Iwantittoend Posted December 12, 2007 Posted December 12, 2007 I worry all the time about what my girlfriend thinks of me. Like tonight, she was telling jokes on the phone to me and then asked me if I knew any. It was late and I honestly couldn't think of any, so I told her that I really don't off the top of my head. Then a couple minutes later we got off the phone because no one was talking. Now I feel worried that she might not like me as much because I didn't know any jokes to say. Other times I'll get worried when she gives me a wrong look or disagrees with me. Or when I don't talk to her on the phone for awhile, I'll start to worry that she's off doing something that I wouldn't approve of. Or when we're watching a movie and holding hands, she might get up and sit somewhere else. I'll worry I upset her. Why am I like this? Why do I care so much? I mean, obviously it is good to care, but I think I care too much.
wiser Posted December 12, 2007 Posted December 12, 2007 Yeah, you care too much. Sounds like an anxiety disorder, directed towards her. You need to get to the root of your insecurities with her. Why do you feel you are going to lose her? Is it a legitimate worry...is she really into you or maybe she is giving you signs that she's not emotionally there for you. Either way, your worry is going to show, and it WILL driver her away, in a sort of "self fulfilling prophecy".
Iwantittoend Posted December 12, 2007 Author Posted December 12, 2007 Yeah, you care too much. Sounds like an anxiety disorder, directed towards her. You need to get to the root of your insecurities with her. Why do you feel you are going to lose her? Is it a legitimate worry...is she really into you or maybe she is giving you signs that she's not emotionally there for you. Either way, your worry is going to show, and it WILL driver her away, in a sort of "self fulfilling prophecy". I guess I feel I'll lose her because she is leaving for the army in a month. I'm worried that while she's gone, she'll find a guy that she'll like more than me and just forget about her feelings. I doubt this would happen, but you never know. It still eats away at me. Or other times I'll see some of her friends and they just seem more exciting and outgoing than me. It just worries me that she'll go for them instead. At times it seems like she's really into me, but other times she acts like I'm just a friend. I'm glad that she's comfortable around me but on the other hand, it gives me mixed signals. Also, at times when I talk to her, it seems like she doesn't really listen. Then it makes me go quiet and not want to talk. Maybe I'm just imagining it. I don't know. I probably shouldn't even worry about any of this. I just don't know how to get over it.
ButterflyWrists Posted December 12, 2007 Posted December 12, 2007 you ought to talk to your girlfriend about your worries and insecurities, she cant reassure you, if she doesn't know.
Iwantittoend Posted December 12, 2007 Author Posted December 12, 2007 you ought to talk to your girlfriend about your worries and insecurities, she cant reassure you, if she doesn't know. You think that's a good idea? I just think it would make me look weak and clingy to be honest.
wiser Posted December 12, 2007 Posted December 12, 2007 You think that's a good idea? I just think it would make me look weak and clingy to be honest. Depends on how you go about it. Don't act all weak and emotional. There's a difference between saying something like, "to be honest with you, baby, I've got some concerns about what might happen between us when you leave in a month. I'm here for you, and I always will be, but what do you think you will be feeling when I'm out of sight, out of mind? Be straight with me, I can take it." Versus: * you get on your knees and through tears and hysterics * And you say: "Please don't go out with anyone else...I am SOOOOO scared! I would just go to pieces if you even look at an army guy! I need you and love you and cannot imagine life without you...Pleasssssseeeeeee!"
ButterflyWrists Posted December 12, 2007 Posted December 12, 2007 i agree with wiser. ask her in the appropriate manner, and it will be ok. but cry, and act clingy then she will think your odd. talk about it, she probably has the same kind of insecurities
ghost69 Posted December 12, 2007 Posted December 12, 2007 if you worry too much, you are insecure with yourself. you will have plenty of time to worry without a gf if you keep up this attitude. have a talk with her. but don't seem so desperate for praise and reassurance. chances are she won't date you if she has to keep you reassured. i used to have to do that with my ex. drove me nuts.
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