So i Bumped into her and have more questions

[rusty_boi]

for those of you who havent been following my posts theres a bit of backgroun 4 you.

 

Ok so i 'bumped' into her at her work today (so it was an educated guess shed be there) and we were talking and catching up. (important for later) at the start of the convo we were talkn about a concert im going to on new years day. i tell her she should go she was like "ohhh... nah i dun think so i havent got enough money". anyway were talkn 4 bout 15 min... then this happeneds

 

Me: yeh apparently they were heaps good in concert when dey were here

her: yeh i bought my (under her breath) boyfriend a ticket there

me: really? (still casual)

 

so at this stage of the convo i was caught offguard, i had prepared so much for a no that i didnt see the bf factor comin. anyway i din wanna seem desperate or like i was sizin up my competition so i left it to her to bring him up again...She didnt. so were talking for anoda 10 minutes then she says randomly

 

call me after new years well hang out im so busy for the next couple weeks. Now i dint even get close to mentioning asking her out partly cause i was confused bout the bf ting and partly because the convo wasnt going there. Bare in mind i was happy at this stage to finishn catchn up and let it be. She says this then im thinkn mayb the door is ajar.

 

So i tell her " i wanna go overseas for a few years" and she seems really disappointed, i then told her "im goin 3 months next year then after that for a year". Once i told her 3 months next year she looked and sounded really relived. she even said "Oh good"

 

then at this stage she starts talking about a club i always go to and how she always wanted to go there, i tell her she should go and she seemed 50-50.

 

So convo is winding up and she says "where do u get tickets for that concert?" i tell her. I then say "i thought u were too cool 2 go (jokingly)" she goes "nah i wanna go." i tell her " your not gonna go (half jokingly)" and she says "nah i really wanna go, ill just see wat my friends are doing and if they wanna go".

 

anyway then one of her friends came and the three of us spoke a bit then i decided to go and said be4 i left " see ya i guess ill call u after new years?" she said " ok, bye" (she was serving a customer at this stage)

 

so here are my two possible scenarios

 

1) now since talkn wit her i realised i wudnt mind bein her friend agn she is really cool. itl prolly take me a bit 2 get over her but then im sure we can go back 2 be4

 

2) i try to hang out wit her and show wat a good bf i cud be compared 2 hers and seriusly go after wat i want.. hes just an obstacle. I normally dont do this but im tired of sitting back in situations like this, besides not like it hasnt ever happened before

 

Ok so wat do you all think i should do? also wat do you think i should make of my convo wit her: does she wanna be mates?, is she gonna test the waters with me? maybe you think differently?

 

No one say forget her completley please because i get along well wit her and think that we could be great friends at the minimum... obviously my preference is more than friends.

[Censored]

OK, so i wont say it.

 

Damn i have to.

Dude, you're a good looking guy. Get over this "obesssion" with the girl that has a boyfriend. You ARE going to get hurt or at the very least tangled up.

 

I know you DON'T want to hear that, but jeeeepers, STOP doing this to yourself. You can find more available prospects.

 

Sorry man, i know i know, you must hate reading my posts to your threads

[ghost69]

FRIEND. that is all i'm seeing from her end. i'd give up on this one.

[LE DHUY NHUT]

Words like' my boyfriend' is the killer here.You might think' friendship' is acceptable but it isn't really.You gotta pull away from her almost completely on good terms of course so you don't get friendzoned and can have a chance later on if they break up.

[Dating Coach]

Bro, what is the deal here?

 

1) She has a BOYFRIEND.

2) What is this about showing her how great of a boyfriend you could be in comparison to hers? How do you know hers "bad"? And why on earth do you feel the need to try to prove to her you are better? That very idea or action displays LOW VALUE. It makes you look like you're not confident that your positive attributes will be apparant, that instead you are so uncertain that you have to go around proving it. It also shows her that she's the prize and you feel the need to justify yourself to her. This is bad bad bad.

 

Find a girl who is single, and when you do, don't try to prove how nice you are or how great you can treat her. Guys who do this get friendzoned. You need to just relax around girls, worry only about having fun for yourself and that's that. When you go around trying to prove yourself then you look silly and not confident. Just straight up ask the girls out that you are interested in.

[rusty_boi]

ok so i woke up this morning about 1000 times better than yesterday. Im thinking, going of what you all say that ill take my time to lick my wounds get over her and then try rekindle our friendship. if down the line we end up going out great. If we dont then its no big deal.

[ghost69]

why rekindle friendship? you are hoping some day you are going to date. you can't do this to yourself.

[Dating Coach]

Yeah, I am not sure what "friendship" you're talking about. What you have is a false friendship front with her while beneath you have a romantic motivation. That's not a friendship.

[LE DHUY NHUT]

Rekindling a 'friendship' is not likely to work.Just try to move on without her 'friendship'.This will show her that you don't settle for anything less than what you really want.

[Gratsy]

I agree with previous posters. Be her friend, but move on. She has a BOYFRIEND.