Bleh...

[SweetLavender]

Hello enotalone members! I need your opinion regarding this matter...

 

My boyfriend asked me to watch a movie with him ( dvd ) last week. The

movie that he wanted to watch is called " Hostel ". So... we watched it

at my house... and for the first 20 minutes or so, it's pretty much sex scenes.

First of all... my boyfriend told me it's going to be a horror movie ( well, it is a

horror movie but I didn't know there would be that kind of stuff in the movie )

so I whined to him saying " I don't really like these scenes... ". Then, he told

me to shut up - ignore the sex scenes - and pay attention to the plot of the movie...

 

Now, how do I really ignore all the sex part when that's what its all about for

the first 20 minutes of the movie!? ... plus! it was about guys who went to

Europe to screw girls ( bleh? ). I know a lot of you here may not mind watching those

kind of stuff... but really... I just don't like it. My boyfriend also knew that

I didn't like those kind of things since the beginning of our relationship too.

 

I left the couch and went to my bedroom to go do my thing. After he was

done watching the movie, he went to my room saying he's going to leave

for the night. I confronted him and said that I didn't like how he told me to shut up

and such. He eventually apologized... so thats good I guess. The thing is,

I asked him a favor right? and I said that if he wanted me to watch another

movie with him... please check the rating first. ( Since I don't like over

abundance of sex scenes ) and he replied to me saying " so, am I supposed

to **** ing check every movie? **** that " and left. Wow... is that too much

to ask for?

[Bunney]

There are sex scenes in almost any movie. I don't know how he was supposed to know that there are a LOT of sex scenes? As far as I know there's no site that tells exactly how many dirty scenes a movie has -- I think you're overreacting. What is it exactly that bothers you so much about it? Is it awkward for you?? Or is it cause you don't like your bf to see (half)naked girls? Would it bother you if you watched the movie alone?

[my_own_love]

He should be able to respect your wishes. If he wants to watch them, fine, he shouldn't be upset if you don't want to. It is definitely not too much to ask for.

[SweetLavender]

There are sex scenes in almost any movie. I don't know how he was supposed to know that there are a LOT of sex scenes? As far as I know there's no site that tells exactly how many dirty scenes a movie has -- I think you're overreacting. What is it exactly that bothers you so much about it? Is it awkward for you?? Or is it cause you don't like your bf to see (half)naked girls? Would it bother you if you watched the movie alone?

 

I really don't mind if there's a little of it in the movie, but I don't like it when

there's too much of it. I just don't like watching those kind of stuff ( hell, I dont

like watching porn either )... and the scenes were so degrading. Erm, it wasn't

half naked girls. It was fully naked guys and girls, doing it ( like soft core porn? ).

However, I don't really care if my bf saw those since he have watched porn anyway.

It's ME that doesn't like it - and yes, it would still bother me

if I watched the movie alone.

[arwen]

A simple solution would be to choose the DVD's together if you want to see them together.

 

I think he was just disappointed and you too. No right or wrong, just a lesson for the future that this is the type of movie he should look with others and not you and for you to maybe give your input before he picks out a movie.

[theartofruin]

I've seen Hostel and you should be more annoyed that your boyfriend made you watch a crappy movie with no plot.

 

If he knew how you felt about girls/nudity/sex then he should respect your wishes. Once it started and you told him it was bothering you he should have turned it off.

 

However, if you expect him to be a mind reader and know what a film's content is going to be you're crazy. Even checking the box isn't going to tell you what's in the film other than vague comments like 'some sex'. That could mean off-screen, not teens in a bed in detail.

[Bunney]

I really don't mind if there's a little of it in the movie, but I don't like it when

there's too much of it. I just don't like watching those kind of stuff ( hell, I dont

like watching porn either )... and the scenes were so degrading. Erm, it wasn't

half naked girls. It was fully naked guys and girls, doing it, with all their parts

shown. However, I don't really care if my bf saw those since he watches porn

anyway. It's ME that doesn't like it - and yes, it would still bother me

if I watched the movie alone.

 

Oke I understand. But I don't see how he was supposed to know that there was so much of it. I wouldn't be mad at him for it.

If you look up a movie, at let's say IMDB, it only says "male/female nudity", "breasts", "sex", and those stuff, but you can't know if it's one scene or a hundred.

 

I didn't say there weren't naked girls, with "(half)naked" i mean both halfnaked and naked

[Gath]

i agree with theartofruin, my ex got me to see that movie against my better judgement.

[SweetLavender]

What I meant when I asked him to check for the rating before watching a movie,

is that I don't want to watch ANY movie that has sex scenes in it. ( because

you know... you never know how much of those are going to be in it. )

[Lana0120]

I think that if he wants to watch films like that fine, but he shouldn't expect you to if you've made it clear it that they are not for you - and you did prior to this film. I think arwen is right that the best idea is to choose the DVDs together.

[EQD]

so you aren't comfortable with sex?... at all?

Thats.... odd... how old are you?

What bothers me more is that he didnt feel bad about telling you to shut up.. see when you have to milk them for an apology it means that they dont really mean it, they are just telling you they are sorry so you will get off their case. I know from experience.

Sounds like your bf isnt very nice.

 

And Hostel Sucked.. i wish i could have left when i was watching it.. stupid movie..!

[Bunney]

What I meant when I asked him to check for the rating before watching a movie,

is that I don't want to watch ANY movie that has sex scenes in it. ( because

you know... you never know how much of those are going to be in it. )

 

oks, but why is that? for example in the movie-serie Band of Brothers (about second world war). In the plot keywords it says "female nudity". Now, in all these 10 parts of the movie, there is ONE scene in the 10th part, a guy having sex with a girl, you can't see ANYTHING but the blanket, then when the guy gets up you see her breasts for ONE second (also could barely see). Get what I mean??

