Why does it only bother her when i joke bout it

[jecht]

Any ways one of my best friend has habit of always joking around with me by calling me a b**** and an a****** but she is constant being called a dumb H** and such by other friends some who are closer to her then me and some who arn't but if i ever call her a name back after she calls me one she gets all pissed and stops talking to me for like 10 minutes up to a day or two . so ive learned to just not talk to her when shes not talkign to me to avoid getting her mad but thenshe gets mad that im being "emo" and not talking to her > were supoused to be best friends but i don't know why it only bothers her when i say it and not when her other guy friends say it

[wiser]

if i ever call her a name back after she calls me one she gets all pissed and stops talking to me for like 10 minutes up to a day or two .

 

Passive aggressive and manipulative behavior on her part. What's "good for the goose is good for the gander".

 

Either she "puts up or shuts up".

[toshiba]

Any ways one of my best friend has habit of always joking around with me by calling me a b**** and an a****** but she is constant being called a dumb H** and such by other friends some who are closer to her then me and some who arn't but if i ever call her a name back after she calls me one she gets all pissed and stops talking to me for like 10 minutes up to a day or two . so ive learned to just not talk to her when shes not talkign to me to avoid getting her mad but thenshe gets mad that im being "emo" and not talking to her > were supoused to be best friends but i don't know why it only bothers her when i say it and not when her other guy friends say it

 

 

So next time she calls you those things, pull the quiet act on her.

 

And then, your best bet would be for the both of you to stop "jokingly" calling each other those names. Because, when you think about it, those names aren't really funny, are they?

[Pocket Rocket]

do you get defensive when she calls you any of those things, or apologetic? If so, don't, next time she says something either say nothing at all or just say 'okay'. There's no point calling her names back, it isn't dignified even if you mean it as a joke (she's the best example you have of that).

 

I used to have friends that constantly made little jokes and took digs at my character but then I learned to trust myself and learn I am a good person, no one can take that away, now most of it is water of a duck's back (complete opposite of what I was like before). I realised they were just using those jokes because they were insecure and had to push the put-downs on someone else - that's probably what she's doing with you and if you get defensive it probably eggs her on too (I've had friends who relished the fact that I used to get defensive, once I stopped responding they're the ones who got frustrated and stopped lol)

 

If she has those kinds of opinions about you, make sure you know yourself and know that you're a good person no matter what she says.

[jecht]

well i dont care that she says aything to me im usually just ok or yea deffinitly + sarcastic tone adn i usually dont call her anything back its when everyone is joking around and i add in she gets pissed at me and not the ither 3 or 4

[wiser]

well i dont care that she says aything to me im usually just ok or yea deffinitly + sarcastic tone adn i usually dont call her anything back its when everyone is joking around and i add in she gets pissed at me and not the ither 3 or 4

 

Then you are just being a punching bag. There's a difference between "being the better person", and "taking the high road", and "picking your battles", as compared to being verbally abused.

 

I say give it right back to her and if she is going to sulk for 10 minutes to a few days then that's her problem and her loss.

[jecht]

yea i think we are starting to get better she hasn't called me any names in a while and im just continuing to be good to her

[wiser]

Whatever you are doing, it's working. Just dont be her punching bag, remember that.

[Postive-Aura]

Maybe she feels closer to you or secretly likes or admires you in some fashion, and dosent like you thinking of her in that way even in a joking way as compared to the other guys.

 

I think she likes you and wants your approval

[jecht]

doubts on her liking me casue i like her and i told her and she doesnt want a relationship this happened a while ago besides think she likes one of the guys who she isnt bother by when he mocks her