Gryphon Posted December 12, 2007 Share Posted December 12, 2007 My friend and I have been discussing this and we differ on opinions so it would be great to find out your thoughts. Say for example theres a guy and he really likes this girl, he's told her how he feels but she's not interested. They stay friends but he still wants more. Over some time she dates other guys and gets on with her life only to eventually realise that she now wants the guy who she knocked back originally. She comes to this guy many months after he asked her and tells him she wants to be with him now. Ok, your now the guy. A) Do you jump at the chance to be with the girl you've wanted for ages? B) You weren't good enough before and don't want to be anyones booby-prize so you knock her back? A or B? Link to comment
Daligal83 Posted December 12, 2007 Share Posted December 12, 2007 I've been the girl in that situation. He didn't flat out tell me he was interested, but I could kinda tell. I didn't feel the same way and acted as such, but we remained very good friends. Three and a half years later, something clicks and I began to see him that way. Luckily he was still interested and we've been dating for almost a year and a half. If the girl wasn't rude or cruel about it and didn't string him along, I'd say give her a chance. Feelings can take time to grow. If he still has feelings for her, what's the point in letting the chance go by? Link to comment
theartofruin Posted December 12, 2007 Share Posted December 12, 2007 Exactly what daligal said. So long as she wasn't harsh with the rejection you can't hold a grudge, only be happy she finally came round! Link to comment
Starrjenna Posted December 12, 2007 Share Posted December 12, 2007 I think sometimes it takes people a long time to see whats been right in front of them the whole time.. I think the guy should give it a chance! Link to comment
_C_J_ Posted December 12, 2007 Share Posted December 12, 2007 As long as she is genuinely interested now I say give it a shot. My only thought though would be to just make sure that there isn't something else going on like another failed relationship that would put the guy as a rebound. But otherwise by all means it's not worth forgetting it and wondering what could've been. Link to comment
Gryphon Posted December 12, 2007 Author Share Posted December 12, 2007 Thats great, I think that way too Maybe those who think the other way only do because they're in the middle period-before the girl realises who she really wants? Thinking 'She doesn't want me now and I'm never being second best for anyone' makes it easier somehow? Does that make sense? Link to comment
Batya33 Posted December 12, 2007 Share Posted December 12, 2007 It shouldn't be about second best or settling, it should be about seeing the person with fresh eyes and something clicks, as Daligal said. Link to comment
Gryphon Posted December 12, 2007 Author Share Posted December 12, 2007 Yeah I understand, and I agree. I'm just intrigued by my friends view of "I wont be second best" it doesn't make any sense to me because its coming between him and what he wants. I'm trying to undersatnd what makes him feel that way. I think perhaps trying to protect himself maybe? Link to comment
theartofruin Posted December 12, 2007 Share Posted December 12, 2007 Being stubborn, low self worth, insecurities. Loads of people somehow feel like they've failed if somebody doesn't find them attractive; after a break-up it's common to ask yourself "What have I done wrong??" when you really did nothing wrong. I went out with a girl once after a few years of being friends where there was no attraction, it just suddenly clicked into place - she wasn't second best, and either was I! Link to comment
ghost69 Posted December 12, 2007 Share Posted December 12, 2007 My friend and I have been discussing this and we differ on opinions so it would be great to find out your thoughts. Say for example theres a guy and he really likes this girl, he's told her how he feels but she's not interested. They stay friends but he still wants more. Over some time she dates other guys and gets on with her life only to eventually realise that she now wants the guy who she knocked back originally. She comes to this guy many months after he asked her and tells him she wants to be with him now. Ok, your now the guy. A) Do you jump at the chance to be with the girl you've wanted for ages? B) You weren't good enough before and don't want to be anyones booby-prize so you knock her back? A or B? problem one is you stayed friends with a relationship interest. the only way i'd go with A is if i knew how long ago you told her you had feelings for her. like if i was in grade school and i ran into the girl in my 20s. then i'd give her a chance. Link to comment
someguy88 Posted December 12, 2007 Share Posted December 12, 2007 Personally, I'd never let a stupid thing like pride get in the way of hooking up with someone I like. If was still interested I'd probably give her a shot. Link to comment
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