My Final Letter plesae advise people more thoughtsthe better

[remainstrong]

(Please advise guys... brief history me and ex split 3 months ago regarding me gambling I havent gambled in last 6 mths in total but we find our selves going no where due to relationship breakdow) lease all read in detail as i love this girl to bits and hope u all understand my analogy i know she will.

 

 

I found the comment regarding me as being Jekyll and Hyde rather upsetting although very true, as did you regarding my comment of me really starting to dislike you.

 

OUR RELATIONSHIP - THE RUBIKS CUBE

 

Definition of a Rubik’s cube for Analogy purposes

The breakdown of 54 parts of a relationship (each one representing a square), i.e. Trust, Honesty, loyalty, togetherness, support, attraction etc

 

Back in November last year if I was to consider my feelings to that of a Rubik’s cube and you the same I felt that there would never ever be a person who would crack my code and get every part of me in the right order . After a rocky start I believe, for me, you did, and I hope I completed you to . If so, for a period of several months we had both managed to find the answer to both cubes and I wish at that point we could have locked them away safely.

 

Unfortunately my “problem” actually took your cube out of its box and messed with it badly but at this point there wasn’t enough damage that with a bit of time and effort I could put everything back in order, my cube was still intact at this time.

 

Then I went and did it again, unfortunately in hindsight there was no way I was going to be able to repair the damage regardless how hard I tried, and in typical fashion I tried to take a short cut and cheat by peeling off the stickers and putting in the right place in the hope of getting back to where we once where. It was a very stupid move on my part that I went down this route and it proves cheats never prosper. At this point my cube was also released from its box and completely messed up, the cubes were in bits. We then hit the point that I started to dislike you and you believed me to be a different person, a guy with a split personality and the love started to fade.

 

The only available option was and is to throw the cubes away, and should the cubes manage to find themselves back together as completed puzzles one day, then start again, without all the problems. Hopefully enough will be learnt from mistakes that the cubes will be treasured in their complete form. I personally would never take your cube out and play with it again, I would also never allow others to do so (You will know what I mean by that as although it was never an issue between us I wouldn’t wish to push such boundaries again).

 

If that ever is the case you need to know the journey you take to get their will have no bearing or relevance to me.

 

If on that journey other people pick up your cube and help you on your way, then I thank them. If somebody else manages to complete you to the point you are happy then I wish you both the best as you said you would for me.

 

I hope this throws a little light on the cube analogy that we spoke about on the phone, I am just trying to make sense of our past present and you never know future.

 

As mentioned I will never ever mention to you again the relationship in any shape way or form this will need to come from you if and when the time is right.

 

You promised me that should this happen you won’t hold back in doing so and I really would like to hold you to this. I would like you to do this regardless of what you may think or hear my situation is at the time as I will be the only one that will be able to give you a true answer to how I’m feeling.

 

From this point on my only thoughts of you with be of a positive nature, also, no ill words will pass my or my families lips where you are concerned. Our conversation last night really cleared the air for me and gave me a clear vision of the road ahead, it will not be easy without you but maybe it’s for the best. Can’t live with you, can’t live without you, but at this moment in time without is definitely for the best, it could only happen to me.

 

Take care XXX

[Crazyaboutdogs]

I like the Rubik's Cube analogy...very clever! Sad about your relationship though. Have you sorted through your problems? Why are you leaving it up to her to initiate any kind of reconciliation? Have you spoken to her about reconciling and she doesn't want? Are you getting help for your gambling problem?

[arwen]

I think if this is something you NEED her to know- it's a good letter. I would just leave out the can't live with you / without you bit at the end. You want her back and this is part of looking if she can forgive you for what has happened in your relationship, right?

 

In addition, I think that writing a letter is merely good for the one who writes it. It has a purpose in itself. What do you expect from her after you send it? Is it wise to send it at all? More importantly, would you feel worse than you do now if she were to chose NOT to respond to the letter? Think about all possible scenario's before you actually send it. If you still agree with all in the letter after a day or two- and still want to send it because it's simply something you need to tell her (I totally understand)- send it.

[remainstrong]

"I like the Rubik's Cube analogy...very clever! Sad about your relationship though. Have you sorted through your problems? Why are you leaving it up to her to initiate any kind of reconciliation? Have you spoken to her about reconciling and she doesn't want? Are you getting help for your gambling problem?"

 

The problem between us is trust this is still not sorted.

 

I have initiated and suceeding on getting back together so many times in last few months, but as she is still all over the place emotionally she cant forgive thats why it now needs to come from her, i did try again and she said no thats what has pushed me to walk away and leave it in her court.

 

I havent gambled for 6 mths and will keep my problem under arest, I seeked help in the form of Gamblers Anonymous GA , this has really helped me not just for gambling but understanding and working with my compulsive personality. HIGHLY RECOMMEND THIS FOR ANYONE WITH SIMILAR PROBLEMS

 

I was never a finacial burden on her and am very lucky to still have a great business just about saved it on my spiral down.

 

 

Thanks Crazyaboutdogs

 

I Have

[remainstrong]

Thanks Arwin, I will send it as I know we are over and accept it... this is 100 percent the case, my tears have all gone and i was starting to dislike her and lose love and if i was im sure she was too.

 

Best for me to agree with her decision to call it a day, but make it known how i feel still in case something is still salvagable maybe next year if not this is fine.

 

I am dating again now and moving on and hope she does the same but my feelings have not gone for her and wanted to let her know this.

 

I dont care how or if she responds , the letter is for her to think about in the future if i am on her mind and let her know door could still be open but she needs to knock it, and for me to have closure which until this point i havent been strong enough to do.

[Crazyaboutdogs]

Yes, I agree, if you have really put in an honest effort, sorted out your issues, done whatever was possible to make amends and had a real heart to heart talk with her and she still can't forgive, then the next move is hers.

[remainstrong]

Letter has been sent, thank you so much for your thoughts girls, now im off to the sunbed to spruce my self up for tomoroows date lol