to get back together, is it worth the pain to try to find what we once lost? Has anyone had a success story similar to this where they were broken up with an ex for a few weeks only to find out they've slept with someone else? Did you get back with them and how did it turn out for you? Thanks!

[CatsMeeoow]

Certainly plenty of people will offer advice on this subject.

 

Bottom line is that it's up to you to let this go.

 

If you try to get back together and don't let this go you'll be broken up again in no time.

 

People make mistakes and she did leave you to figure this out and not like she went behind your back and cheated.

 

I too would have a hard time dealing with something like this... could I get past it? But, I do know until I sorted out my feelings about it I would not reconcile... that's just recipie for disaster.

 

Good luck!

[GT7212]

It's very tough I know. Her own sister tells me i'm setting myself up for disaster. The only reason I would even consider taking her back is b/c she actually had the decency to break up with me first before doing anythign with this other guy. Still its pretty wrong and very disrespectful. I'm very eager to hear advice from others on this matter

[thouse]

Certainly plenty of people will offer advice on this subject.

 

Bottom line is that it's up to you to let this go.

 

If you try to get back together and don't let this go you'll be broken up again in no time.

 

People make mistakes and she did leave you to figure this out and not like she went behind your back and cheated.

 

I too would have a hard time dealing with something like this... could I get past it? But, I do know until I sorted out my feelings about it I would not reconcile... that's just recipie for disaster.

 

Good luck!

I agree, but with one thing for you to think about, it would be different if you guys had broken up because of other issues and she happen to sleep with someone, but to me it is totally something else when they break up with you in order to sleep with somebody else. That would not sit well with me at all.

[thouse]

It's very tough I know. Her own sister tells me i'm setting myself up for disaster. The only reason I would even consider taking her back is b/c she actually had the decency to break up with me first before doing anythign with this other guy. Still its pretty wrong and very disrespectful. I'm very eager to hear advice from others on this matter

There's nothing decent about someone breaking up with a person to sleep with somebody else, and then after they have had their fun come back and say "Oh I made a mistake" I would take that as them playing with my intelligence.

[GT7212]

There's other reasons as to why she broke up with me other than this other person:

 

1) she works a night shift and I work 7am-5:30pm. She just hates we do not have time to spend together on weeknights b/c I have to sleep and she has to work

 

2) Although she is super hot, she has low self esteem and feels I'm not attracted to her. She expects all sorts of compliments everyday ... not that I do not give her compliments ...I do ... but I don't shower them onto her. For this reason, I feel that the attention she got from this other guy really boosted her ego and in turn, made her feel less attracted to me.

 

3) She feels very unmotivated to go out and do things when she has a bf. She doesn't know why but i'm not the only person she's ever felt like that around.

 

Maybe the relationship has just run its course and its time to move on

[rokston]

So she really has realized she's made a mistake and wants to get you back!?

 

Strange that she tells you he's invited her to a xmas party but she'd rather go with you... Is it just me or does this imply if she does not go with you she'll go with him?!?! That wouldn't seem like much of a mistake realization to me but maybe I am just being harsh today!

 

Also her sister telling you that you're setting yourself up should be a warning sign. Why is she doing that, are they close?

[GT7212]

Also her sister telling you that you're setting yourself up should be a warning sign. Why is she doing that, are they close?

 

LOL. ... TWINS!!!! yea i know right? ... no her sister is really cool with me. She likes me a lot and knows I make a good guy for her sister but then again she knows her sister VERY well and just told me that i at least need to give it some time b/c I'd be setting myself up for disaster. This worrys me that her own sister would tell me this. They're so close, and i'm not kidding, that they often predict what the other one will say. Scary isn't it?

[rokston]

scary indeed

 

maybe you should consider speaking with your ex. explain that there are some issues that worry you and that she will have to regain your trust. plus the other guy has to be out of the picture full stop BEFORE you take her back?!

[GT7212]

There's no way that guy will still be around by the time I take her back ... that is IF i do. She has a lot of trust to regain and I just need to decide if I want to put my heart back in this woman's grip

[GT7212]

It's so hard to deal with when you've been in love with this person for 2 years and they present the option of getting back together. Not only that, but she is smookin' hot and has shown me she cares a lot about me in the past. She's very loving and sweet 98% of the time, but this 2% of the time is what's at hand now. We're both of different ethnicities (im asian and she's blonde american), which makes it all the more of an exotic relationship. Then again, it only takes one F*ck up to lose all the trust acquired after 2 years. Maybe its time to part ways for a while and if we do decide to get back into it, we'll reintroduce ourselves and hopefully get to the point where we can again find what we once lost.