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[Gracelove]

So I got to talk to one of my favorite people today. That makes me really happy. We talk almost everyday and I really look forward to our conversations.

 

I'm a little emotional also. I've been crying a little bit.

 

A lady was talking to me today about how it is the "end of the world", and that really got me thinking.

 

No one knows when their last breath is, they just have to make the most of things.

 

I was thinking about becoming a nurse, because I really want to help people. On top of that, it is a steady occupation.

I think it would be a really good use of time, helping people, on a daily basis, but I'm a little nervous about it. Maybe I can find the time for an internship, but I'm not sure.

 

Let's see, I'm in love, but I'm very practical these days. We are friends, and it's nice to have a sweet friend.

 

I'm nervous about life.

 

Chances are, that in a few years my parents will sell their home. This is the only steady and secure place I've known. Thinking about them leaving and moving on makes me feel really very sad.

 

The truth of the matter is that I'm really very attached to my parents. They had me later in life. They worked a lot, but I was home-schooled and very used to being around them.

 

I went from home-school, to all-girls school, to private college. College was the first time that I was away from them for more than a week and a half.

 

Anywho, I got used to things, and made a lot of friends in college. But in the later years some really bad things happened.

 

Anywho, I was used to being on my own, and now that I'm spending so much time with them I'm getting afraid of being on my own again.

 

I love my parents so much, and they are older in age, and I don't want them to die. That would make me really very sad.

 

Anywho, life is really very rough but I've always been extremely sensitive.

 

I've been able to hide it well, I think, since the age of 8. People constantly refer to me as being "always happy" or "miss sunshine". If I'm sad I cry at home in my room, in my car, or I talk about my feelings on this site.

 

Anywho, I've always been really sensitive. I've developed a thicker shell, but it's still a balancing act.

 

And right now I'm having one of my emotional moments.

 

Sometimes you feel all alone in the world you know?

 

And I feel safe at home, very safe here. And if my parents sell this house, I'm afraid that feeling of safety will be lost to me forever.

 

I know it's really silly, but I'm scared. I don't know what to do. I know how to survive, I've done it before, but I'm afraid of making mistakes.

 

I'm afraid of trusting the wrong person and ending up dead, I've already had a few close calls.

 

On one hand I'm really good at interacting with people, but on the other hand I feel like I can't always see beneath the guise.

 

My parents kicked me out of the nest and out into the world. I was able to fly but ended up battered and bruised, and sometimes I'm afraid that I'm not really equipped to make it.

 

And I know it's silly to feel this way, and I know it's silly to cry about it, but for some reason it bothers me. And I don't know why.

 

I just feel pretty sad.

[Creamybutter]

I think we all sort of go through that when we are feeling vulnerable or emotional.

 

All i can say is...It will be fine. YOU will be fine. Have faith (in God if you are religious) It can give you enormous strength at times when you feel down or low. He is after always with us, and guiding us if we are there to stop and actually listen within.

 

At the end of the day, these thoughts give us perspective and make us stronger, and learn to control and deal with our emotions. Maybe you should share your feelings with your closer friends once in a while, instead of putting up a constant Happy face. Its nice to be cheerful, but at times its also nice to talk about things and feel reassured that we arent alone.

 

But, either way, Life is what we make it to be. Its a journey, and theres a whole subject out there on how to "live". (It actually teaches us how to die as chapter 1.) We're all pretty much in your boat too.