How did I not see this...

[HellFrost666]

I know lately I have posted more threads then I am entitled, sorry.

 

I need to back track a little here. I have some real problems with anxiety and depression, as some people on here may already know. Well, a few months ago I was having a really bad night. I was really down and recovering from a pretty bad panic attack. Well, my girlfriend, her friend Hali, and Hali's boyfriend Anthony were all out that night. I figured being social and going out and doing something would help.

 

Well, my girlfriend and I got in a huge fight that night, and we ended up arguing in the car for an hour. I didn't handle this as well as I could have. And honestly looking back on it I can't even remember what we foiught about.

 

Well, that night when we were leaving it has just been pointed out to me that Anthony gave my girlfriend a hug (no problem there, Hali hugged me before we left too.) But I guess when Anthony hugged my girlfriend he also kissed her.

 

This came up tonight and I don't remember any of it. My girlfriend swears to God I saw him do it, and that we talked about it after it happened. I remember none of this. And I guess even Hali saw him do it, and didn't care.

 

My girlfriend and Anthony are friends. And I honestly see it as nothing more then him being a little too friendly. He was drunk, after all. And if Hali doesn't care I don't see why I should care. But I do.

 

When this came up earlier I was so pissed off (still am.) I want to call this guy and tell him off. I just can't believe his nerve. And I was also really mad at my girlfriend, despite the fact she said something about it to me afterwords. She told me he caught her off guard and she didn't have time to stop him. And she also pointed out to me that I was not at all upset the night it happened.

 

I just want some opinions here... I don't remember any of it, and now I am honestly too pissed to even see straight.

[annie24]

oh yikes. did your gf kiss him back? if it was something he did, and she didn't encourage it, maybe she should tell him not to do it again? and on your part, you can drink less so that you don't get into these kinds of situations where you lose your temper and later don't remember stuff. that's definitely a sign to cut back on the drink.

 

did you and your gf smooth the problem out?

[HellFrost666]

She didn't kiss him back. She told me the whole thing happened and was over before she could even stop it.

[DN]

What sort of kiss - a between friends peck on the lips or something more than that.

 

But in any event - look at the larger picture. Who is she with and who does she love? And what would be served by calling this guy out after so long over something you can't even remember?

 

Some sleeping dogs are best left to slumber undisturbed.

[HellFrost666]

Well she says it was just a friendly kiss. And weather I can remember it isn't really the issue. He crossed a boundary.

[that.girl]

What sort of kiss - a between friends peck on the lips or something more than that.

 

But in any event - look at the larger picture. Who is she with and who does she love? And what would be served by calling this guy out after so long over something you can't even remember?

 

Some sleeping dogs are best left to slumber undisturbed.

 

 

I agree with DN all the way. and I kiss my male friends on the cheek when I first see them or when they leave...its nothing mushy, just a friendly peck. I also agree that you should cut down on the booze if you don't even remember. . .

[JadedStar]

Wow. My husband's friends kiss me all the time when they see me or leave. They are friendly kisses...it's not big deal to him or me. They even kiss on the lips. That freaked me out at first as my friends didn't do that but i noticed with these people they all do it...as a term of endearment. Nothing creepy.

 

I think you are getting yourself worked up over nothing. You know i would tell you if i truly felt otherwise.

[HellFrost666]

To everyone blaming alcolhol, that wasn't the problem.

 

To the two women here who kiss their male friends, do you let them kiss you on the mouth?

[that.girl]

if its just a peck i do, and jaded star said she did too . . . its nothing romantic or passionate just a peck. . .like a hug. nothing to be taken too seriously.

[annie24]

well, if you are having anxiety and depression troubles, are you on meds? if so, alcohol can really mess with that. alcohol can be a depressant, i'm just concerned you really don't remember what happened, not a good sign.

 

i have male friends, we may kiss on the cheek, never on the lips.

[JadedStar]

To everyone blaming alcolhol, that wasn't the problem.

 

To the two women here who kiss their male friends, do you let them kiss you on the mouth?

 

My husband's friends always go for the mouth. At first i thought that was strange then realized that is how they are....it is harmless.

[HellFrost666]

I am not on any meds. I am doing all I can to stay off them.

 

I didn't drink that much that night. Her and I having an argument kind of put a damper on my taste for anything. I remember them leaving. I just don't remember him kissing her or her saying something to me about it afterwards.

