Is a break up imminent?

[Sean]

So I've been dating this girl for two months, and during that time we've had fun at first, but the more the relationship last, the more she expressed her anxiety. She worries about everything. I tried my best to be understanding, to reassure her and to be romantic in order to smooth over some of her worrying. However, she still worries and when we talked about her getting help, she won't because she doesn't like Therapist, and she thinks she can do it on her own and now she won't communicate these worries to me because I expressed concerns about her and let her know that it was having a negative impact on our relationship. She also says she'll get help once she moves out IE when she marries me, because she won't move out of her parents until she's married.

 

That's another thing, she is just fixated on getting married, it just seems like she is just wanting to rushed to get married. Me, I got to get through school first and It's going to take me 2-3 years, and then I got to get a job, and THEN we can see about marriage. I'm trying to get her to see this relationship as a journey, but of course she doesn't it feels like she sees it as a destination to the alter.

 

Ever since we talked about her Anxiety we seem to be communicating less, and we just seem to be saying the same thing over and over without saying anything new, which is starting to get boring to me, at least.

 

I don't know, beside all of this she really is a sweet, kind, caring, and loving woman but is that really enough to sustain a relationship?

 

My parents think I should stay with her and "tough" it out because I'd probably never meet another woman like her, and really that would be fine with me because I enjoyed being single. I do have those moments when I miss being in a relationship but other than that.

 

I just don't know if I should "tough" it out (since it only been two months) or if this is going to be it.

[kevinm]

Sounds like the writing is on the wall. If you're uncomfortable with the way things are going this early on, then those feelings need to be addressed or the relationship abandoned. 2 months is a drop in the bucket... not nearly enough to "tough it out" as you say.

 

-Kevin

[SarCareBear]

two months??

 

make your break!!

 

the worst that happens is you miss her, and let her know you'd like to see her in the future when she's feeling better, and if she's still willing.

other than "i'm sorry and you're a wonderful person but this isn't working out" there isn't much more you can say. it's not like you owe her your mental health especially this early on.

[annie24]

oh yikes - i think these are some big issues to be having at the 2 month mark. i think she needs to continue with her therapy and meds. after 2 months, she barely knows you, how can she talk of marrying you? that makes me think that she is more in love with the idea of getting married to ANYONE, not mr. right. i agree with your vision of a relationship being a journey.

 

i disagree with your parents that you'll never meet another woman like her. true, we are all different, but she is showing some warning signs, and you barely know her.

 

i'd tell her that if she is going to continue to pressure, you should break it off. now, i'm not for stringing someone along forever, but i don't think it's unreasonable to want to date for 1-2 years before deciding if this is a person you'd like to marry. 2 months is too fast, imho. she doesn't know you, all she has is a vision of who you are in her head.

[RayKay]

Um....no. At two months into it you don't start "sticking it out" when you have doubts.

 

Sounds to me she is trying to use you as a ticket to get out of her parents, and to be honest (and this is not a statement on you but her) I don't think it matters to her WHOM is the one that gives her that ticket (i.e. if someone came around next month whom would marry her, she'd go with it).

 

She is not in a healthy place, and can't make a healthy partner at this point in her life.

 

And your parents are wrong..you will meet other wonderful women....and probably one whom will want to be with you for YOU, not someone whom is looking to be "saved" from herself.

[Sean]

She does talk about that alot....I just thought she was tired of living at home and not being treated like an adult by her dad and step mom.

 

Her family is also Southern Baptist and while they may like me because I'm nice to their daughter, I don't think I have their respect because I'm Catholic, and they see Catholicism as a cult.

[that.girl]

eh. You have your WHOLE life ahead of you, we all do no matter our age, and real love takes time to develop. . .after 2 mths, I wouldnt say she was worth your worry. . .and it does seem to me, as others have stated, that she is just using you to get away from her parents. . .I agree she needs help, but I dont think you should be responsible for "sticking it out" with her. You'll find someone great, who wants you for more than a few vows and you'll be happy, but like you I would be/am in no hurry. . .I would def. break it off

 

and insulting your religion isn't cool in my book either. . .they seem very closed minded. . .