 

I mean I don't like a lot of sex scenes in movies either but it's not like I won't watch ANY movie that has ANY sex scenes in it.. I think that's over the top and a bit weird.. but to each its own I guess well good luck avoiding every single movie that has any kind of sex scene in it!

[Clementine orange]

I've seen Hostel and you should be more annoyed that your boyfriend made you watch a crappy movie with no plot.

 

 

True. This stuff is 2 steps away from basic snuff films anyway

link removed

[SweetLavender]

so you aren't comfortable with sex?... at all?

Thats.... odd... how old are you?

What bothers me more is that he didnt feel bad about telling you to shut up.. see when you have to milk them for an apology it means that they dont really mean it, they are just telling you they are sorry so you will get off their case. I know from experience.

Sounds like your bf isnt very nice.

 

And Hostel Sucked.. i wish i could have left when i was watching it.. stupid movie..!

 

Oh, trust me, I AM COMFORTABLE WITH SEX. lol. But I don't like watching

other people doing it, y'know ?

[SweetLavender]

oks, but why is that? for example in the movie-serie Band of Brothers (about second world war). In the plot keywords it says "female nudity". Now, in all these 10 parts of the movie, there is ONE scene in the 10th part, a guy having sex with a girl, you can't see ANYTHING but the blanket, then when the guy gets up you see her breasts for ONE second (also could barely see). Get what I mean??

 

I mean I don't like a lot of sex scenes in movies either but it's not like I won't watch ANY movie that has ANY sex scenes in it.. I think that's over the top and a bit weird.. but to each its own I guess well good luck avoiding every single movie that has any kind of sex scene in it!

 

Well okay. I stated that I don't mind a little sex scene... but didn't someone

just told me that you couldnt really tell if there's going to be a little or a lot

of it from just the movie rating? >.>

[Lana0120]

I think you can tell, to a certain extent from the rating as to how bad it's going to be. I think as long as you avoid the top rating you should be fairly OK.

[Bunney]

Well okay. I stated that I don't mind a little sex scene... but didn't someone

just told me that you couldnt really tell if there's going to be a little or a lot

of it from just the movie rating? >.>

 

I wrote my post judging by your previous post saying "What I meant when I asked him to check for the rating before watching a movie,is that I don't want to watch ANY movie that has sex scenes in it. "

Now I'm confused by you saying that you don't mind SOME sex scenes.

 

in let's say 90% of all movies there will be at least one dirty scene. You've gotta watch the movie to know it.

[SweetLavender]

I wrote my post judging by your previous post saying "What I meant when I asked him to check for the rating before watching a movie,is that I don't want to watch ANY movie that has sex scenes in it. "

Now I'm confused by you saying that you don't mind SOME sex scenes.

 

in let's say 90% of all movies there will be at least one dirty scene. You've gotta watch the movie to know it.

 

Let me quote what I said earlier:

 

" I really don't mind if there's a little of it in the movie, but I don't like it when

there's too much of it. "

 

" What I meant when I asked him to check for the rating before watching a movie,

is that I don't want to watch ANY movie that has sex scenes in it. ( because

you know... you never know how much of those are going to be in it. ) "

|

|

V

 

" because you know... you never know how much of those are going to be in it. "

 

Unless there's a way to tell

[EQD]

Oh, trust me, I AM COMFORTABLE WITH SEX. lol. But I don't like watching

other people doing it, y'know ?

 

No, i dont know.. that sounds odd. Sorry.

I mean, the only way i would be uncomfy with watching a sex scene is if it was in front of my dad. lol. Otherwise its just erotic, i've had a quite a few nice bouts of intimacy during and after these scenes come on in a movie me and my ex-mate were watching. And you can even re-enact it.. pretty neat way to keep the fires burning.

[servedcold]

Bleh is right on his movie selection, would only show such a movie to a GF who LOVES gore movies, and those aren't exactly the norm.

[SweetLavender]

He called me just now just to say that it's ****ing ridiculous to check on every

movie's rating before we watch it. He's saying that the favor I asked him is

ridiculous. I asked him: if he were to ask me a favor and I say " **** that "

to him, would he like it... and he went silence and said sorry. However, I don't

feel like he's really ' sorry '. It seems as if saying " sorry " will get him away with

just anything.... so if I were to cheat on him and say sorry he'll forgive me? pfft.

[SweetLavender]

Oh also, I just talked to him. ( I mean I'm obviously not over the problem yet )

and he's like " my apology is not sufficient? then what do you want? "

 

- Sigh -

[Clementine orange]

He obviously doesn't understand women very well. I would hazard a guess that the vast majority of women don't want to see someone dismembered by a chainsaw or whatever.

 

They are called "chick flicks" for a reason - they have romance, adventure, marriages, family stuff. Not chainsaws, car chases, aliens or T and A.

[EQD]

hm.. i am in disagreement with your ideals on the sex in movie subject, and i do think its asking just a little bit much to have him screen every movie that you two watch..

BUT

I think he is being pretty unreasonable and a jerk. He should be more compassionate about your feelings, instead he is just saying "F#$% that!"

I mean.. lets reflect here.. the ideal guy when told during the movie that you werent comfy with the sex in Hostel, would have either fast forwarded through it, or playfully covered your eyes.

Doesnt that sound alot more caring than what he said to you?