[RayKay]

Yeah, personally I don't kiss others on the lips unless they are family or well, my boyfriend (not to be too blunt...but you never know who has herpes.....and I certainly don't want to catch it from an innocent peck on the lips!).

 

I will kiss on the cheeks though or do the air kisses on each cheek.

 

People here are assuming it was a peck though and you never really clarified....are we talking a full-on french kiss or a peck? I think they are rather different, and I don't think a french kiss would happen if she had not wanted it either...

 

I don't know honestly. If it was a peck, I would not be bothered as some people do just do that and I can see him doing it and taking her by surprise. If it was more, I would be.

 

I am wondering if she really DID tell you about it, or she is telling you she did now to "get out of it"??? I mean, if you can remember other things that night, that seems to me to be one of those things you WOULD remember.

[HellFrost666]

Well if that's the case we could also question if he really kissed her. Sorry, it's just a logic thing.

 

I don't think she is lying. Two years we have been together and never have I had any reason to doubt her.

[Momene]

Firstly, I agree that its best to cut down on alcohol if it fuels your temper. At one time, I drank far more than is good for me and now I'm almost teetotal.

 

Secondly, there's a lot of cultural differences in kissing and other displays of affection amongst friends. My exes friends always kissed on the lips, although one once snogged me when i wasn't expecting it. My wife only kisses me and close family members on the lips and my daughter only kisses her boyfriend on the lips.

[HellFrost666]

I have stated already that alcohol had nothing to do with this.

 

Why is everyone jumping to that conclusion? And all these "Don't drink so much if you can't control your temper." statements don't make any sense. Where does my temper come into play here exactly?

 

Sorry... but it seems like a lot of people are reading this and not understanding what happened.

[Pegasus]

I have stated already that alcohol had nothing to do with this.

 

Why is everyone jumping to that conclusion? And all these "Don't drink so much if you can't control your temper." statements don't make any sense. Where does my temper come into play here exactly?

 

Sorry... but it seems like a lot of people are reading this and not understanding what happened.

 

Well, I guess the alcohol thing was written in your initial post so....

 

On the other side, I wouldn't really like seeing "friends" kiss my gf on the lips. There would be some serious ass kickin'. But that's just me. For me, kissing on the lips is almost as intimate as having sex... YMMV

[HellFrost666]

^ That's how I feel. I would never kiss one of my female friends on the mouth, ever. And this guy had the nerve to do it right in front of me, weather I remember or not.

 

And, in my first post I said Anthony was drunk, I never said I was. And I never said anything about losing my temper that night either.

[JadedStar]

well, if you are having anxiety and depression troubles, are you on meds? if so, alcohol can really mess with that. alcohol can be a depressant, i'm just concerned you really don't remember what happened, not a good sign.

 

i have male friends, we may kiss on the cheek, never on the lips.

 

It was strange to me annie when i first started dating my husband and that was how they greet female friends.

 

I still try to go into the side when we hug when they leave becasue i don't really care for it even tho i know it is harmless and just their way. Thank goodness my husband doesn't do that! He said he thinks it is weird too but they are all just very gregarious and friendly that way. He and i are slightly more conservative then these peeps. lol

[someguy88]

I think Ellie nailed it.

 

There are some women friends that I'll kiss and others that I would never kiss simply because the way our friendship evolved didn't involve friendly pecks early on. Starting up a kissing habit after the friendship has been established seems a little weird. Also, does this Anthony guy kiss his other women friends on the lips?

 

Personally, the only friends I kiss on the lips are exes and I really don't do that much cheek pecks.

[JadedStar]

I agree Ellie. If the guy in question does not as a norm kiss her on the lips and with other females it would be off putting that it happened out of the blue, out of the norm, and while drunk.

 

I also agree it wasn't his g/f's fault. It does not sound like she initaiated it, instigated it, or was hiding it.

[doyathink]

My ex would cringe if another male friend hugged me, let alone a kiss on the lips! I can see how that would bother you, even if it was a peck.

 

Maybe she did tell you and you don't remember, or, maybe she really thought it came out that night, and didn't. Did she have a lot to drink and don't remember the night that well? Who know...but, I have a feeling this is going to come out sooner or later (with Anthony). Which would be better....give him a call when you have let this all settle down, or let it blow up when all of you go out again and you're drinking?