Really really hurt

[ElisabethLS]

Apologies beforehand, I just really need to vent, I am not sure anyone can help me.

 

I just got into a fight with someone who, it must be said, I don't get along with. In fact, he hasn't spoken to me in over a year, but now was hell-bent on accusing me of slander. Not really relevant, but in the context of this back and forth, he revealed he had been talking to a mutual friend of ours, James.

 

Now, James lives in England and we had become really good friends online, exchanging presents and long e-mails, talking on AIM, sending postcards, etc. Now, nothing romantic at all, it was more an interest of geography--he was interested in all things Wild West, and I was interested in all things English. And we had loads in common.

 

As it happened, I visited the UK this fall and of course wanted to meet up with him. And he was absolutely thrilled and was "counting down the days" until we met up.

 

Fast forward to my trip, I tell him what days I'm going to be in London and he goes oh no, this is terrible--I'm helping my parents move and I don't know if I can get away. But nevertheless, he sets up a date, time and location and I agree to be there. I was figuring he wouldn't make it, and I was extremely confused as he was claiming he had no access to a telephone to call my mobile.

 

Well, I wait in Leicester Square for an hour and he never shows. Worse, he never sends me any explanation. I put it off to the fact that he's totally browbeaten by his parents, girlfriend and economic situation.

 

Fast forward three months now, and I haven't heard from him again. Now, via this mutual friend/enemy, I find out that James had been talking to him all along, presumably by phone, and apparently had no intention of ever keeping the date. It all looks bizarrely like he strung me along, best of friends, only to totally dump me. I e-mailed him for an explanation, but the e-mail bounced back, which suggests he's changed it. He hasn't logged onto the board we frequented either.

 

I'm so hurt and confused. I guess I could pawn it off as "one more weirdo" but it just keeps happening. I meet someone I have loads in common with, we become friends, and then they ditch me.

 

I could probably swallow it, but I have just as crap luck in romance (as you may have seen from my earlier posts) and when you combine it all, it makes me absolutely loathe myself as much as I loathe them. Why do I seemingly become a target for abuse?

 

I guess I'm just trying to figure out where I go wrong socially. What is wrong with me that I can't even keep friends? If you've seen any of my earlier posts, you know I have trouble romantically as well, and it all serves to convince me that I'm very messed up. The friends I do have assure me it's not me, that I just have really bad luck...but how can it keep happening over and over?

 

I am really very alone at the moment, with only one or two people I can even truly confide in. I'm honestly becoming terrified to socialize because it just seems like a way to be hurt. I'm closing myself off more and more and finding it difficult to even confide in close friends, as I am certain they'll only leave me, or use whatever I say against me.

 

Maybe the question is, how do I avoid falling into a persecution complex?!

[k_1971]

Hi

 

I'm sorry to hear of this.

 

To be blunt, if thats how a so-called friend treats you , then you're better off without him.

 

Personally I could never ever do something as callous as what he did to you. You were over on a trip and in an ufamiliar country and he did that to you.

I'd like to offer you a hug, and say not all guys are like that. Perhaps you had a lucky escape.

 

Don't loathe yourself. I'm sure you have just had the misfortune to meet jerks.

You're more than welcome to chat via PM if it helps

 

take care

[ElisabethLS]

Thank you. Maybe it is just bad luck--I'm really worn out by it all. It's bizarre as we had mutual friends in common (one even went from hanging out with me in San Diego to hanging out with him in London) and so I know there wasn't anything "creepy" involved...I wish there had been so I felt better!

 

If anything, I was embroiled in a rather exhausting and unsettling situation with my London host and desperately needed "a break" and someone to talk to. I think that's what angers me more than anything.

 

I wish I could pretend my enemy was making the whole thing up, but I hadn't told anyone we mutually knew that I was meeting up with him and when. But this jerk knew. So it's obvious they have been talking.

 

I must have a target painted on my forehead.

[k_1971]

I'm sure you don't, I just think you've been unlucky. its made worse by the fact that you feel betrayed by your other friend too.

 

hang in there

[Postive-Aura]

Hey all i want to say is count your blessing's, only God knows what kind of a freak he might have been.

 

Unfortunately many such retards exisit on the face of this planet. All i want to say is Darling cheer up the world is full of beautiful mornings and it isn't you, this much i can promise you

 

I am sure you will meet good people as many do exsist. Hey look if you ever want to talk or just say hello just PM me.

 

I am sure you are going to be alright poditive aura let the Karma of your soul lead you to bliss