Got an email from my ex...

[CatsMeeoow]

Nothing too exciting.

 

I was having some issues with my son at school and while I've spent the last few years doing lots of different therapies for his autism he is mainstreamed and receiving no special services at this time. I expected some bumps in the road as his schedule/routine has been changed for school and we did have them but now months into school still having some issues.

 

I just contacted my ex for advice - should I be worried or is this just plain old "boy" behavior. I'm not a boy and never did these things and well he has two boys a few years older than mine.

 

He was kind enough to immediately reply and assure me it's just boys being boys and both his kids went through it at some point as well and told me not to worry.

 

It was really nice to have his input. I'm pretty self sufficient as I have been forced by other circumstances to deal with these things alone. I don't think I've ever asked him for advice before. Maybe he responded because he liked being asked? All I know is that it felt nice and comfortable. It felt very friendly.

 

I waited two days and emailed back a 'thanks and appreciate the advice'.

 

Now I stay busy and get ready for the holidays. I'm not waiting to hear from him again but I will be honest and admit it would be nice if I did.

[arwen]

I think it was very good to not thank him directly and even more important, it seems to me that you ONLY contacted him for this purpose. Not as some excuse to talk to him and test the waters.

 

Of course it would be nice if he were to contact you. Do you want to get back together? Or is the prospect of that not happening not the end of the world anymore? It seems like you are recovering pretty well

[CatsMeeoow]

I did some deep thought before contacting him because I didn't want it to seem like an excuse to contact - I really just wanted HIS advice.

 

It felt good to ask.

 

My ex-ex even complained how I never ask for help. And it's true... I guess the only one I can rely on is me. If it needs done I'll find a way to do it on my own. Cut down a tree - no problem... how hard can it be... just go and get a chainsaw... and tada... two trees cut down all on my own. In my defense though my ex-ex made asking for help a nightmare! I remember we just had a baby... at 7 weeks I'm back working 40+ hours... my ex-ex lived out of town all week and was only home the 2 days on the weekend. I pretty much was a single mom doing it all... getting kid to daycare, working, laundry, dinner, middle of the night feedings... Right before I had the baby my ex-ex said he'd pay for a cleaning lady to come in. Of course I was proud and thought - hey I can do it all no problem. Truth was I was exhausted and stressed out so I went back to my ex-ex and said I could use the help. His response - "NO, I offerred and you said you didn't need it - now tough". Even though I would kindly say I thought I could but now I realize I can't. Sadly this isn't the only time he did things - offerred and then turned around and said no when I thought I would be okay. Now I'm just doubly afriad to ask for anything!

 

I was grateful that my ex took the time to give me his advice.

 

Would I still like to get back together??? --- Yes, I would like a chance at that very much. I believe that we were destined to find each other (we've known each other a long time ago.) It's just one stupid thing led to another, then another, then that idiotic spiral out of control!

 

But, I've gotten the "I've moved on and it's too late for us" speech. And, while I know people had said those things and more and still ended up together so long as he still feels it there is no chance for us. I spent months trying to convince him to feel otherwise and all it did was push him further away. I have realized that there is nothing I can do to fix this. It has to be all about him.

 

I do miss talking with him and doing things with him outside of being a couple with him.

 

Bottom line it was really nice to hear from him...