No Label

[ole21]

Hey guys, so i was going LD with my girlfriend for the past 4 months and everything seemed pretty good, until lately. I guess the past 2 weeks she was just having a really hard time (I could kinda tell) but she didn't know how to tell me. She even had an anxiety attack where she was rushed to the hospital and thought she was going to die. the other day I talked to her and she came out and said that she just can't do it anymore. She said she was crying in bed at night and just couldn't stand seeing me so rarely. For those of you who don't know, she's about 3 hours away in college and we see eachother about once a month.

I was really bummed and cried to her a lot, just becaust there's a lot of * * * * happening in my life right now. We've talked a fair amount in the past day just about how we both feel. she says she's still head over heals in love with me, she just can't have that label. I guess we're going to try being together when we're together and not having that label when we're apart. Before we talked about living together someday and she still says she wants to spend her life with me, she just needs to get her life together right now. I guess i'm not entirely sure how to react, because I know i'm still in love with her and she still means the world to me. I've told her how I feel and we both think we're perfect for eachother...just not now. What do you guys think about all this? how do you see it ending up? any suggestions on how I should handle it now? We mentioned that maybe there will be a second chance someday and that would be what we need...just not for a while. basically, what do you think?

[HajiMaji]

I hate to say it so bluntly, but I dont think this one is going to work out. It is basically all on her right now, so unless she decides she wants you enough to deal with the difficulties of a long distance relationship, it seems like this one is no good.

 

And as bad as this sounds, usually, when a girl is away at college, she will find another guy relatively quickly. I guess my point is there are a billion guys at college and a bunch of them are nice. Its likely she will date someone else soon enough.

 

I only say all this because you asked my opinion. Just because I sense this doesnt mean it is definate. I can just say I have had girls say these things to me a bunch. Maybe there will be a second chance. Maybe the timing will be better next time. I love you like crazy I just need to get my life in order. It has never worked out positive.

[jayn-16]

Beware, LDR needs lots of commitment, energy, money, etc. If one of you doesn't have one of these then its not gonna work, which is likely in this case.

 

She's freaking out. Meeting once a month IMO is good enough, since you talk regularly on the phone. Sooth her, calm her down, address her fears (you probably have already done all of this)

[ole21]

I really did think that after I heard her say all that, it just wouldn't work out, but i'm kinda reconsidering. She still wants to do all the things we talked about before when we're together over christmas. she still wants me to come see her when I can, and see me when she can. A big part of it is we don't know how next year will work out because the closest we're going to be is about an hour away...so there's nothing to really look forward to besides seeing eachother for small amounts of time. It just got so hard on her and I she needed a break. I've told her how I feel and maybe it'll somehow work out, but I understand it's kinda doubtful.

[ole21]

I understand how you guys say it's doubtful to work out, but it seems differnt from other situations. like the other day she sent me a text that said...'you still have me babe and i'm not going anywher. I'm yours.' and she talked about how we will work it out now, then next year we will be close and work out all of our dreams together. It just seems like if she didn't want it anymore...she wouldn't be talking like this. I don't know tho